Found kitten caught in roommate custody battle over ownership; 'I named her' vs 'I paid for her.'
"AITA for wanting to keep the cat that I found and named?"
aitawantmycat
Back in the spring I (M24) and my roommate (M25) found an abandoned kitten. I crossed a ditch to save her and afterwards gave her a name (Phoebe) which stuck. Because of this I have always viewed her as my cat.
But here’s the problem; since my roommate already had another cat before we found this one he immediately assumed all of the care expenses. He’s paid every vet bill and taken her to every appointment, he buys all her food and litter and whatever else.
He’s never asked me to chip in which I just assumed was as a favor because my financial situation is less than stable. He also does most of the household care for the cats like maintaining the litter box and feeding them. However I play with them a lot more often than he does.
We’re going to be moving out of this place soon and going our separate ways l told him that I was intending to take Phoebe. He was immediately like “are you stupid?” and told me that there’s no chance of me taking the cat because I’ve never contributed to the care expenses (he’s never asked me to.)
I’m “too broke to take care of her future expenses” (but I could crowdfund it if I need to), the “place i’m planning to move is too small for a cat” (studio apartment but I plan to make her an indoor/outdoor cat instead of indoor only like she is now) and that she’d be depressed living with me because she’s bonded to my roommates older cat.
Which sounds like BS because she would just get over it. He accused me of not being responsible enough to care for a pet even though he’s fine letting me take care of them when he goes out or town.
I don’t think it’s stupid to assume that a cat that I saw first and gave a name to and play with all the time belongs to me. I could even pay back the expenses eventually when I have more income. I’m considering taking her with me when I move out regardless of what he has to say about it. AITA?
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
midwestyellowmoon
YTA. That's his cat. He's taken responsibility for it, you haven't. You only care for the cat's needs when he's out of town. HIS cat. And if you steal it, he could take you to court -- his name is on the vet bills, etc.
Swimming_Pea_4193
Oh, no. YTA, big time. That is your roommate's cat. You are the fun Aunt. Your roommate paid for all of the cat's expenses and did all of the care. In addition, the cat is bonded to another cat. You would be very cruel to split them up.
They do not just get over it. And making the cat an indoor/outdoor cat is dangerous to the cat and will greatly reduce her life span. Do not take the cat! She does not belong to you. The reason your roommate reacted in the way they did is because you are not being reasonable at all.
Next_Lime2798
Yes, YTA. You're not actually thinking about the welfare of the cat, but about yourself.
debo885
YTA. You sound like a spoilt kid. Nothing you have said shows that you can adequately take care of this cat on your own.
FragrantEconomist386
YTA. Just because you named the cat and play with her, that doesn't mean that she gets to be yours. The cat belongs to whoever took up responsibility for her. Your roommate did. Cats bonding is not BS, it is very real to them, btw. I really think you should rethink this. Your argumentation is rather childish.
Basilsainttsadface
YTA. Just because you named the cat and played with her. Doesn't make it yours. Ownership carries responsibilities, like taking it to the vet and buying her food. You've literally done nothing to show you're a responsible pet owner.
Your plan for taking care of her is to expect other people to give you money. Just because I gave my my girlfriend's car a name and drove it around doesn't mean I get to claim ownership of it.
Tella_Fone
YTA You haven't paid any of the expenses associated with the cat and by your own admission you can't afford to pay for food, litter or proper veterinarian care. Your plan to make the an indoor cat "indoor/outdoor" is irresponsible. And, your plans to crowd source the necessary funds to care of the cat are laughable, at best.
Always_travelin
NTA, depending on:
- Did you guilt or otherwise suggest to your roommate that he had to cover the initial expenses?
- Repeatedly remind him Phoebe was your cat and you would pay him back?
I assume if the kitty has been to a vet that she's fixed and chipped by now... is the chip in your now?
You WBTA if you just kind of stood by and let your roommate do everything a responsible cat owner should do.
Ok_Conversation9750
YTA. You are not in any position to care for the cat, and you haven’t contributed a cent to her care. And crowd funding?? Really?? That’s your solution?