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'My BF and our friends played a fake cheating prank on me so I ghosted them. AITA?' UPDATED 2X

'My BF and our friends played a fake cheating prank on me so I ghosted them. AITA?' UPDATED 2X


"My boyfriend and our circle of friends pranked me on my birthday and I ghosted them because of it."

I (27M) met my (probably-soon-to-be-ex) boyfriend Aleks (29M) two years ago through a mutual friend of ours. I never expected he’d be interested in me because, when I first met him, he had only been with women. He came out as bisexual to me and our friends not too long after that, and that same night, he hinted that he was into me.

We got to know each other more and it eventually turned into the two of us dating. He's genuinely a sweet and awesome guy, quite introverted but has a big heart and a real geek about the things he likes. I thought he'd be the one I would be marrying and all that, but I'm thinking that's not going to happen anymore.

Last Monday was my birthday, and I went home early from work so that Aleks and I can go out and enjoy ourselves (I told him earlier that day that I would go home early). When I opened the door, I was greeted by him laying on our couch, while a woman I didn't know was on top of him (they were fully clothed btw). I was basically paralyzed and couldn't react at all.

He eventually saw me and had a surprised look on his face, but he also looked like he was trying to hold his laugh in. The woman also looked like she was about to laugh as well. I also started to hear chatter from the kitchen and in our bedroom. Aleks then shouted "You guys can come out!" and so our friends came out of our bedroom and kitchen, holding gifts, party poppers, and a cake.

I guess them shouting "It's a prank! Happy Birthday!" while turning the party poppers on snapped me back to reality because after they said that, I just quietly turned around and left. I didn't see their reactions when I did that, but I could hear them saying "Oh shit" and "Wait!" and some other things I can't remember. When I heard them try to follow me,

I hastened my pace until I reached my car and drove away. While driving, my phone started to get bombarded by texts, calls, and messages from my boyfriend and our friends. When it got too distracting, I just turned off my phone and went to a hotel that's far enough from my place. By the time I got to my hotel room, I just started sobbing on the floor. I think I blacked out from crying because when I woke up,

it was already sunny outside. I made sure to tell my team leader first that I would be absent for a few days due to an emergency, and she was kind enough to accept my request. She probably noticed something was off with me because I was sniffling and my voice sounded weak. Right now, I plan on telling my aunt who lives near my area about what happened and asking if I could live with her for a couple of days

until I sort out my mind and know what I have to do next. I'm deeply heartbroken because I've told my bf and my friends before how I felt about cheating and how it essentially ruined my family growing up and my young mind back then (my mom cheated on my dad and it broke our family, and I got cheated on by my 1st boyfriend), but at the same time,

I can't help but feel like I overreacted and that I should've just went with it all. I still don't plan on opening my phone, so I'm using my laptop right now to type this.

I don't know how to face and respond to them all after all that has happened. Maybe some time away from them will help, I hope.

Some top comments:

itsyaboi69_420 said:

Stuff like this is just mental. Why would anyone think that’s a funny prank? Especially your partner? Not only that, how could your partner tell other people that this was their plan and they also agreed that this would be funny?

Heart2001 said:

Oh you poor thing. A good prank should confuse, never abuse. The person being pranked should end up laughing as much as everyone else. This was not a prank. This was people that you trust taking your trauma and using it against you for their own amusement. You are NOT overreacting. Anyone who is willing to be so callous and cruel for a joke is not worth keeping in your life.

Taylor5 said:

So they know your stance on cheating and thought the best "prank" to pull would involve something that you hate, involving your bf and a girl, great plan. These friends sound great. They all know they screwed up the second you left and they went oh shit, but a thought like this should never have been considered, and the fact they thought this would be good idea on your birthday, the disrespect.

If I was you, I would be done completely, it's humiliating towards you for a prank, how will you react in future when they bring this up as a funny story, that's not funny. It's sh!t that your birthday was ruined. Go see your aunt and let her know the situation, you need a nice support system. How did not one friend say this isn't a good idea. Wtf

Verdict: NTA.

Update, one week later:

Hi there. I'm sorry it took me a while to post an update, I've been busy and I also got back to working 2 days ago so I don't really have that much free time on me anymore. But before I get started with the actual update, I would like to thank everyone who has given me their advices and wisdom, along with those who wished me well and a belated happy birthday.

You folks really made me feel happy even after all that has happened, I never thought internet strangers could be so kind (lol). Normally, I confide with my friends whenever I had a problem, but since they somehow became part of that problem, I thought maybe going here would be a good idea, and I guess it was. Truly, thank you to all of you.

Although, even if almost all of you had nothing but great advice and nice things to say, there were some who were skeptical or were even harsh, specifically in the way I just ghosted my boyfriend and everyone at that "surprise party".

Truth be told, I could've done something more mature as some would say, but really, in that moment, all I could think was remove myself from that situation because I wouldn't know what I would do if I fell back to my old self. Also, sorry for any typos, I wrote this all on my phone.

After I submitted my original post, I packed my things that night and prepared to go to my aunt's house, which wasn't that far but still a bit of a drive nonetheless. When I finally got there, she was incredibly welcoming and I thanked her for allowing me to stay in her house even just for a while.

She gave me a tight hug and told me I was always welcome and that she will be there to help me when I need her to. She eventually lead me to the spare bedroom that they have in their house and helped me unpack my stuff. She is honestly such an incredible woman and I love her so much, she's basically the mom I've always wanted.

Once I was done unpacking, I was again confronted by the fact that I haven't opened my phone for quite some time now. I've avoided it for so long that I didn't think I could open it again, but I knew I had to. The moment my phone booted up, hundreds upon hundreds of texts, chats, and missed calls popped up on my screen. Even if I was still hesitant, I decided to open my chats and looked at our friend

group's group chat first. The chats from the start were all very frantic in nature, with my friends asking about where I was or what happened. But after scrolling down a few more times, the chats turned into them apologizing that the prank happened and that it was not on the plan at all. One of my friends even blamed the girl that was on top of Aleks (my bf) and thought she was untrustworthy.

Finally, the chats ended up being them hoping they could contact me and wishing I was safe. I guess they knew I just read their chats because as soon as I was done backreading, my friends immediately knew I was online and asked how I was doing and where I was. They also started apologizing again for not being able to stop the prank from happening

and that they didn't know that was gonna happen and thought the original prank was going to be something else. At this point, I was thoroughly confused because they seemed happy enough to be there during that night, but I knew I had to apologize to them first for ghosting them and asking their side of the story first before speaking about what had happened:

Essentially, they were simply planning a surprise birthday party for me with Aleks in a group chat that didn't include me. Then, my bf added a few more people into the group chat, saying that they were college friends of his and he wanted them to be a part of the surprise party too since they also wanted to meet and get to know me better.

As a suggestion, one of my boyfriend's college friends pitched the idea of them pranking me. The plan was my bf is going to be on the couch with a "serial killer" holding a bloody knife and fake-stabbing my bf while the killer was on top of him and while my bf is bleeding everywhere. My bf's college friends thought it would be funny to see my reaction, although my friends were initially skeptical.

They reassured them that it would be harmless fun and that once my bf and the friend who'll be acting as the killer got their desired reaction on camera, they can just tell me that it was all a prank and my friends and my bf's other college friends would come out and surprise me with their gifts and stuff.

My friends eventually agreed so as long as they don't drag out the prank and immediately reveal everything once they captured my reaction on camera. The day of my birthday comes and everything they've planned seems to be going smoothly, with them waiting for me. My bf's college friends ushered everyone to hide while

they set up the prank, and when it was done, they would hide too. When they finally heard my bf say they can come out, they thought the prank was a success because I looked absolutely mortified, but they knew something was up when even after the prank was revealed, I was still looking shocked and almost teary-eyed even, until I finally turned around and left.

They were understandably shook and confused, thinking the serial killer prank was too much, but knowing me, I wouldn't have minded it at all since I love scary movies and an avid horror enjoyer. That was then they realized that my bf's female college friend was on top of my bf, not wearing any serial killer costume and not holding any fake bloody knife.

They then saw my bf pushing his female college friend away from him and chasing after me. Some of them also tried to follow me, while some were asking what happened to the original plan. Even my bf's other college friends were wondering why their female friend wasn't in costume, but she was just silent. After a few minutes, my bf came back to our apartment looking distraught and crying.

He then tells everyone that they should all go and proceeds to go to our bedroom. They wanted to ask him what happened but he shut the door before they could. His female college friend then followed him inside which really weirded them out, but after a while, they hear my bf shouting at her, telling her to fuck off. She then goes out the door on the verge of tears and leaves the apartment.

They said everything happened so fast that they didn't know how to process all that has happened. Not too long after that though, they realized that I was missing and started calling and texting me, but I didn't respond to any of them. Eventually, I was unreachable (I turned off my phone) and decided they should just go home and wait for me to respond.

My bf's college friends apologized profusely to what has happened and didn't mean for any of this to happen, but they basically just ignored them. They then followed their retelling of their side with videos that they've recoded that proved their accounts, along with an apology and wishing that I was doing well.

After my friends told me what happened on their point-of-view, I felt really terrible and apologized again for ghosting them and telling them that everything that happened was none of their fault. I told them that I would make it up to them soon, but they reassured me that they accept my apology and are just happy that I'm alive and well.

They also pitched to have a late birthday celebration with me this weekend, and my boyfriend and his friends aren't included this time. I of course happily agreed and thanked them for being such great friends and that I really couldn't thank them enough for being such an awesome bunch of people.

The morning of the next day, my aunt knocks on my door and wakes me up, telling me that I have a visitor downstairs. She looked a bit mad, so I can already tell who it was. It was my boyfriend Aleks, carrying this beautiful bouquet of flowers and my favorite chocolates with him. Even if he looked amazing, his face was the complete opposite because he looked like he was crying for days.

I asked him how he found out about where I was and told me that once I turned on my phone again, an app on my phone that we both have notified him of my whereabouts (it's basically an app that allows you and your trusted friends to share your locations in real-time as long as you have an internet connection and your locations is on).

I was a bit frustrated that he actually came here to my aunt's house, but nevertheless, he was already there, so might as well just hear him out on what he had to say. He basically reiterated what my friends told me, but he added in some more details that my friends didn't know about. Apparently, his old college friends reconnected with him after he lost touch with them after they graduated.

They found his Facebook account through some searching and wanted to ask him about his life after all these years. They were especially happy when he told them that he currently has a boyfriend because they secretly knew he was bisexual but didn't want to make assumptions or make him feel weird about it.

Aleks eventually tells them about me, and he mentions that him and our friends are planning a secret birthday surprise for me and they immediately wanted to be a part of it. After they were added to the group chat, they started suggesting ideas on how to make the surprise much more fun, until their female friend, we'll call her Anna, suggested that they do a prank to surprise me.

Aleks's college friends were immediately on board because they saw TikToks of it and they thought it was really funny, but my friends were obviously skeptical. Eventually, they agreed what the prank is going to be and that the prank wouldn't take too long. Anna volunteered to be the "serial killer" since it was her idea,

and they all went and did their parts of the surprise so that everything would be ready when my birthday comes. The day of the surprise party comes, and everyone prepares for my arrival. When Anna and Aleks went into their assigned positions for the prank, he wondered why she still wasn't in her costume and that her props was missing, but all she could reply was that she forgot.

Aleks offers to find the costume and props but Anna insists that there's no more time and that I was going to arrive soon. Aleks at this point was extremely uncomfortable and wanted to get out of their position, but before he could do it, I've already opened the door and saw them.

He admits that he fucked up by laughing a bit at my reaction because it was exactly the reaction he thought I was going to make but immediately realized what it looked like and called everyone to come out to save himself from the embarrassment and give context to what I was seeing.

When he realized that that didn't work, he forcefully pushed Anna away to chase after me, but he wasn't able to keep up once I got into my car. It then sunk into him that he fucked up big time and that when I drove away, that's when he remembered my trauma about cheating, which made him cry while returning to our apartment. He tells everyone to leave and retreats to our bedroom, not really knowing what to do.

To his shock, Anna comes inside our room unannounced and starts comforting Aleks. He repeatedly tells her to leave and that he'll be fine, but what really set him off was Anna asking him "So, does that mean you're single now?". That's when he realized she did it on purpose. Aleks then shouts at her and angrily asks her to leave, which she then complies to after looking like she just embarrassed herself.

Aleks is in tears at this point, and he tells me that he wishes he just didn't agree with the prank. He's cut off contact with his college friends for now, and is incredibly sorry about what happened. He then starts hugging me really tightly and says that he loves me so much and that he's scared of losing me. His words alone also made me cry because even after everything,

I still love him deeply and I do believe everything he's said. After a minute or two of us hugging and crying, he lets go of me and tells me that we should back together to our apartment, but that if I still need time and space, he'll gladly give it to me. I gave him a kiss and and respond to him with me asking him to help me pack my stuff.

Of course, I gave my aunt the warmest of hugs and told her how much I appreciated her for helping me. She was happy things got resolved, but also jokingly threatened my boyfriend that if he did something stupid or hurtful to me again, she'll personally whisk me away to safety and away from him. My boyfriend laughed but I think he was just hiding his nervousness.

Now, I'm back in our apartment, and Aleks even offered to throw away the couch that was used for thee "prank", but I declined since it's a pretty nice couch and everything that has happened was something no one wanted (aside Anna probably). I've already made amends with my boyfriend and we've both forgiven each other, and my friends are happy that things worked out in the end

(Aleks is probably now invited to the weekend party but I've yet to ask them haha). Don't worry, I'm also going to get in touch with my therapist soon and book new appointments with her per the suggestion of my aunt. This has all taken a toll on me but I'm glad to have the support of my bf, my friends, and everyone who has read my post and shared their support to me.

Also, I realize that this update is probably not what most of you wanted to happen, and as much as I was close to just giving it all up, I never had a reason to in the end and I'm glad I got to hear their sides out before making any huge decisions that I might end up regret later, and I do trust my bf and my friends since they all sounded sincere and they did have proofs to back them up.

I think this is going to be my last update since everything seems to have been resolved at this point, but I'll try to make an update if ever something happens, but I hope that's not going to be the case. Once again, thank you everyone <3

Final Update:

This is definitely my last update about this mess because quite frankly I'm tired of all of this. But before I start this update, I would like to say sorry to everyone who thought my previous update was too long, I guess I was just overcome with "joy" (I feel stupid about it now) talking about what happened that I didn't get to edit it much, but don't worry, this update won't be as long.

And thank you to everyone who had nothing but kind words, I really appreciate you all. So, a few days after my previous update, Aleks (my now ex-bf) came up to me while sobbing and confessed that he hasn't told me the complete truth about Anna. Apparently, him and Anna were a couple back then, she was his first girlfriend and he did a lot of his firsts with her (first kiss, first date, first sex, etc.).

Once they graduated, Anna broke things off with him because she can't handle long-distance relationships and didn't want to be tied down yet. Anna breaking up with him caused him to go into a spiral and develop severe depression, along with self-harming tendencies (something he still goes to therapy for).

It took a lot of work for him to get out of that hole and be a functioning human adult again, but things apparently didn't completely change for the better for him until he met me. As I quote, I was "the light at the end of the tunnel" that he desperately wanted to get out of. But, I guess ghosts from the past have their way of coming back to haunt you.

A few weeks before my birthday, Aleks's college friends found his Facebook and contacted him to reconnect. Things went well for them until he was added into their group chat that had Anna in it as well. As what he said, it definitely reignited some old feelings that he had and it also didn't help that Anna was acting like nothing bad happened between the two of them.

They agreed to meet to catch up, one thing lead to another, until that one thing ended up being them having sex every day up until the birthday "surprise" lol. It only really hit him how much he fucked up and realized that he was doing something incredibly shitty when he saw my devastated face after seeing Anna on top of him for the "prank" that they supposedly planned for me.

According to him, he was trying to bring back those strong feelings and emotions that he once felt back when he was with Anna, but seeing me look ruined and distraught made him realize that what he had with me was incomparable to what him and Anna had, so I guess that's what lead him to confess and be all remorseful.

Of course, I had to hear him apologize and cry in front of me, and I did cry too, but I couldn't bear being around him anymore after hearing all of that. I then calmly told him that I accept his apology, but that I didn't want to be with him anymore and that I'd be leaving the apartment and sort things out once we're both in clearer states of mind.

He didn't like that one bit and started sobbing like crazy and even went as far as hugging me incredibly tight just so that I wouldn't go. It was a struggle but I eventually got out of his clutches by pushing him away hard enough. I ran as fast as I could (ironic) to get to my car and immediately headed to my aunt's house. When I got there, I just sobbed into my aunt's arms and felt incredibly weak.

She probably understood why I was crying that much without asking me why, so she started consoling me until I was too tired to cry and slept. Yesterday, I got a call from a friend of Aleks that he's in the hospital after being found unresponsive and full of cuts on his arms. I didn't want to go because I'm obviously still hurt about everything,

but Aleks doesn't have any family anywhere near him and I'm the only one who knows about his medical history and details (and technically his closest family) so I had to. When I got there, his arms were full of bandages and his face looked all puffy and red. Right now, I'm outside his hospital room, waiting for his doctors to give me an update or tell me anything or something that I should do.

He also hasn't woken up yet so I'm bracing myself for when he does. Truthfully, I do still love him very much, but what he did just made it clear for me that we're not meant to be together. I don't know what I'll do moving forward after all of this, but I'll just let the universe take the wheel for me at this point. I just wish things didn't end up this way.

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