Woman's family made her feel lesser; aren't invited to wedding so they can 'feel left out.'
"Am I Wrong for Throwing a Line my Parents Always Used to Use On Me Back In Their Faces?"
TAAmIWrongHere
Throwaway because I'm pretty certain my brothers have Reddit, and I don't want them to know my main. I (27F) have always been the kid who my parents didn’t give a crap about. As the middle child, it was always, “Oh, your sibling needs us more.” And my needs were quite often just not met.
Any attempt to get my parents to do something with or for me was met with being called selfish and told my siblings needs came before mine right now. Neither of my siblings have special needs; they are just both kind of spoiled brats. My brothers (30 and 25) are the golden oldest child and their precious baby. I was the unwanted girl child in the middle.
They made this clear in all sorts of ways, from not wanting to pay for my school supplies and wanting me to figure it out, to the way birthdays were treated, to Christmas. Forget them showing up to anything for me, but I was expected to drop everything to show up to any and everything my brothers did.
My brothers both got brand new cars for their 16th birthdays, but I didn't need one. I got a rusty bike they found at a garage sale and told if I could fix it up, they guessed I could have it. I fixed it up, and they gave it to my brother instead. I moved in with my aunt on my 18th birthday.
I’m getting married to a wonderful woman, and my parents just recently found out. They called me several cruel names and were angry I hadn’t told them and then immediately started in on how I couldn't do certain things because of my brothers.
I can’t have a nice chicken or fish dish; it has to be steak or pizza or they won't eat it. I can't be too affectionate because you know how guys get around two girls being together. I can't have a wedding party if they can't be involved.
I finally snapped. I told them that neither they nor my apparently creepy brothers were invited. That for once, something was about me, not them. I told them that I had no interest in making my wedding about their crappy sons, who have achieved nothing in life so far because they babied them to the point of uselessness. My wedding was not about what they wanted.
My mother cried, and my father asked why I was treating them so poorly. I said, “You’re just being selfish, my needs come before yours right now.” There was a stunned silence before my father told me that it wasn’t fair that I would say that to them because this was a different situation.
I hung up and blocked them both, but my cousin, who I’m close to, said they were making a huge ordeal out of it. They’ve been calling other family members and then being surprised when they’re told yes, they can believe I’d not want them making my wedding about them or my brothers.
My mother apparently posted a long woe is me, where did I go wrong post on FB but took it down after my aunt lit her up in the comments about where she went wrong. My older brother reached out just once to ask if he really wasn’t invited, and I said yeah, he really wasn’t. He seemed a little upset, but at this point, I don’t even care.
All he said after that was that I shouldn’t have said what I did to our parents and that they are upset they aren’t invited to the wedding, and even if I didn’t invite him or our other brother, I should at least invite them. I refused and hung up.
My parents and brothers don’t know when or where we’re getting married, I never intended to invite them, but eloping is starting to look pretty good right about now.
My grandmother has reached out only once to say while she kind of understands why I don't want them there, it was kind of a blow low to throw the line they always used on me back in their faces. I thought maybe I'd get some 3rd party opinions here, but I don't think I was wrong.
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
Raffzz15
NTA and throwing that line back at them was a boss move.
Fianna9
I’m amazed that dad even realized right away it was his line being thrown back at them. The fact he recognized it makes it worse, oh they remember alright that OP was treated badly. They really just don’t care.
Megmelons55
Frankly this is the only way some people realize how sh*tty they have been. NTA, I bet using that line felt awesome.
Shadowedwolf89
NTA. Throwing their own words back at them was magical. I would be careful about who you invite, as you don’t want someone who may give them the date and address. Eloping is a great idea to protect your peace!
Lucky-Guess8786
You are not wrong. Your parents deserved everything you said. I hope you have a wonderful wedding and happy married life.
Over-Marionberry-686
You are my new favorite AHole 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏 bravo. Bravo. What you said was EXACTLY what needed to be said. Go. Get married. Hire security and give them photos of mom and dad and brothers with do not allow inside directions. Have a GREAT wedding and a happy life!