Woman mocks GF's signature dinner; says it 'tastes cheap.' AITA? RECIPE INCLUDED
A recipe for disaster.
One woman was very proud of her 'signature' dish. She said that friends fawned over it and that it takes a lot of love and work to make. She made it for her girlfriend one day and was shocked when she was basically told it was garbage.
Read the tale and see if you think this chef was overreacting or if her girlfriend was entitled to her opinion. We have also received a copy of the recipe and included it below, for any discerning foodies.
"AITA for making my girlfriend cheap lasagna?"
I (24F) make a delicious lasagna from scratch that takes hours and lots of money to make. It's so good that friends and family ask me to make it for them for birthdays instead of getting them a gift.
Last month I decided to make it for my girlfriend (23F); I spent a lot of money on the ingredients and then more than half of the day making the herb infused fresh pasta dough, the ragu, etc.
When she came over, she took a couple of bites and said that she didn't understand why I spent so much time and money on it because it tasted EXACTLY like the lasagna she would make with canned Panzani bolognese sauce and boxed pasta sheets (not similar, not kinda like, but EXACTLY like it).
My feelings were a lil hurt not gunna lie, but I understand that to each their tastes and I just told her I'm sorry she didn't like it that much and then kept it pushing and suggested we watch a movie.
Flashforward to yesterday, she was coming over for dinner and I asked her what she wanted to eat and she said 'lasagna'. So I popped over to the store and got panzani sauce and pasta sheets to make it because:
A)- She said my lasagna and the quick made one tasted the exact same, so no need to spend a lot on ingredients and
B)- Because even if I had wanted to make my recipe, I wouldn't have the time since it takes me an entire afternoon, which is why it's a special occasions thing.
So she showed up at my house, took one bite of the lasagna and then spat it out and said that it tastes different. When I told her I made it how she did, she got really upset at me and said that I wasn't putting in effort and that she was expecting to have a real meal and not something cheap.
I pointed out the comments she made last time, and she rolled her eyes and said she was clearly exaggerating. So then I got upset because what the hell?
The situation got brought up to our mutual friends, most have stayed out of it but two of them think I'm the a**hole because my gf clearly meant she wanted my 'special' lasagna which is why she asked for it as dinner, and that I should have let her know before hand that I was going to make one using premade sauce etc.
I think it was clear that that's what I was gonna do cause she literally asked for lasagna 2 hours before coming over, which is not enough time to make the 'special' one even if I wanted to. AITA ?
To clarify, the 'cheap' lasagna tasted just fine, pretty tasty even! Just not at all comparable to the original one, in my opinion.
Here is what people had to say:
Your lasagna just saved your life. It revealed your girlfriend for the petty, ungrateful person she really is. Now you can safely escape before you signed a lease, bought a car, got married or had kids. NTA, and praise be lasagna.
NTA. Boy you really can't win with her, can you? You make good lasagna, she complains, you make simple lasagna, she complains. That must be exhausting to figure out what she actually wants.
Marinara flags everywhere
There’s a difference between affectionate teasing and negging and it’s hard to explain until you’ve experienced both in a relationship. I think tone and subject matter are really important to distinguish the two. You don’t poke fun of a dish your partner worked hard on.
And if you verbalize that the joke hurt you and the response is any variation of “you’re being too sensitive” “I clearly didn’t mean it that way” “I’m sorry you took it like that”, there’s a 99.9999% chance it’s negging.
Bottom line, if it makes you feel criticized and like your partner is taking a shot at you rather than making you laugh and feel like your partner is laughing with you, it’s not affectionate, it’s not lighthearted, and you don’t need to put up with it.
The OP responded:
I just wanted to say thank you to you and another commenter because this is the first time I hear of the word negging and when I googled it, it described something that happens quite often in our relationship but I thought it was just affectionate teasing even though it would make me feel a bit weird about myself afterwards.
NTA. As an Italian-American, dissing a lovingly handmade lasagna is absolutely fighting words. She belittled your efforts (food is a LOVE LANGUAGE) and then has the balls to cry about not getting the same effort??? Nope. No one cooks on demand, especially when it goes unappreciated.
As an added treat, the OP shared her lasagna recipe so we can all decide for ourselves:
Had to write it down, but here you go :) Hope you enjoy it if you end up making it. DISCLAIMER: THIS IS NOT AN AUTHENTIC ITALIAN RECIPE! IT'S JUST DELICIOUS!
Ingredients for the dough: 200 grams flour, 100 grams semolina (I use the brand Semola di Grano Duro Rimacinata and find that it makes quite the difference), 3 eggs, 1 tbs olive oil, pinch of salt, fresh basil, thym, rosemary or parsley (you can use whichever herbs you prefer, doesn't have to be all of them at once, I usually do basilxthym)
Dough preparation: Grind the herbs in a mortar and pestle with coarse salt to make a paste, and add it as you mix your fresh dough. Knead it until everything is incorporated, and let it rest for an hour before using the pasta machine to make sheets.
Ingredients for the meat sauce: 250 grams ground beef, 250 grams ground pork, 250 grams mild italian sausage, and 250 grams Merguez sausage (Italians don't kill me plz).
1 yellow onion, 1 carrot, 1 celery stick, 4 garlic cloves, 1 glass of red wine, 800ml of passata, 2 tbs tomato concentrate, salt, pepper, chilli flakes, and spanish smoked paprika. I also add a bouquet garni made up of: Thyme,bay leaves, parsley, sage, rosemary, coriander, and oregano.
Meat Sauce Preparation: Cook all the meat in a dutch oven till it's brown and you have those crispy bits on the pan, add the mirepoix and crushed garlic cloves and cook till they soften, add a glass of red wine and cook till the alcohol evaporatew.
Make a little space in the middle of the pan and fry the tomato paste in that space then mix it with everything and add the passata, bouquet garni, and salt, pepper, chilli flakes and spanish smoked paprika to taste. Cover the pot and let simmer on very low heat for four hours ideally, check every once in a while and skim some of the oil that floats up.
Cheese sauce ingredients: 300 grams ricotta cheese, 100 grams whipped goat cheese (I make it by whipping 80 grams or so of goat cheese with one tbs cream cheese), 100 grams parmesan, an egg, 1 tbs of parsley or basil, salt and pepper.
Cheese sauce preparation: Just mix all of the above ingredients until it's creamy and incorporated.
Other ingredients for layering: 500 grams sliced mozzarella.
Assembling: So I do: meat sauce, pasta, mozarella, cheese sauce and repeat till you fill up your baking dish. I cook it in a oven preheated to 200C for 25/30 mins.