Pregnant woman tells fiance to skip niece's graduation hours away, 'I'll be 37 weeks.'

Everyone has different things they feel comfortable doing while pregnant. Some are traveling and working right up until the water breaks (even if the doctor opposes it), while others have hard lines around what feels safe and doable.

Generally, if you're partnered with a pregnant person, it's best to follow their lead.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she's wrong for telling her fiance he should skip his niece's graduation because of how far along she is.

She wrote:

AITA I'm heavily pregnant and my fiance wants to go to his niece's graduation?

So I'm currently 34 weeks pregnant with our first baby. My fiance's niece has her college graduation ceremony coming up in a couple of weeks. She invited both of us, but I said I can't really go in my condition. It's a few hours drive away, so we would have to stay overnight at least.

My fiance is saying he needs to go even if I don't, to support her because she asked us. I said we can send her a gift, but it's better if he stays with me since I'm near the end of the pregnancy. We've been going back and forth/argued on this, and he said I wasn't being understanding. AITA?

Edit: I mentioned this in a comment and thought I'd edit it in. It's a 5-6 hour drive, and I'll be close to 37 weeks by then.

People were pregnant with opinions.

pineboxwaiting wrote:

NTA it’s unlikely that you’ll give birth at 36 weeks - but not impossible! Ask your fiancé what his plan is if you go into labor while he’s away, and ask him how he’ll feel if he misses the birth of his first child bc he’s stuck in graduation traffic. After that, he gets to make his own decision. Make sure you have a backup partner for the night he’s gone.

DubBrit had a clarifying question:

You’re NTA. You’re currently 34 weeks, graduation is in 2 weeks, would require a stay over. Average length of pregnancy is 40 weeks, and 4 week early births aren’t unheard of. More info needed to determine if he’s an AH: is the niece otherwise unsupported? Will she have other family there?

And OP responded:

Yep her grandparents (fiance's parents) are going. I'm pretty sure she has family members from her dad's mom's side going as well.

Edit: just realized I made a mistake, I meant I'm sure she has family members from her mom's side going as well. Her dad was my fiance's brother.

Hellie-ReputationIcy wrote:

If you will end up being all alone, then NTA. It's your first child and you need someone to attend to you when your water broke. Some may say, there's a low chance of you giving birth - but still, there's a small chance that you will. Ask him what he will do if you suddenly gave birth while he's gone. Think of a solution whatever he will answer.

And you said 'fiancé'. If my partner do this to me, I will definitely keep him as a bf, not a husband. You're clearly not one of his top priorities, even you're vulnerable. Just something to think about.

snowbirds-go-home wrote:

NTA. I wouldn't want to go into labor in a totally unfamiliar location HOURS away from home. All of my major laboring for my 2 kids was done at home, with all my comforts, in my own way. I would NEVER want to labor more than a few minutes in a car!! (Yes I'm lucky enough to live within a 5- 15 minute drive to my hospital of choice.

But labor sucks already, why add to your discomfort? You have been creating a whole human for the last 10 months (yes it's said to be 9 but come on, 40 weeks is 10 months), you deserve every comfort you desire at this point.

This is a rare situation where no one thinks OP is TA, but a lot of people think her husband isn't either - it's just a matter of personal judgment around the timing.