Having a large friend group can be fun: big parties, different people to hang out with, and options to host friend events. Unfortunately, if someone has beef with another person in the group, it can ruin the entire group dynamic.
She writes:
My (24F) friend group consists of about ten people, give or take, a good mixture of men and women, varying in age from 24 to 37.
There's also this new girl (Ash- 27F) that we've been hanging out with; she hasn't been particularly kind to me, but she's friends with my friends. For example, she bartends at the place we frequent, and she won't even serve me while she serves everyone around me.
She ignores me so obviously/frequently that others have even noticed and pointed it out. I never understood why she was so mean, but I didn't take it too personally. I also catch her giving me death glares rather frequently.
This entitled b*tch took me aside so she could ask me questions about the guy she likes (J- 35M- one of my friends). From how she talked about them, I assumed she and J had been together for a minute.
She kept saying that she 'knows' about J and me, so I had to tell her that at one point, one of our other friends did try to hook J and me up (months prior), but things were so platonic that we hadn't even kissed so we began dating other people and were content being just friends. We're great friends, and he's one of my best friends.
Sometime after this conversation, though, she told J that she heard that J and I hooked up (we hadn't), and she caused drama surrounding our friendship that was secluded to him and her (presumably, since I hadn't heard about it until after everything unfolded) It turns out. However, she has that conversation with every pretty girl she sees talking to J.
But J has been telling everyone that nothing is going on with him, and Ash he's not interested. She has a crush on him.
Thursday, though, J asked me if I wanted to come with him while he went to the next state over in his semi. Why not? How many other chances will I have to ride in a semi to pick up potatoes? I have a friend that's requesting my company.
Cool! I brought my canvas and paint with me. During the drive, I shared a Snapchat with the friend group of my canvas and J inside the semi with the caption 'spud run.' Ash immediately sent a chat, then deleted it.
Then the girl known for causing a scene (and happened to be working with Ash at the time) sent a chat that read something like, 'What's going on? I'm going to get pissed if no one tells me. OP, are you with J right now? That sure looks like his truck.'
J sent a chat confirming that we were in the same place at the same time. Two different people told me it was wrong of me to hang out with J knowing that Ash had a crush on him. I told them both the same thing; Ash is not my friend, she has never been nice to me, and I am not obligated to tiptoe around her feelings.
Ash sent me four paragraphs worth of messages (talking 5,000+ characters/paragraph) telling me she's not the reason for this drama. She went on to say that she never said that she and J were a thing, 'rumors' go around, and she doesn't care that I've slept with J (I hadn't).
Then she said that she does care that I slept with her ex-boyfriend (still- I hadn't), she doesn't care to be friends with me because I'm not her favorite person (she repeated that 5×).
She said I could screenshot the messages and show whoever I want because the drama was not her intent with them and that it wasn't wrong of her to ignore me- but that I have to stop telling people she gives me death glares.
J and I did hook up, but I don't know if we would have had it not been put in our heads. After all, we spent about 24 hours bonding over the drama Ash created.
The internet is here to help.
DCAFlyGuy says:
Kind of sounds like you might need a more mature group of friends.
PinkPicklePants says:
I had to double-check her age to see she was 27 and not 14. Because this is how teenagers behave, not someone pushing 30. Reading about all this drama that she is starting is making me tired. I don't know why you put up with it.
CoderJoe1 says:
Trauma bonding?
Good on you for not caving to the desires of an entitled monster.