When this woman is frustrated with her friend's pregnancy and birth, she asks Reddit:
Made a throwaway for this in case my friend somehow sees this post. I'm on mobile, so sorry if formatting is weird. My friend(24F) and I(23F) have been friends since our teens. I'm in a long term relationship but don't have a kid yet.
So maybe I just look at things differently. Well, my friend started dating this guy last year, and she ended up pregnant pretty quickly, even after he cheated a few times. She just gave birth. I've been so thrilled for her, because she will be one of the best moms I know.
But, the pregnancy was REALLY rough for her. Her only friends (I live in a different state now) abandoned her, and she was fighting with her baby dad every single day. She also had several health complications resulting from the pregnancy.
So I made sure to be there for her literally as best as possible throughout her pregnancy despite being a thousand miles away.
So over the course of 9 months, I've grown SUPER tired of her complaints. But I never said anything because I wanted to be there for her. She has a tendency to freak out easily. She is very dramatic and being pregnant has only made it worse. I figured it would get better once the baby was born but I was wrong.
When she gave birth, she was freaking out about him being premature. He was born at 37 weeks and weighed 6 (or 7?) pounds when he was born. they left the hospital with the baby after 2 days. I was born at 32 weeks, and had to be in the NICU for 2 months. I weighed 2 pounds.
My twin brother didn't make it, so I get a little sensitive with this. My friend has been going around saying the baby is premature. She's asking for no one to visit because he's a preemie and is more susceptible to illnesses.
Idk why it's been bothering me so much. He's not a preemie and he didn't have to struggle like actual preemies do. I haven't said anything when she calls him a preemie, but everytime she says it my blood boils.
She did have to get an unexpected C section, but other than that hiccup, everything went smoothly birth wise. The baby is 100% fine and had no complications. Would I be TA if I did say something to her? I know it's insignificant and maybe even a little petty, and I don't speak for all preemies, so that's why I haven't said anything. AITA?
YTA - Preterm cutoff is just before 37w, full term isn’t until 39w. So baby is still considered early. Lots of babies are born preterm that don’t require NICU stays.
Lots of growth happens in the final weeks of pregnancy, your friend not wanting people around because baby is more susceptible to illnesses is 100% correct. Even full term infants are more susceptible because they don’t have strong immune systems. Your friend’s whole life was just upended, give her some grace.
NTA. She sounds exhausting and I can understand why her locals friends couldn’t deal with her.
YTA. Full-term is 39 weeks. It's possible the doctors referred to her baby as a preemie as the definition/gestation age changes from doctor to doctor, though it is usually 37 weeks.
I get that you are sensitive to it, but she is allowed to be more conscious of health risks and/or feel scared because her baby was born early. Things can go wrong fast even though baby is healthy now. That's a real risk.