When this woman is irritated with her parents, she asks Reddit:
My (f32) brother (35) is trash. He has multiple baby momma's and is a deadbeat. He also is the apple of my mom's eye. He can do no wrong and is just misunderstood.
My parents are retired and on a fixed budget. I do well for myself and I help them out. I give them maybe $500 a month to help with groceries and bills. Every once in a while I will give them extra for an unexpected expense. No questions asked.
My mom asked me for $2,000. I sent it to her. Strangely enough I ran into my brother at a family wedding I had been told he could not afford to attend because it was a destination wedding. Weird.
Funny story he actually missed the wedding because he hooked up with some rando on an excursion and went to their resort. It was our cousin's wedding and my aunt was pissed.
She had to make special arrangements to get him included on the trip since he only got the money last minute. She said my mom shouldn't have given him the money if he wasn't even going to show up.
Then she shut up after she saw the look on my face. I enjoyed the wedding and had a great time. When I got home I went to see my parents. I asked my mom why she had asked for the $2,000. She lied and said something for the house. I asked what. She couldn't say.
I told her what my aunt said. I told her and my father that from now on I wanted receipts for any money I gave them. I said I have no problem helping them but I will be damned if I work my ass off for her to give my money to my piece of shit brother.
She started crying and my dad said that they weren't children and didn't answer to me. I agreed and walked out.
I didn't talk to them for two months. My aunt called me yesterday and told me that my parents were thinking of going to.the food bank since they didn't have any money.
I said I had given them $2,000 a couple of months ago and that was more than my family of three spent on food on that time. She said I knew damn well they had given my money to my brother. I told her that he should probably pay them back then. She said I was being a b&^ch. AITA?
OP you’re NTA, your parents are. They’ve created this monster and now you’re supporting him. They’re using you as a cash cow. Yes it’s true they don’t answer to you, but if you’re footing the bill then they damn well better tell you where the money is going.
And your aunt calling you a b* is funny. If she cares so much about your parents she should be footing the bill. Which I highly doubt bc people are always one to talk but never to sign the check. Stand your ground and let them suffer a little so they understand. They won’t die over eating some food from the food bank for once.
NTA this was basically The Moment where your parents are going to decide whether they care more about enabling your brother than you and their well-being. They went too far this time and don’t want to admit they were wrong.
I doubt you’d actually let them go hungry but that’s not the problem they are up against. They are up against pride - they don’t want to go to a food bank and they don’t want as parents to have to look their adult child in the eye and take the consequences of lying and financially taking advantage.
It pricks pride that youll pay a bill but expect a receipt, because it’s embarrassing to not be trusted - and they earned it!
Small note: if it comes to a point where you are assisting again? Pay the bill directly, don’t give money. It’s the only way to make sure the money went where you wanted.
NTA.. They are not children, so they need to stop handing out YOUR money to your deadbeat, brother.. if they are really desperate, take them a few bags of food. If they need a bill paying, you can pay the bill directly, but no more giving them money.
To me, getting money off you under false pretences is as good as stealing. You should tell them how that made you feel that they took your generosity for granted and took you for a fool.