I'm m33, and my parents are deceased. I have a younger sister f25 who's married and is expecting. I'm also married but don't have kids due to health issues on both sides.
I'd visit and check on my sister from time to time. I'm not on great terms with her husband m31 but we're civil to each other. she started calling asking for my help more often since she got pregnant I have no issue with this but BIL thinks I'm being 'too involved' in my sister and the baby's life.
Last week, I got a call from my sister asking if I could take her to the dr. Office. It was a gender reveal appointment I asked why her husband didn't take her and she explained he was supposed to drive her but he had to attend his mom's birthday and asked her to reschedule but she refused.
I took her to the appointment, but BIL called and was furious saying I shouldn't have gotten involved because now I'd caused him a precious moment in finding out if he was going to have a girl or a boy.
Basically saying that I took this experience away from him and called me weird for being too involved in my sister's marriage and sticking my nose in it to the point where I was making the doctor think I was her husband.
I told him the reason the doctor thought I was her husband was because of his absence and lack of commitment as a father. He blew up at me and I hung up on him. My wife said she gets that I wanna help my sister out but said that I might have gone too far and should've respected BILs boundaries.
I maybe the asshole for taking her there which was against her husband's approval instead of stay out of their issues.
Here's what people said in the comments:
kochanie2013 says:
I'm concerned less over the gender part...I would assume that this was the 20 week(give or take) scan. This is often where they find issues with the baby. The gender reveal is just icing.
Serious-Currency108 says:
NTA. You are only helping when asked. If the BIL was so pissed off about taking away the experience of finding out the sex of the baby, maybe he should have gone to the appointment in the first place.
idgafemp says:
NTA. BIL is weird. Clearly, OP's sister wants to be supported and have someone with her and if he isn’t going to do it then he shouldn’t be upset when she finds someone else who will. Especially her brother, if he doesn’t want to miss these special moments he shouldn’t.
Serious-Currency108 says:
NTA. You are only helping when asked. If the BIL was so pissed off about taking away the experience of finding out the sex of the baby, maybe he should have gone to the appointment in the first place.