Pregnant woman asks if she was wrong to make BF sleep in car because he forgot burger.
'AITA for crying and asking my boyfriend to leave over a burger?'
I (21F) recently found out I’m pregnant (woo!), and am getting to the 6 month mark. It’s a complicated pregnancy and I’m exhausted.
My boyfriend (28) moved in with me because of it. It wasn’t expected, but we’re making do. I’m training to be a teacher and he’s currently looking for employment. Technically I’m working two jobs to support the both of us and it’s tiring, but he’s looking so it’s not over that.
There’s a burger from a local burger place I’d been wanting. We rarely go, but I’ve been having cravings - they shut at a certain time. He agreed to it. He agreed to ordering since they only have one veggie burger I like, it’s not as though there’s multiple things I can have.
They shut at 9, I got home at 840 and he hadn’t ordered, and by the time he went it was too late. I started crying because I’ve been craving this all week, and all I wanted was a burger and a hot shower. AND I couldn’t even have a shower since he used the last of the hot water.
He didn’t apologise, but offered to go Burger King, which I didn’t want. He got all silent claiming I’m being an AH since he’s been job hunting all day. As I see it my day started at 6am and ended when I got in bed at 9:30. His day started at 9am and ended at 9:30, but I’ve got the extra weight of pregnancy.
We got into an argument about how we’re comparing days and that he’s overwhelmed. I asked him to leave, because I don’t like arguing, and he had to stay in his car since he moved in with me (away from friends)
He argued that I’m blowing things out of proportion because I’m pregnant, and not considering his feelings, because he’s overwhelmed. So am I? My friends say I’m the AH because he’s probably in over his head, and had to sleep in his car over a burger. AITA?
I said woo to be sarcastic. I’m not excited to be pregnant, but I do love the baby already.
Comments:
StuffonBookshelfs says:
INFO: What does he bring to this partnership? Other than sperm?
Ready-Significance13 OP responded:
We have good moments, but it was very rushed (having only been together 5 months before pregnancy) so we’re still discovering everything.
EmpressJainaSolo says:
OP, you were only dating for five months when you became pregnant. You’ve been pregnant in this relationship longer than not pregnant.
How quickly did he move in? How long has he been without a job? And how was moving in with you while you were pregnant helping you? Because all these things combined make him sound like a man in his late twenties who intentionally latched on to you so he wouldn’t have to take care of himself.
Ready-Significance13 OP says:
He bought up moving in with me a week after we found out we’re pregnant, moved in a month into the pregnancy…he offered to support me by doing housework and when he found a job we’d split bills.
I saw the red flags, but not having the baby wasn’t a choice for me and I didn’t want to be alone.
GlassSandwich9315 says:
ESH. I think he should've gotten you the food or at least apologized when he forgot. I think you have a reason to be upset. But this is, at most, rises to the level of making him sleep on the couch, not kicking him out of the house/apartment.
As a side note, having a kid with this guy doesn't mean you have to be in a relationship with him. Neither of you seem to be too enthusiastic about that part. Maybe you two should sit down, talk it over, and consider not being together, just co-parenting.
Ready-Significance13 OP responded:
My parents would disown me, and his family are saying “now is the perfect time to settle and grow up.”
ghOstlyNyte says:
Does he ever talk about his job hunt or where he’s applied? Asking him about it doesn’t mean you’re doubting him.
No, he gets stressed if I ask and says he’ll say when there’s anything to say.
Dangerous_Mail1939 says:
NTA. Sounds like he’s being picky about what kind of job he wants (because literally everywhere is hiring especially fast food) OR he only pretends to be job hunting for 12 hours a day. I mean, with 12 hours, I could probably apply to hundreds of jobs. It doesn’t mean that I’m qualified to work those jobs but at least he’d be trying.
In all this time he has been “job hunting” how many interviews has he had? It sounds like he’d rather free load off of you than actually go and get a job. He’s gonna have a rude awakening when this baby comes and he has to help out.
Ready-Significance13 OP responded:
He’s very picky; my mother has a friend who offered an interview for a care home and he wouldn’t, his friend is saying he shouldn’t settle for a job our child wouldn’t be proud of…although said friend is also the one who said I don’t want him to do chores that much because I didn’t leave him a list.
Paranoia_Pizza says:
Info - is this the first time he's let you down like this?
Ready-Significance13 OP responded:
It’s always small things like using the last of the hot water, or insisting on talking to me while I’m using the loo when he knows I hate that, or finishing the OJ and not replacing it, or not emptying the washing machine or cooking when he offers to.
Right_Bee_9809 says:
When you said that you got pregnant and he moved in, I assumed that that was to help you and kiddie to start a family. Apparently not the case at all.
I'm going to be very harsh here. He has to stop talking about finding a job and find a goddamn job. You have to stop working two jobs to help support him. Your job is to support that baby not him. Actually that's his job as well.
You may notice I have not discussed the burger and that's because it's irrelevant. You are NTA but you need to take several steps back and evaluate your options.