Woman wants to give husband's late daughter's room to HER daughter. AITA?
When this woman feels like she upset her husband, she asks Reddit:
"AITA for thinking my daughter should get husband’s daughter old room?"
I (f38) have been with my husband (41) for 5 years married for a couple of months now. I have 2 daughters (14) and (12). My husband has a daughter who passed away 8 years ago.
Her room is still the same he never changed anything / took anything out. My daughters and I were living in an apartment before we moved in with my now husband. My daughters have to share a room The house has 3 bedrooms but because his daughter’s room still has everything in it my daughters share.
I think it's fine he keeps some of his daughter’s stuff but I think it's ridiculous to keep her whole room especially considering it has been 8 years. Today I decided to ask if he would consider getting rid of some of his daughter’s stuff so both girls get their own room.
He got upset and said I was insensitive for expecting him to get rid of his daughter’s stuff. I told him it has been 8 years and I'm not expecting him to get rid of everything Just enough so both girls have their own room.
He got mad and said he thinks he made a mistake marrying me because I'm an insensitive asshole and it shouldn't matter how long it's been. AITA?
Let's see what readers thought.
extinctdiplotas writes:
To your specific question, NTA for thinking your daughter should get the room. However you are TA for either marrying the wrong guy or failing to plan what happens when you move in together. You should have talked about and agreed on the living arrangements before you got married.
anotherdumbblonde writes:
YTA. It’s his house and even if it has been 8 years it’s the memory of his dead child? Also it’s not something you ever get over!
515e writes:
NTA It's true that there is no expiry date on grief. It's also true that the quality of your present depends on prioritizing the living. Maintaining a shrine to his dead daughter was never a healthy path for grief.
I'm constantly surprised to read how couple decide to blend families with a big elephant like this in the room without premarital counseling. If he won't agree to counseling, you really need some individual counseling to explore how much of your daughters' life you are willing to sacrifice for his dead daughter.
Do you expect them to live forever in her shadow?