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Teen with allergies tells mom she should keep dog, 'I'm okay with seeing you less.' UPDATED.

Teen with allergies tells mom she should keep dog, 'I'm okay with seeing you less.' UPDATED.


Tact is everything, and even the most thoughtful among us slip out with a badly worded sentence that accidentally hurts people.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a teen asked if they were wrong for saying they "don't mind" not seeing their mom if that means she can keep her dog. They wrote:

"AITA for saying I don't mind not seeing my mom?"

My (14) parents divorced two years ago. Her new husband moved in, along with a dog, which made me no longer able to visit her since I am severely allergic. It sucks big time since I like dogs but can't have or even play with one. She doesn't want to visit me here since we're a couple of hours apart and she isn't a good driver. All prior visits have been dad driving me there, dropping me off, and picking me up.

I recently found out that my dad has been trying to pressure her and her husband to get rid of the dog so I can visit safely. They had an argument over a video call the other day and I said 'No! Don't get rid of an innocent dog. I'm okay with not seeing you.' They both went quiet. Mom hung up the call. Dad later said I shouldn't have said that, and now my mom probably thinks I don't care about her that much.

Should I have worded it differently.

The internet had OP's back.

cadaloz1 wrote:

NTA, not at all. You are the child in this situation, and you are a very kind human to look out for the dog that way. You have no responsibility for how your mom is feeling right now, and it was wrong of your dad to put that on you. She could take driving lessons and drive to see you. She could work to find the dog a wonderful new home -- there are plenty of organizations that help with that.

She and her husband could buy the shampoo and wipes that makes the dog's dander and fur less allergenic and keep the house clean of its fur. Your father could have spent the time he spent reprimanding you on telling your mother to get her act together. You have done nothing wrong. Your mom needs to wake up and face the consequences of her choices, and your dad needs to be a better advocate for you.

l3ex_G wrote:

NTA sorry sweetie, your mom is the problem and should have never gotten the dog. Sit your dad down and talk this out and perhaps you can get his help in explaining to your mom that you won’t be seeing her and it’s just going to be normal she’s out of your life. She's making a huge mistake.

Alternative_Boat9540 wrote:

NTA. Oh hun, sending you a virtual hug. If your mum has the nerve to be upset you said 'you don't mind not seeing her' when she has made zero effort to see you or to accommodate your need to be able to breathe in her house...well that would be wrong and selfish of her.

She could find a way to come and see you, even if she can't drive it. She could find a solution to the dog allergies, even ones that don't involve rehoming it (board the dog and clean before you came, take you on trips etc.)

If she wanted to make the effort, she could and would. Her excuses are weak and it's real twisted if she got upset that you weren't that upset about her failing to do her job as a mum. What was she expecting? For you to beg to be given more consideration than a dog? I hope your mum gets her act together and realizes the lovely kid she's missing out on. You deserve a mum who puts in the effort.

SlinkyMalinky20 wrote:

NTA. You are a kind person who deserves a better, less selfish mother. Your comment probably made both your parents see the realty of your mother’s choice uncomfortably clear. So be it.

After receiving an outpouring of support, OP jumped back on with an update.

UPDATE: Just talked to her over the phone. I told her she is my mom and I still love her but I just don’t want that pup to be separated from his human because of me. She then talked to my dad a bit more before reaching an agreement. From now on she and I will meet at a shopping mall halfway between our place and hers every Sunday. That way we see each other once a week.

OP is clearly the furthest from being an AH here.

Sources: Reddit
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