Woman trying to control ADHD daughter snaps when MIL completely defies her parenting.
When this mom is annoyed with her MIL for trying to parent her daughter, she asks Reddit:
'AITA? MIL told my daughter to do something I had just told her not to do?'
I have been with my spouse for 17 years. In the beginning my MIL and I did not get along at all, but we moved past that and generally get along really well. We go on family vacations each year and just returned.
The last night of our trip we went out to a restaurant and sat down at our table, and my daughter (6) noticed a little girl playing in the grass and asked if she could go play with her.. Now normally I would have instantly said yes, my daughter is very social… BUT my daughter has adhd and is on medication.
The night before she didn’t sleep at all and all that day (even on her medication) she was WILD, to the point where I was concerned. She couldn’t sit still, honestly it was like she was on cra&k.. So I told my daughter no, and said she needed to wait until we ate and then she could get up and play (this restaurant has an outdoor area).
A few moments later I overhear my MIL telling my daughter that there’s a little girl and she should go play with her! Before I could say anything my daughter was gone. I didn’t say anything until my MIL brought it up and pointed out that she saw the little girl playing and told our daughter she should go play, I then responded with “I know, but I had just told her to stay at the table..” she flipped out.
Her response was “what?!…… je$u$ f’n Chri$t!” I explained that I was concerned my daughter would mess up the girls stuff and just be a little too wild because of how the day had been going.. And then after a moment she got up and stormed off to the bathroom.
For the rest of the night she wouldn’t acknowledge me or even look towards our side of the table until it was time for them to leave. Now I understand maybe she didn’t hear me tell my daughter to stay at the table, but her response could have been “oh my gosh I’m sorry I didn’t know that..” was I wrong in this situation? AITA?
Let's see what internet users had to say.
thirstycharm writes:
ESH. You told a child with ADHD, who was struggling with staying still to stay at the table? Not to go run around? Not to go get out her energy in a safe or constructive way? Yeah sounds like your kid.
ktempest writes:
NTA - Her reaction to you was messed up. If she didn't like being 'corrected' she should have checked with you first before sending YOUR child off to play. Unless she knows for sure what you want, it's not on her to be huffy when you inform her that she just contradicted you.
Plus, that sends mixed signals to the kid. Is she now going to ask gramma every time she wants something and you say no? There's a fun time. :/
All she had to do was say sorry, she didn't realize you'd already made that call and she'll be sure to check with you next time.
kornflakes74 writes:
NTA.You're the parent, she's not, whether or not she's allowed to go and play is up to you, not her. She either heard you say your daughter couldn't go and play and ignored you, or didn't hear in which case her flipping out is totally unreasonable.