When this woman lashes out at her SIL, she asks Reddit:
AITA for making my SIL leave after she came to help when I give birth to my third child I (31 f) am about to give birth to our 3rd child, due 2days.
My hub asked his sis to come ( lives in a diff city) & help take care of our other 2 kids while we go to have our bb when the time comes. I was appreciative of this when he told me she was coming as this wasn’t supposed to be long term. I assumed 2-3 weeks.
Next thing I know my hub is telling me she will be here for 3 mths after we have already agreed she come up. I’m not very happy about this as I don’t want a full time visitor for that long with our new bb, I voice my concerns But we can’t do anything about it now as she is already coming.
She shows up and is great at first , but now her daughter (12) who lives full time in the same city as us with her dad is also staying with us.
This was never part of the agreement or plan at any point. So now our houshold has doubled chaos while we prep for bb & while we are deep in Reno’s - we only have 1 bathrm rn that is right next to our room, so everytime someone comes up the stairs to use it, our dogs bark or someone gets woken up.
This is obvs annoying wo the 2 extra people here, but on top of being woken up multiple times a night now we have two school aged lo’s trying to get ready in the am & this was never ran by me.
My hub also told his sis that she will be taking over all school drop & pick ups for our son wo letting me know (I am a sahm) they have been in constant talks over what she will be doing to “help” and no one has asked me what I need.
We (hub & I) end up getting in a big argument about it because Our house is over crowded now, I’m literally about to pop out a baby & that seems to be everyone’s least concern here.
I’m stressed to the max I’m over hosting, I can’t find anything she puts away, we are all waiting for bathrooms, lack of sleep, & I’m being told I NEED help to do the jobs that I do everyday just fine.
The only help I agreed to was having her come watch our older kids (3&8) while I was giving birth. The next day she completely avoids me & hides in the bsmt all afternoon, & only talks to him & our kids. So now on top of all the stress I’m being treated like the bad guy & now feeling even more awkward & I’m being avoided.
So I ask my hub about this it ends in argument & he calls his sis in to come talk which I didn’t want because now I’m the monster in the middle. She tells me well her thing is that she doesn’t get to be a mom so she’s trying to do this now here with her daughter.
(SN; that she chooses to work out of town & could be here if she chose to be,) I told her that right now that’s not my problem & my only concern right now is having this baby & being comfortable in my own home as I didn’t ask for any of this “help”.
She said well if I don’t want her help then she will leave tmr. I didn’t argue her leaving, If she was so set on helping me why did she run everything past my hub instead of asking me what I needed. AITA?
Whoa. Your post is sure giving “stressed.” No one even needs to read the whole thing before giving you this advice: High blood pressure before you have a baby can be dangerous. You must find a way to chill for your own health.
You need to calmly explain to your husband that you’re worried about the impact of this stress on your blood pressure, which is getting high, and he needs to help create a peaceful environment for you. Tell him what you need.
Then explain that you’re not yourself right now, and you’re at risk of burning bridges by saying hurtful things to his sister that you might not really mean. So for the sake of your health, the newborn, and his sister, he needs to figure out how to create a calm environment for you and fix this catastrophe himself. NTA.
NTA but your husband is not very bright or intelligent. He needs to be a mature Damm adult and discuss things appropriately with you and not make decisions for you! He is making you live in an environment that is very dangerous for your health and the babies health. Don’t have any more kids with this AH.
Why the hell would he think having your SIL there for 3 months be okay for you. You know why. It’s because he doesn’t want to pull his own weight as he is the god Damm lazy one. Then he tries to gaslight you. You have a husband problem and you need to pull him into line and set boundaries.
NTA! I am seven months pregnant and your post gave me anxiety and stress for you! It sounds like she lost her job and housing and hubby and SIL came up with this plan while you were vulnerable.
What really bothers me, is Hubby Gaslighting you into being the bad guy and dragging sil in to your private argument, so he could embarrass you into submission.. what cruel things he did...
Is there anyone else you can lean on? If it were me, idk if my hubby would be at the hospital but that may also be a battle you don't want to combat right now either.