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Woman won't cater to high-risk pregnant SIL; gets annoyed by her food requests. AITA?

Woman won't cater to high-risk pregnant SIL; gets annoyed by her food requests. AITA?


How far should a person go to accommodate their in-law family? One woman reached her breaking point when her rent-free living, pregnant SIL asked for too many favors.

u/Dinnertime78 felt she was justified but she went to Reddit for support. She asked:

'AITA for telling my SIL we weren't going to cater to her just because she is pregnant?'

My SIL is 6 months pregnant and is high-risk. Because of that she's unable to work so she couldn't keep her apartment. The father isn't in the picture, so she moved in with us. She and I have never had the best relationship, but I put that aside because my husband wanted to help her.

We are not charging her rent or anything, as she has very little money. We are buying all the groceries and I do a lot of cooking.

Here is where the issue is. We live a pretty healthy lifestyle and I don't like a lot of junk food in the house as we want the kids to have healthier options, so I don't buy a ton. We aren't super strict or anything, but we will have a thing of ice cream for a week or so, and then next trip we might get a box of brownie mix or a bag of candy.

SIL has been requesting candy, ice cream, chips, pizza rolls, basically all junk food constantly because she has cravings. Now, we aren't exactly rich, so I don't really want to be spending money on food that no one but her would eat, and I don't want to deal with the kids constantly asking why Nan can have ice cream for breakfast or pizza rolls for dinner.

She has also been asking me to cook different meals as certain things make her not feel well. I totally get the nausea, but making meals that both of my kids will eat without complaint is hard enough.

Last night she complained again that I don't keep anything she can eat in the house, didn't want any of the food I made, and later when we didn't have ice cream she asked me if I would go get her something from the store or DQ.

I got a little short with her and flat out told her that we are fine helping her, but we aren't her kids father and we aren't just going to cater to her because she is knocked up. She cried, husband feels stuck in the middle

Did OP find the support she was looking for?

Reddit seemed (mostly) on her side but a few users stuck up for SIL:

dontwannadoittoday writes:

NTA (not the a-hole). You’re going above and beyond in allowing her to live in your home and provide quality shelter and food for her. Cravings are not necessities- they are wants. She’s in a situation where, pure and simple, she didn’t prepare herself to get all of her wants. Your comment was not out of line. She’s not the first pregnant person ever and her failure to plan is not your problem to solve.

dontwannadoittoday replied to her comment to add:

Remind her that no one ever died from not satisfying a craving.

Formal_Air1697 took the 'teach a person to fish' approach:

NTA. She's living in your house without contributing. She needs to stop being a choosing beggar. Also, just going to be a big meany and say it: If you cater to her then that gives her less incentive to start planning how she will manage to eventually get out of your house and on her own two feet once the baby is born.

Traveling-Techie says:

If your husband thinks he’s stuck in the middle he’s got his head on a dark place. NTA.

One user took SIL's side:

german_karma95 writes:

So you have a high risk pregnant woman in the house... and your spoiled brats can't even keep it together long enough at dinner to eat something that's maybe not their favorite? You and your kids are AH (a-holes).

But OP shot back:

I do have the option of just not feeding her. My kids eating is my priority, not her.

Although some took SIL's side it seems Reddit certified this one NTA (not the a-hole).

OP may have said some mean things but Reddit users seemed to understand her point of view. They did not think SIL had the right to ask for so much.

Sources: Reddit
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