Dying man gifts beloved dog to best friend who declines; 'he's a little sh*t.'
Losing a friend is horrible, and while we want to do everything we can for them... sometime a request is just too big.
A friend anticipating a loss came to Reddit's 'Am I the A-hole' forum to ask if he handled an extremely delicate correctly.
'AITA (Am I the A-hole) for not adopting my dying best friend's dog and buying a puppy from a breeder instead?'
u/SB_MACK writes:
My best friend is dying of cancer. He could pass away any moment.
Today, I was visiting and showed him a picture of the German Shepard puppy I just put a security deposit on. It will be ready to take home in 4 weeks.
I’ve always wanted a German Shepard puppy, so I was excited to show him the pictures—and I thought maybe the pictures would bring him at least a moment of joy—even if the moment was fleeting.
But instead of sharing my excitement, things became awkward. After a few minutes of awkwardness—I asked him what was wrong.
I was blindsided by his response. He said that his cousin, who was supposed to take his 2 year old Pug named “Horace” could no longer take him and I could save a lot of money by taking his dog.
I looked over at Horace and he looked backed at me. Well, he tried to look at me—but he’s got one wondering eye that pretty much is always looking towards the ceiling. I could feel his glare with his good eye though.
Horace is not a good dog. This is not me being an a-hole—this is simply me knowing Horace. He’s a little sh*t and on top of that—he sh*ts in the house and he tears stuff up.
He's always yapping. He’s always wanting something. He doesn't even know what he wants. He literally just wants to want something. Nonstop. He was never properly trained.
Overall, I’m not a fan of the “Pug” dog breed. Their faces look like it’s been hit with a shovel. They are always gasping for air with their eyes bulged out as if they are stranded without a space helmet in the Martian atmosphere.
I told my friend, “No thank you. But, I will try to help you find him a good home.”
“Really?” He says. “Are you f-ing kidding me? You’ve known Horace since he was a puppy.“
“I know, that’s why I don’t want him. He’s just—not a good dog.”
“Wow. You are such an a-hole.” My friend says.
So…am I?
What do you think? Was there better way OP could have handled this while still rejecting the offer? Or should he just have taken the damn dog?
Reddit offered a variety of opinions and advice. Which one do you agree with?
Purple_Routine1297 asks:
*blank stare* So, you’re under this impression that the German Shepard puppy you dropped money on isn’t going to shit in the house and tear up stuff?
SatansHRManager is inclined to agree:
Honestly. People have the dumbest expectations of getting puppies. Here's a dog that needs a home right in front of him. WTF?
But not Coffeesnobaroo:
People go to the pound often with specific ideas of the type of dog they’re looking for. If wise they research ahead of time the type of dog that will fit their lifestyle and whom they’ll enjoy for 15+ years.
Some people want active dogs they can hike with, some people want dogs that are good with kids, and some people want smaller breeds. There’s nothing wrong with being choosey on a family member when you’re able to be.
whynousernamelef says:
YTA not for saying no but for not approaching it with more compassion. I realise he caught you by surprise but he's probably really, really worried about horace's future.
You should tell him that your lifestyle is incompatible with horace's needs but that you will do everything that you can to help horace find a Person or persons who will love him in a way that you can't. Someone out there will adore him and as his best friend you can reassure him that you will look out for horace when he's gone. Make a dying man happy please.
bmyst70 feels strongly:
Bottom line: OP is not an AH for not taking a 2 year old untrained dog OP does not like or want.I know a woman who had several untrained dogs. When she had to move, the new owners (dogs went to a shelter) had their hands full retraining the dogs. And they loved and wanted the dogs. It's a LOT harder to untrain bad habits, particularly when you don't like the dog, than it is to teach new ones.
tipsykilljoy comments:
I’ve found that when someone puts me in an awkward position with a question like that, it’s ok to say: “I hadn’t considered that, I need to think about it, I’ll let you know in X time” and you agree on what is a reasonable timeline to make such a decision for both parties. It shows you’ve given it though, and gives you time to formulate a potential “no” compassionately.
I understand the time pressure with a dying friend but you’re still under no obligation to make a major decision with such pressure.
trashbinfluencer sees it differently:
I disagree - I think keeping the door open in instances where you know for sure your answer is 'no' just leads to frustration, loss of trust, & wasted time on both sides.
OP could have responded more compassionately, but I think they were right to immediately shut down the option while also offering to find help to locate a more appropriate home.