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Woman tells SIL, 'It's not MY job to make your kids eat.' AITA?

Woman tells SIL, 'It's not MY job to make your kids eat.' AITA?


When this woman feels like she's at odds with her SIL's parenting, she asks Reddit:

"AITA for telling my SIL it wasn't my job to make her kids eat?"

My husband and I had his sister and her family staying with us for a month while repairs were carried out on their house. SIL has 3 kids ages 5, 7 and 9. My husband and I have two kids ages 8 and 4. SIL and I both work from home so we were both home all day when they were staying with us.

So here's what happened. She asked if I would cook for all the kids vs us each cooking for our respective kids. I told her sure but explained to her how my kids eat and wanted to know whether she wanted them on the same schedule or whether she wanted a typical three meals deal. She said to feed them three meals.

For context on how I feed my kids. We do smaller meal sizes but eating more often. So pre-meal snacks are big in our family. Seconds are also a thing if we have a "hungry day". I also try to mix in a lot of different choices week to week so food is still enjoyable.

I know her kids' likes and dislikes with food so I took those into consideration when making food. But the kids did not want to eat the stuff I was making. They were upset it wasn't pizza or burgers or they were upset about tacos I make at home vs takeout ones.

The kids dug in their heels and said I needed to give them food they wanted. I told SIL and she would go to feed them. Then she'd get mad that I hadn't given them the food they wanted. I asked her if she wanted to take over feeding her kids and she said no.

It got to the point where the kids stopped coming to the table at meal times. Since SIL was aware of this I just let it go because I felt like she would make them come to the table if she was upset by them not eating much. They were in the office with her sometimes when we were eating.

The day they were going back home she turned to me and told me I should be ashamed of myself for letting her kids go without food. My husband told her she was here the whole time and should have done more. He also pointed out we did them a favor and she was acting very ungrateful.

A couple of weeks later she sent me a text saying yet again I should be ashamed and how could I refuse to accommodate children. I told SIL it wasn't my job to make her kids eat and that I had communicated with her while this was ongoing but she ignored me and expected me to bend over backward for them.

She accused me of cruelty to kids and told me I was an ass for thinking it wasn't my job to make sure children under my roof were eating enough. AITA?

Let's see what readers thought.

asleeptank6 writes:

Your NTA for not being her kids restaurant worker. However you need to stop being in charge of their food. Period. Tell her you’re not going to make food for her kids anymore. Tell her she is in charge of their nutritional needs from this moment forward. If they come to you hungry tell them they need to speak to their mother.

If she continues to abuse you and denigrate you in your own home tell her she and her family will need to find somewhere else to stay because this isn’t working out. You are doing her a favor. Don’t let her walk all over you.

constantincrease writes:

NTA. You can’t argue with crazy. Tell her no problem you won’t ever feed her kids again or host them at your house. At a family bday party and her kid asks for a cupcake? Yell across the room to SIL, “HEY YOUR KID WANTS A CUPCAKE.” Learn to tell the kids, “go ask your mom.”

I think we all know she is only hurting herself with her misguided rants. Karma will come. One day she will desperately need a babysitter and you’ll have to say, sorry but I promised you I’d never feed or host your kids again and I’m a woman of my promise.

kmia55 writes:

I've never read any parent handbook that states that you should let a family of 5 move into your home, provide one member with office space, be willing to cook dinner for 5 children (3 of which are not yours) and then cater to 3 children because they aren't willing to eat what was made and wanted takeout instead.

I have read handbooks on how to deal with entitled people though. If I were you I'd be banging my head against a wall out of frustration. NTA

Looks like OP is NTA. Any advice for her?

Sources: Reddit
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