When this mom is fed up, she asks Reddit:
I (f33) have a daughter (12) with cancer specifically osteosarcoma. She got diagnosed with osteosarcoma about 3 months ago. The tumor was on her hip and she was able to get limb salvage surgery 2 weeks ago.
Well about a few days before her surgery we found out that 3 girls she considered friends (obviously not anymore) were making fun of my daughter.
They said she was being dramatic, and that chemotherapy probably doesn't make you that sick, and they were making fun of her being bald.
Of course that hurt my daughter because before this she considered them to be friends.I talked to the girl's parents and they ended up all writing apology letters. I was talking to one of my daughter's doctors about that whole situation. I wanted to teach them a lesson.
She said how the girls are uneducated about cancer and that maybe if my daughter and I are comfortable with it they can come and see the oncology part of the hospital just to learn a bit more about cancer.
Well, I talked it over with my daughter and she was ok with it. So I tried talking to the girl's parents. None of them were willing to let their daughter go. Saying it would be traumatizing. I brought up kids who go through cancer all the time.
If anything it's traumatizing for my daughter and any other kid who has to deal with having cancer. They called me a AH for trying to make their daughter's more sorry and said they already wrote the letters so that should be enough. Basically they were shocked that I asked for more. AITA?
First, I am so sorry your family is going through this. Cancer is a hell of a disease. I hope you daughter heals well from it and live a long, happy life.
NTA. I don't blame the kids for being uninformed and a little cruel : kids often lack empathy.
But their parents are asshole. It is THEIR JOB to ensure that their kids learn grow into responsible adults. Their kids are sheltered from reality, and they are given a nice free reality check. What a wasted opportunity
You are NTA, but OF COURSE those parents called you an AH: their daughters didn’t just become mean and ignorant for no reason.
If it were me, I would have made my daughter volunteer in the kids cancer wing because she obviously needs help developing empathy, but really nothing you can do if their parents say no. You’re a real warrior for your daughter, may she have your strength and resolve!
I have a strong feeling that it’s attention jealousy. My sister got MS when I was 10 and died when I was 17. Multiple girls bullied me throughout those years and I couldn’t grasp why they were so awful to me but now it’s so clear.
I really feel for your daughter and for you - you seem like a very caring and compassionate mom and she’s lucky to have your support. I know it’s hard.
As for the other parties involved - parents often don’t realize that by not imposing appropriate consequences, they are raising children who lack empathy and conscientiousness.
As many have suggested, It would be great if you could find a way to help provide public awareness and community support for your daughter.
This way, the lesson would be learned by those families seeing the rest of the community supporting you. Sending you all my best. These hardships can help build strong family bonds and you are doing a great job! ETA - NTA