Woman walks out of Thanksgiving when ex-husband's young GF shows up. AITA?
When this woman is angry with her ex at Thanksgiving, she asks Reddit:
"AITA for walking out of Thanksgiving dinner with my ex’s family?"
I have a fairly decent relationship with my ex’s family. When his mom asked if I would join them for thanksgiving I said yes because I want my son to spend as much time with them.
My ex husband and I can usually get along for the sake of our son and that took many years of work since it was very rocky for a while.
When we broke up he starting dating a 22 year old girl who was at the time 11 years older than my son. He had her spend the night I was still living in our house. Long story short I left, we divorced and this girl was incredibly rude to me and my son on numerous occasions.
.Needless to say I don’t like her never did and never will. They don’t date anymore but they are friends which is fine as long as I don’t have to deal with her.
So I show up with my son to his grandparents house and we are waiting on him to get there. He shows up with this girl to stay and have dinner since I guess she helped cook the turkey. I was so uncomfortable. His mother claims she didn’t know she was coming.
I go into the den and ask my son if he knew she was coming and he had no idea. So I asked him if he would be upset if I left because I wasn’t given a heads up that she was coming or I could have made the decision for my son to stay with his grandparents and I would have made other arrangements for myself since my family doesn’t live here.
My ex’s father says out loud let me help Robert out and brings the girl into the den. Acting as if this is completely normal because he had always like her and not me as much. I politely excused myself and told them I was going home. My ex’s response was he didn’t like think he had to ask me since they aren’t even dating.
I calmly said (I’m proud of myself because I wanted to cuss both of them out) I would have liked a heads up so I could have made a decision to come or not. He had a ton of excuses saying she changed her mind at the last minute.
I said a simple text or heads up would have been great instead of making me look like and asshole. I felt bad for my son because he was caught off guard too.
I have spent so much time trying to heal from that whole time and situation and my ex just acted like I was being irrational (classic gaslighting) because I didn’t want to sit and have a family meal with them. AITA?
Let's see what readers thought.
dazzlingfunction333 writes:
NTA—they blindsided you, intentionally or not. Given the history that they’re all aware of, it’s not an olive branch to bring in someone you’re not connected to as as a coparent or by blood that will likely stir up old hurt feelings. I give you credit for not making a bigger expletive-filled scene.
pregannat87 writes:
NTA. It smells like someone (your ex or grandpa) set you up to piss you off. Good for you for trying to keep things civil. However, I think your ex's family might not be mature enough to trust with being respectful to you in regards to family get togethers.
I'd thank them for any future invite and connect with them on your own terms, like inviting grandma over for tea or something.
rosie3435 writes:
NTA. You got tricked into walking into a trap. I am proud of you to be as supportive to your son. This is very awkward situation. Stay away in the future for your emotional well being.