Woman trashes sister in story about 'miscarriage karma,' sister FINDS post and tells her side of the story. AITA? UPDATED.
When this woman is furious with her sister after what she said about her miscarriage, and then her actual sister replies on the same Reddit post, drama ensues:
"AITAH for blowing up at my sister after she said my miscarriage was "karma"?"
(I'm 31 and Emma's 29). A few months ago, I suffered a traumatic miscarriage. It's been one of the most difficult moments of my life, but I'm getting through it slowly.
Me and my sister Emma's relationship sort of fell apart a few years ago after an incident. We still talk, but it's rare and she still acts snarky towards me (but I'm not towards her). My parents have tried to talk to her but she doesn't want to hear it.
She didn't reach out to me at all after hearing news of my miscarriage, which really hurt. We had family dinner recently, Emma was there and I was sort of saying to mom that even my friends sent a card or checked in with me to see how I was doing, but not a word from Emma.
Emma got a bit defensive after hearing that but I thought it was the end of that.
Fast forward a couple weeks, I get a text from Emma saying she sent a card for me. I get the card and inside, she wrote "karma is your boyfriend, stings right?". (I'm a big Taylor Swift fan so it's referencing her song).
I was shocked Emma could be so outwardly cruel. We had a big fight over the phone and I said she needs to get over sh& and realize the world doesn't revolve around her, it's all blown up a bit now.
My husband and parents are thankfully being supportive of me and telling Emma to apologize, but my youngest sister is on Emma's side. AITAH?
Then, OP's sister, Emma, finds the post and puts her two cents in:
stayingtostudy replies:
Hi - I scroll on this sub sometimes and just came across this post. The OP in this is my sister, I'm 'Emma'. And it seems sister dearest isn't putting the whole info on here about why we don't have a good relationship so let me tell you.
My fiance died, along with my sister in law and her boyfriend, in a car wreck. Just a few weeks before his death I'd found out I was pregnant. My sister chose not to come to the funeral because she went to a concert with her friends.
She said she couldn't not go, and when I called her out, she called me an attention seeker, said I was jealous of her, and I was pretending to be pregnant to get even more attention. I was a pregnant 24 year old who just lost their partner and all I wanted was my big sister to be with me.
After she came back from this trip we didn't talk for a while then she gave a half-assed apology about how she didn't know better. I didn't give a F. I know where she stood when she said all those things to me and ditched me on the worst day of my life, so I also told her where I stood which is I don't accept her apology.
We have very limited contact now outside of family dinners and things like this. I didn't attend her wedding and I don't invite her to my kid's events or anything like that.
I did hear about the miscarriage which is sad, but I don't have any feelings outside of that. I didn't want to contact her so I didn't, at my parents house she was complaining to mom about how I didn't acknowledge her during this time, so I sent the card, that my behavior towards her is karma for her behavior towards me.
I don't mind whether people agree with what I did or not - I don't regret it - but I wanted to give the context.
Readers were SHOCKED. Take a look!
caitinhoney writes:
I’m so sorry for the loss of all your people. I’m sorry that your sister is a narcissist. OP you are incredibly selfish. How can you expect others to be there for you when you have your darkest days and try to call them out not supporting you. When you don’t have the ability to do that for others.
greyrobot6 writes:
Your sister is a garbage person. To have treated you that way, then the gall to turn around and complain. I’ve had a miscarriage, I know how devastating they can be but I’m not going to expect empathy from someone I’ve kicked while they’re down (I personally have never done it since I am not a garbage person).
Wow. I do not blame you at all for your reaction. Your sister is the worst.
etherealgar writes:
Shocked. Gagged. OP confirmed that she missed a funeral, although OP has neither denied or confirmed the reasons for missing the funeral. There’s also a link in the comments to another AITAH post that explains the reason OP missed the funeral, although it hasn’t been confirmed if it’s OP yet.
Regardless of the reasons, I do think it shows a lack of self-awareness for OP to expect sympathy from somebody she previously showed no sympathy towards during what was presumably that person’s most darkest and difficult time period.
I think the “karma” lyrics were OP’s sister’s way of trying to get OP to develop self-awareness of how OP’s behavior hurt her when OP wasn’t there for her when she needed her.
odvega0 writes:
Your sister sucks and I'm so sorry you've dealt with favoritism with your parents like this as well. Your sister is a giant AH. I feel for you so much. I'm so sorry for your losses. Time will heal you, please go NC with those horrible people. Especially someone who would lie like this about you, especially since she's supposed to be your sister.
beantablue writes:
OP. Based on your example you shouldn’t expect grief support from your little sister. Her fiancé died! You were less than fully there for her.
Then you had a loss, a reportedly “traumatic miscarriage” which even if it’s terrible, I believe can reasonably be estimated as a lesser loss than the sudden violent death of the person you were relying upon to build a new life with.