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'AITA for telling my SIL her child will never have a relationship with his half-brother?'

'AITA for telling my SIL her child will never have a relationship with his half-brother?'


"AITA for telling my SIL she shouldn't have married my brother if she wanted her child to have a big brother?"

SIL and brother got married 3 years ago and now have a 2 month old daughter together. My brother has a son Jax (18) who was raised by his maternal grandparents from the age of 5 after his mom passed away. My brother was not part of Jax's life. I was.

I have made an effort to be a big part of his life. I see him as much as possible. He has spent the night at my house several times. He's my nephew and I was never going to abandon him the way my brother did.

SIL asked me to give her Jax's contact info when she was pregnant so she could tell him he was going to have a little sister. I told her that Jax did not want her or his dad to have the contact info and he already knew she was pregnant.

She asked how and I told her I let him know, because he had always wanted to know if my brother or someone else in my brother's life might try to reach out to him. He's not interested. He's felt that way for years and I respect that.

Having a half sibling coming into the world means nothing to him. As far as he's concerned he will always be an only child because he only has one parent, his mom.

SIL decided to track Jax down on social media before her baby shower to invite him. He never replied and he didn't show, which I knew beforehand. SIL was upset about it and vented to me. I mostly ignored her. It was after my niece was born that the incident in question happened.

SIL reached out to Jax again and was blocked and reported for harassment. She was upset and said it wasn't fair Jax was taking it out on her daughter and that she deserves to have her big brother in her life despite my brother's 'mistakes' in letting him be out of his life.

She was getting very blamey toward Jax and I did not want to hear it. I told her if she had wanted her child to have a big brother then she shouldn't have married a deadbeat dad, she shouldn't have married my brother, because they have ZERO right to expect Jax to want anything to do with any of them.

SIL said Jax wanted me in his life. I told her I was there from day one and never let my brother's actions take me out of his life. I showed up when HE didn't and I stayed friendly with his grandparents and he saw that. I told her that SHE didn't get to demand anything from him when she knowingly married my brother.

SIL said I was blaming her for no reason and I should be more understanding that as a mom she wants the best for her kid. AITA for what I said to her?

Let's see what internet users had to say.

trvllr writes:

Yeah, I personally could not marry and have kids with someone I KNOW abandoned one child already. He’s had years to figure his shit out and try to be involved. Just because his wife wants Jax in her kids life does not obligate Jax to do anything. He’s done it once, there’s a good chance should things go south with him and SIL, he could absolutely do it again. NTA.

thaliagorgon writes:

NTA. Your sister in law clearly doesn’t care about Jax or his feelings. How does she think it would make him feel to see his dad who abandoned him acting like a dad to their daughter? She wants her daughter to know her big brother?

Too bad, her husband burned that bridge and she clearly doesn’t actually care enough to repair it. She wants to contact Jax for her own selfish reasons, not actually for family.

Good job supporting your nephew and showing him that he’s loved and wasn’t completely forgotten and abandoned by his father’s family. Keep defending and supporting him, he clearly needs you.

oddeffect writes:

YTA - Tough call, but you, even though you have been huge in Jax the child's life, should let Jax the 18 year old adult speak for himself. don't get in-between, support your family, even when they annoy you, but helping put up walls makes YTA.

So, is OP TA here? What do YOU think?

Sources: Reddit
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