'AITA for ruining my SIL's birthday dinner because she encouraged her kids to pull a prank?'
"AITA for ruining my SIL's birthday dinner because she encouraged her kids to pull a prank?"
My husband and I (38F) went to my SIL's house for her birthday. It's quite a long drive and so we drove up the day before and stayed overnight in their spare room (the birthday meal was going to be midday). She has two kids aged 4 and 7. Husband and I went in separate cars as we were coming from different work places to get there.
I am very short-sighted and literally can't see 1ft in front of my face without my glasses. Every night I take them off and put them on the nightstand right where I know I can reach them in the morning. now, apparently, SIL thought it would be a funny prank to get her kids to sneak into the room (I sleep with earplugs in because husband is a loud snorer) and take and hide my glasses.
On the morning of her birthday, I couldn't find my glasses on the nightstand. I had to ask my husband to help (in case they had fallen off and under the bed or something) but we couldn't find them anywhere. I was really distraught because as I said, I'm literally almost non-functional without them.
Husband helped me down to breakfast and I explained that I wouldn't be able to take part in the meal midday (nearby restaurant) and couldn't drive myself home. I was really upset. They are also expensive glasses because I have to get the lenses thinned etc. so about £600. SIL let this go on until they were literally about to go for her birthday lunch.
I'd not been able to do much at all up until this point because *I CAN'T SEE* then she jokingly said to her kids, "Ok, that's enough I think, go get them" and the kids ran off to fetch my glasses from where they'd hidden them. She said not to blame them at all (I don't... ish) and it was her idea and just a bit of harmless fun.
I put my glasses on, got in my car, said nothing at all and just drove home. My husband is on my side and has apologised on SIL's behalf saying that she thought I would see the funny side. He is very apologetic and offered to skip her birthday meal as well and come home. But HE is being apologetic. Not her.
I've had nothing from SIL except from an angry Whatsapp message to the group (not directly to me but to the family group) saying that her birthday had been ruined because "someone" couldn't take a joke. Apparently, after I left she had a meltdown about how the day was ruined because I drove off and the kids were upset.
It is genuinely distressing for me to *not be able to see* but I see(!) how she might have thought this would be funny to get her kids to do. AITA?
EDIT: I feel bad that the kids think they are the reason I was upset or that they did something wrong.
The internet jumped on with plenty of thoughts.
s4febook wrote:
NTA. I don’t see how this is a prank and supposed to be funny, but maybe if she let this go on for 10 minutes, some would see the humour in it. But to let it go on for seemingly hours is ridiculous. And then to top it off - she didn’t even apologize.
It also seems strange to get the children involved, if it was their idea it would be one thing, but she recruited her children to play a “prank” that wasn’t even funny. This is a case of play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
And OP responded:
She still seems to feel it was amusing AF for me to stumble around all morning (also in a panic) and yes you are correct, it was hours. We got up around 8am, lunch was scheduled for 2pm. I stumbled around trying to find my glasses for about 5 hours before she told the kids to go retrieve them.
KronkLaSworda wrote:
NTA. You are almost literally blind without your glasses. SIL sat there and watched you struggle through breakfast and then hours afterwards and finally relented. She's cruel. Very cruel.
Time for you and DH to severely limit contact with her.
"an angry Whatsapp message... "someone" couldn't take a joke"
Your DH, not you, needs to respond very strongly and angrily about what she did.
Boomanchu1 wrote:
NTA but your SIL is. That isn’t a joke, it’s putting you at risk of getting hurt if. She’s a bully and should be apologizing!
blindgirlandguidedog wrote:
NTA. I’m blind, and use both a guide dog and a white cane. Before I got my dog I was working at a fast food place and a manager thought it’d be hilarious to hide my white cane (it’s a fold-up cane and I’d put it near the phone so it wouldn’t be in the way and I could find it).
I didn’t think it was funny and thankfully the store operator didn’t think it was funny either. The manager was suspended for two weeks and without prompting gave a genuine apology. Messing with people’s glasses, hearing aids, canes, really any medical device is not funny or is it okay to do. I’m glad your husband is on your side. I’d never go to her house again.
Notdoingitanymore wrote:
NTA. I would LOOOVVVEEEE to know how that’s funny. Can she explain it to alllll of us like we are in kindergarten?
Later OP came back with these edits:
Husband and I were travelling in different cars as we had set off from different locations and timings.
We went the night before so we wouldn't have to get up early and do the long drive first thing.
I'm not blind but the world is just a blur from about arms-length or less without glasses, so I can function, just not do anything useful and it's a PITA
Yes my husband looked for the glasses but I didn't do much in the morning because I just sort of sat and was bothered about how I'd go to the restaurant, how I'd get the car home etc. etc.
I wasn't going to be of any use in actually looking for them, for obvious reasons. We looked in the obvious places (which, to be fair, was next to the bed because they're the last thing I take off before turning out the light and it would be fucking weird for them to be in the kitchen or somewhere because how would I have got upstairs? Anyway.)
Later OP came back and answered these questions:
Husband and I were travelling in different cars as we had set off from different locations and timings. We went the night before so we wouldn't have to get up early and do the long drive first thing
I'm not blind but the world is just a blur from about arms-length or less without glasses, so I can function, just not do anything useful and it's a PITA
Yes my husband looked for the glasses but I didn't do much in the morning because I just sort of sat and was bothered about how I'd go to the restaurant, how I'd get the car home etc. etc. I wasn't going to be of any use in actually looking for them, for obvious reasons.
We looked in the obvious places (which, to be fair, was next to the bed because they're the last thing I take off before turning out the light and it would be fucking weird for them to be in the kitchen or somewhere because how would I have got upstairs? Anyway.)