One man had finally had enough of his wife pampering their dog. He took to Reddit to ask for advice. His wife is unable to have children and he says she uses that to spoil their dog. It has gotten to the point where they are sacrificing their own small luxuries, like a dinner out, in order to make sure that they have enough money for their dog's weekly 'allowance.'
We got a dog a few years ago and training him was rough. He was already a full grown dog and had never lived inside. Anyway, we’d give him treats and encouragement and eventually he stopped being so wild inside and chewing things up and he now uses the bathroom outside etc.
Like I said, we already give him treats for doing good things or listening to commands etc. But in the midst of the initial training, my wife came up with the idea that we should give him a weekly “allowance” for being good and not having accidents, etc.
This was set at $25 a week. Obviously we didn’t give him the cash lol. Instead she’d take him to PetSmart and whatever he started sniffing or seemed to like she’d buy, or she’ll get him special treats beyond what we already have at home.
I thought it was silly then, but whatever, I was just happy when we’d go a week without pee on the carpet or a chewed up pillow. So I agreed. And it’s been this way for years. But now money is tight. We can’t really afford to $100 a month extra. Not only that but that money takes priority over our own “allowances.”
For instance, I wanted to go out to eat last week, but because I have to set aside $50 every pay check, my wife said we couldn’t go otherwise we wouldn’t be able to essentially pay our dog.
Not to mention going outside to potty or not chewing things up is second nature for him now. And it’s not like I don’t want to buy him stuff, but we are barely making ends meet at the moment. $50 a check is a big expense.
I brought this up with her last night and she got very upset that I would even suggest not rewarding him. That I was being selfish for wanting to spend the money on myself.
She does not believe the allowance is teaching him anything. It is just her way of doting on him. She knows that he is not associating it with good behavior. So it is not an attempt at teaching him anything. More of “he’s been good so we should do something good for him”
I told her we already buy him food, and treats, and he already has 30+ chew toys, and that he doesn’t need a bigger bone every week. He doesn’t need gourmet food all the time. None of this is even including relatively frequent dog spa visits.
She told me I shouldn’t have let her get the dog if I “didn’t want to take care of him.” But I do take care of him. We go on walks, play in the back yard, he has a whole room in our house with chew toys and a big bed.
My wife cannot have kids due to a medical issue that would put her at high risk and was devastated when she found out, as was I. But we also cannot afford to adopt or even have that desire right now to be honest.
Our dog I think was her way of coping with this and being a mother in some sense. So he is like her child. I love him too but she is attached to him in a way that is much deeper than what I would say is typical.
I think it is unfair to say I’m not taking care of him because I can’t afford to give him a luxurious lifestyle anymore, or that I’d like to go out to eat and have a little luxury myself every once in a while. But maybe I am wrong? AITA?
NTA. Your wife needs therapy. She is over compensating for not having a child, by focusing on spoiling the dog. Bottom line: you can’t afford anything EXTRA right now. Maybe that will change in a few weeks, but you can’t afford it.
If she wants to continue to spend $100/month on the dog, then she can sacrifice something else if it’s really that important to her. You are not neglecting the dog, he sounds cared for and in a loving home.
NTA. She can get a part time job if she would like to continue giving the dog an allowance.
… that might be the weirdest thing I’ve ever typed out.
NTA. This is the most white people post of all time.
NTA. I love my dogs but this is insane. Your dog can play with a stick you find outside. He doesn't need expensive treats every week, and he only needs healthy (not the most expensive) foods. Good grief.
NTA how can this be real? The concept of giving a dog an allowance is absurd. Dogs have no concept of time or money. He will have no idea if he is going to Petsmart once a week or once every 3 months, or whether he’s allowed to spend $10 or $25.