I (f30) had my son 2 weeks ago. I gave birth at a private hospital and my husband requested to take a video of our son being born and I refused because it involved my privacy but then agreed after he said he wanted to keep it as a memory for us as a family.
Last night we were visiting my ILs and I caught a glimpse of the video in my SILs phone. My throat closed up from the shock. the video was muted. I asked if my husband sent her this video. She said yes. matter of fact, he shared it with the whole family.
I couldn't bear it I just walked into the kitchen where he was sitting playing a board game with his dad and blew up at him. I asked how could he do this to me and he played dumb for a minute. I mentioned the video and how he shared what is considered a private content with his family without even getting my consent.
He acted like it was big deal but I kept scolding him about it. He yelled back saying that this was not about me and that his family deserved to witness our son's first moments in his life. His mom came in asking what was the commotion about and his dad offered to get everyone to delete the video as a solution.
His mom sided with him and agreed it was about their grandbaby's first moments. I felt so overwhelmed I decided to leave.
He came home later saying that I made him look small when I started yelling and scolding him in front of his family. He insisted it wasn't about me.....and that he shared a video of the baby. he didn't get how I took it as in he invaded my privacy and disrespected me in any way.
I refused to speak to him after that and he is still acting hurt that I treated him poorly in front of his parents when I could've talked to him about it privately.
The reason I feel bad for my reaction is because his family always been good to me. They never say anything negative about me but still I don't find it in me to be okay with this.
From the comments:
NTA. Yeah, this is a common tactic husbands pull. They get off on the power of having in their possession a video that shows their wife in a most vulnerable and exposed state. And they always use it against their wife. Whether it be by publishing it on the internet on porn platforms or showing it to everyone against their wife's consent.
NTA, this would have been divorce worthy for me.
NTA huge breach of trust, he broke his promise... and this is just the surface. He lied, he tried gaslighting, guilt trip you into this bulls**t, so red flags all over the place.
Frankly he doesn't give a fudge because he doesn't care and doesn't respect you and your decision. This is so wrong on so many levels. Pretty sure its illegal as well without your consent.