Woman upsets delivery man when she exposes her breast pump to him. AITA?
When this woman feels humiliated by her delivery man, she asks Reddit:
"AITA for greeting the delivery man while wearing and operating a breast pump?"
I (33F) am currently pumping 6 times a day for breast milk. My newborn had tongue tie and difficulty latching, so I am exclusively pumping. At home when it's just me and my husband, I don't cover up to pump.
When I have company over, I wear a cover over the pumps (nothing wrong with not wearing a cover... I'm just personally not comfortable pumping with my nipples exposed in front of my in-laws, parents, friends, etc). FYI without a cover, even though you are fully clothed, the nipples are visible through the flanges when you pump.
Yesterday my front lawn camera triggered a notification, and I saw the delivery guy walking up to my house with a package that I was expecting. I was mid-pump so I texted my husband, but he replied that he was in the middle of a work meeting and could not come to the door.
After ringing the doorbell and receiving no answer, I could see on security cam that he was writing the missed delivery slip for pickup at the post office.
Honestly, it's such a pain because you have to wait until the next day and drive all the way to the post office. So I decided - screw it - threw on my cover and opened the front door.
He looked very shocked and very uncomfortable to see me: I had my pump clipped to my waist, a cover over the flanges, so while no breast or nipples were exposed, you could tell there was the outline of something attached to my chest, some tubing visible, and obvious pump noises and possibly audible milk spray.
I just pumped again, so this time I took a picture of the exact coverint. (so no ni&s/breasts exposed, but definitely obvious that I was pumping).
He basically cleared his throat, shifted and looked away while I signed for the delivery. Then as he handed me the package, he kind of winced and said: "You know you didn't have to open the door in your... state. It's nothing urgent."
I replied: "Yeah, but I don't want to make a trip to the post office to pick it up when you're already here." He seemed quite annoyed and said: "I think you should realize that this makes others uncomfortable."
At that point, I felt quite annoyed and said rather sarcastically, "My bad for traumatizing you. Hope no one else on your delivery route answers the door with medical equipment."
When I told my husband, he rolled his eyes and said "that guy needs to get over himself." But thinking about it, I wonder if I was being an inconsiderate AH. Perhaps this is different from breastfeeding or pumping in public?
There, you are minding your own business and others can look away, and you are not "making" them look at you. By answering the door, I was maybe forcing him to interact with me while I was in a state that some might find uncomfortable? I wonder if I've misunderstood some kind of social contract here.
Let's see what readers thought.
spicyturtle writes:
NTA. You’re in your own home, you were totally covered. This man needs to grow up and understand that his job requires him to visit people in their personal spaces. You didn’t flash him, you were basically fixing your kid lunch.
What an absurd reaction for him to expect you to inconvenience yourself on the off-chance you might accidentally offend someone by doing something entirely inoffensive.
captainmeredith writes:
NTA, your husband is correct. Personally in your situation I would have had to run to the door without more than a blanket given the delivery people here drop those slips and scarper so dang fast. He can get over it. Looking at that pic its really not even a big deal, id be more uncomfortable if someone answered in a housecoat personally, but that's kinda standard for the job.
awarecontrol5 writes:
NTA just because he felt uncomfortable is his problem. It’s not that much different from any woman breastfeeding in public with a cover over them. Women shouldn’t feel obligated to hide what is necessary just because men don’t like it.
I used to work for the post office delivering the post and I’ve seen a bloke naked hiding behind a patterned glass door! I just laughed and thanked the glass being patterned enough that I didn’t see him, it life and we all have to get on with it.