'AITA for making my girlfriend move out because she got a dog?'
"AITA for making my girlfriend move out because she got a dog?"
I am dating Em and a few weeks ago I asked her to move in to my house. Relationship was going well, living together was enjoyable until she decided to bring home a dog.
I like dogs, most of my family has dogs that take care of at their houses if needed, but I don't want a dog. I don't need to added responsibility because I have two jobs and go to school full time.
I don't like animal fur all over me things, and I don't like cleaning someone else excrements. I expressed this to Em well before she moved in she had no problem with it.
The other day I come home and find her with a dog I do not know, and to keep it short I'll say the gist of it was she thought I would like the surprise, and I told her that I do not.
She said she would take care of it, I said that is not true because when she goes to visit family she can't take it with her and there is no nearby kennel. I asked her to find it a new home and to have it out within a month.
I let the dog stay in the house because, again I love dogs and I'm not going to condemn it to being a stray, but exactly as I predicted I ended up have to care for it quite a bit while Em was at work or out with a friend.
I work a full time job, a part time job and am a full time student. When I relax I don't like having to entertain the dog, or let it outside, or feed it when all I wanna do is lie down and watch TV or read a book.
A month goes by and the dog is still here, I asked Em how the search for the home was going and said I can help if she needs me to. She said she never looked and assumed I would change my mind and referenced the 'Dad doesn't want a dog, one week later Dad love dog' meme.
I was irritated but just said that I won't be changing my mind and said she needs to find a new home for it within the next month.
This time she refused saying that it is her pet and she is not going to give it away. I can respect that, she loves the dog like any pet owner would, but I still dont want to keep taking care of it for her.
I said that she will have to move out. I didnt give an ultimatum, I just said that she had to go back to her parents' place. She lived there before she moved in with me and they have plenty of space for her and the dog. Over the next few weeks I helped her pack and move out.
We haven't actually broken up yet but it obviously coming. Honestly, I wouldn't mind continuing the relationship. Her having a dog is not an issue since it's not my responsibility, we would just have to have more conversations about respecting what the other says and not crossing boundaries, but that is a different issue all together.
Was I wrong for having her move out because of the dog?
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
NTA, it's not just about the dog anymore. It's about the disrespect, lack of communication and manipulation. She got the dog in your house without discussing it with you, leaving you to do a lot of extra work and lying about finding a home because she expected you to cave. She is not relationship material. What else will she lie about? Being on birth control? Because babies are sooooo cute. /s
I also effing hate that meme about “Dad loves dog now” - we got a dog because the kids begged for one, I was given all kinds of assurances I wouldn’t be the one to take care of it, and of course getting my kids to even walk it is like pulling teeth.
Now they want another dog - smaller, cuter - and so the “dad will like it” BS started coming in with veiled hints (or threats depending on your POV) about bringing one home as a surprise.
I ended up having to quash it all pretty firmly, and then had to suffer cold shoulders for a bit. Sorry, but fool me once and all of that…
Same situation at my house. I love dogs, but didn’t want another thing to take care of. Step daughter said she would take care of it. The only thing she does is (occasionally) walk the dog and that’s only when I pay her and threaten to shut off the wifi.
I am a business owner, college student, parent to a 7 and 14 year old, take care of the house, and now this dog. I have spent the most time with it. I feed it, train it, let it outside, and clean up its poop. Now stepdaughter is talking about wanting more pets. She doesn’t even take care of the lizard she has.
You are not wrong. She already knew where you stood and she decided to bring a dog home anyway. You gave her a reasonable amount of time to re home the dog. Not only did she not try to find a new home she dumped responsibility for the dog on you. She wanted to keep the dog so she needed to move to a place where that is acceptable