Pregnant woman asks if it's OK to stop husband from going to bachelor party 2 weeks before due date.

A pregnant woman who wants her husband to miss his best friend's bachelor party because it's two weeks before her due date has shared her story on Reddit.She explains that the bachelor party, a two-day golfing event, will be a two-hour drive away, and that her husband has a bad track record of not responding to calls and texts when he's away with his friends. He also apparently smokes a lot of weed.She says she was willing to "compromise" by letting her husband go to the bachelor party if he would be willing to stay sober and keep his phone charged in case she goes in to labor early.But her husband didn't accept this compromise and got angry with her for suggesting it. Yikes. So she asked Reddit whether he is the a**hole in the situation, or she is. I think you can guess whose side people took in this debate, and no, it's not the one who prioritized golfing with his buddies over his heavily pregnant wife's happiness and well-being.She writes: My husband’s best friend got engaged, and my husband is in the wedding party. He is not the best man, but is doing most of the planning for the bachelor party. In his friend group, they usually do a golf weekend. Also, this is likely the last bachelor party in the group as the rest of the guys are already married. The woman says she originally told her husband she didn't want him to go so she wouldn't have to be suck watching their 2-year-old by herself in her third trimester.But she says truthfully she doesn't want him to leave so close to her due date. However, we have a 2 year old and I’m currently pregnant with our second child and due on August 25th. When he started planning the bachelor party, I told him that planning something earlier in the summer would give him a higher chance of going for the full weekend. I originally framed it as not wanting to be stuck watching our toddler by myself for a full weekend in my third trimester while he’s out golfing, which was a mistake. I should have framed it as not wanting him to go away for a weekend so close to my due date. The woman will be 38 weeks pregnant the weekend of the bachelor party, which is about two weeks before her due date. The party will take place about a two hour drive away. And she says in the past, her husband has been "terrible" about staying in touch when he's away with his friends.Sounds like a real "winner" this guy. SMDH. They finally picked a date for the bachelor weekend. It’s August 8th - so I’ll be almost 38 weeks pregnant and considered full term (technically I’ll be 38 weeks the day he plans to get back.). So it’s about two weeks before my actual due date. The bachelor party will be in about two hours away (without traffic). On previously golf weekends, he has been terrible about keeping his phone charged and it can be hard to get in touch with him. Also, while he doesn’t drink, he does smoke pot, and would most likely be smoking the whole weekend. Her husband claims that if he's willing to get someone to help with their toddler, it's "fine" for him to go for the full weekend. But his pregnant wife says this makes her "incredibly nervous."She said she would be willing to compromise by letting him go, as long as he goes for only one night, keeps his phone on and charged, and stays sober in case she goes in to labor. He thought this was an "unreasonable" compromise. He thinks that as long as he gets someone to watch our toddler while he’s gone, it’s fine to go for the full weekend (2-3 nights). This makes me incredibly nervous. I am willing to compromise and agree to an overnight plus a day of golf. I would also want him to keep his phone on and charged at all times, and ask that he stay sober in case I go into labor. He seemed to think this is an unreasonable compromise when I initially brought it up. Since then, he is unwilling to discuss it until they have finalized the plans for the weekend. I’m of the mindset that there are very few times in our marriage where my needs/wants/desires take priority over his, but that this is one of them. So, naturally, she did what all couples do in times of marital strife: she posted about it on Reddit. Turning to strangers on the internet, she asks: So, Reddit, am I the asshole for not wanting him to go to a bachelor party for 2-3 nights so close to my due date? She added a few updates, explaining her husband's side of the story. Apparently he thinks going on a two-day golfing weekend with his friends is akin to a "long business call" at work.She says the argument made her emotional, and she was the "one to walk away first," which is pretty understandable since she's nine months pregnant. And her husband is being a d*ck. Update: I tried to talk to my husband about the bachelor party, and specifically asked how they arrived at that weekend. My husband said the only requirement was that every groomsman be able to attend, and that he threw out two dates (one in July, and the one two weeks before my due date). The July date didn't work for some of the groomsmen, so he picked the August date. Those were the only two weekends discussed, and he apparently picked both. His argument is that if I went into labor when he was at work and happened to be on a long call, it could take him over 2 hours to get home, so why is it not okay to plan a trip that would take him the same distance away? I tried to explain that there's a difference between work (where, if can't get home, it's because someone is seriously injured or something is burning down) and a bachelor party. He doesn't see it that way and just wants to be there for his friend. In his head the due date is August 25th, and there is no chance that the baby could possibly come 2 weeks early. We didn't get a chance to discuss duration of the weekend or the possibility of not smoking before the conversation dissolved. He got pissed when I brought that he has a poor track record at keeping in touch during these things, although he was pretty angry throughout the whole conversation TBH. I tried to remain calm throughout the conversation, but I did cry and I was the one to walk away first. After work today, I'm getting my son and we're going to stay with my parents. She said she plans to pick up her son and go stay with her parents. It's unclear if this is for the duration of his trip, or permanently.Either way, the majority of Reddit commenters are taking the pregnant woman's side, THANK GAWD, and calling her husband the a**hole for being unwilling to compromise.mellie-ak writes: Doctors can guess but are frequently wrong. Lots of women are told they’ll have their baby “any day now” at 36 weeks and go overdue. Or told there’s no way the baby is coming yet and go into labor within a week. Two hours away is unlikely to be a huge deal but if he’s drinking and has to sober up first or if she has precipitous labor, he could miss the birth entirely. Second babies often come faster too. Personally, I wouldn’t be willing to risk that. AndDriyrckktrsewwvhi says: Husband already stated that he thought keeping his phone charged and staying sober was an unreasonable compromise. He is the a**hole. And invidiaaquitane says: NTA. The comments here are just so, so frustrating. Yes, OP's husband will have to make the immense sacrifice of staying sober at a Bachelor party. Woe is him, how could he possibly survive? I am assuming that both parties made the decision to have another kid. In making that decision, OP has sacrificed 9 months of alcohol, getting high at parties, eating what she wants, and any number of other things. I don't care if he organised and could have planned it on another day. I don't care if it's the last Bachelor party of the group. OP, and the baby, come FIRST. Not just when it's easy and convenient, but all the time. If my husband went to something like this after I'd asked him not to, and he missed the birth of our child, or showed up drunk or high while I was in labour, it would be the end of my marriage. I honestly can't believe how many people are saying OP is unreasonable. If you can't stay sober for one weekend for your family, you have a problem. And grxce22 says: NTA. He should have planned it earlier. I had my son at 37 weeks, and being that far away from you that close to your due date is stupid. KeithSparkle, a dad of two, relayed his own experiences: NTA. As a father of two, I cannot imagine taking the risk that my wife would drive herself to the hospital when she went into labor and when I might be drunk two hours away. I have been to bachelor parties and missed one that was for a best friend. At the end of the day all the stress caused to my pregnant wife an risking missing the birth of my child is not worth a bachelor party. This might even be different if he had to travel for work. But in the professional world, employers often accommodate employees for these kinds of situations. Sitting out when other people party is just part of growing up and being a rrspons A select few commenters did argue that the husband should be able to spend the weekend with his friends, even though it's a "big ask."Like DarthCharizard, who writes: I get that it's big ask, but his best friend is getting married and he's only going to be 2h away. I think that as long as he keeps his phone charged and he stays sober enough to drive, it's not unreasonable that he wants to attend this event he planned. But I also get why you're nervous. Can he tentatively plan to attend and check in with your doctor to see how likely it is you're going to go into labor closer to the actual date? But an ObGyn weighed in to urge him not to go away if he doesn't want to risk missing his baby's birth. Says GoThirdParty: Obgyn here: not going to be able to give any helpful guess to a woman at term who has already had a baby. We can check their cervix but that doesn’t tell you much. I would advise against his travel, assuming being present at the birth of his child is a priority of his. Which it should be. His unwillingness to settle for a perfectly reasonable compromise is what settles this case. This guy seems like a real selfish jerk. I hope he stays by his wife's side until she has the baby. And during labor, I hope she squeezes his hand right off his body so he can't play golf anymore. Sorry, not sorry.