Man wants family to 'get over' sister's baby; says 'it's not that special.' AITA?
One brother is jealous of his sister for getting more attention from his family.
His sister and her wife recently found out they were pregnant and the family could not be more excited. While her brother is happy for her is well, he feels like her pregnancy has usurped the news of his own wife's pregnancy. He says his sister acts as though her baby is the most important thing in the world and his wife feels ignored and neglected.
'AITA for telling my sister that her baby isn’t the only one that matters?'
I (32M) am expecting my second child with my (30F) wife. My wife is 14 weeks pregnant, and we are really excited! My sister (25F) and her wife (27F) are also pregnant with their first child.
My sister and her wife did IVF, and my sister is 38 weeks pregnant. I’m very happy for them, and I think they will make great parents.
The other day we all met up to see our grandparents. They live out of state and don’t visit a lot, so when they do we always set aside time to see them all together. My grandparents were talking about how excited they were to see my sister and her wife become mothers, and they couldn’t wait to have their first great granddaughter.
They continued to talk about my sister’s baby and didn’t even acknowledge my wife’s pregnancy. I could tell it was hurting my wife, so I tried to start a conversation to include her but it always went back to my sister and my SIL’s baby.
I even tried talking about the gender reveal we are holding soon, but no one seemed to care. My wife got upset and walked out of the room. My sister asked me if everything was okay, and I told her that my wife was upset because she’s feeling left out.
My SIL apologized and said that that wasn’t her intention. My mom tried to convince my wife to come back and sit down, but she refused. My sister told me that my wife cant expect every conversation to be about her, and “this isn’t a competition.”
I told my sister that her baby isn’t the only baby that matters and ours matters too. My grandma told me that she would be more than happy to discuss both pregnancies, but it was too late. My wife wanted to leave, so that’s what we did.
I’m now being called an a**hole by my parents for making a scene with my grandparents there. I feel like no one cares enough to see my wife and I’s side in this. AITA here?
Here are some of the top comments by readers:
YTA. Your sister and her wife are pregnant via IVF and she’s at 38 weeks, you are on baby number 2 and nowhere near birth. If you can’t see why they’re showing more excitement for the imminent arrival then I don’t know what to tell you. Not everything revolves around you and your wife.
YTA. I can just see your sister and SIL’s version of this post. ‘We are having our first kid via IVF, my brother is expecting their second in 6-7 months, we are due in two weeks, my grandparents were excited to talk about our coming baby and my brother kept constantly interrupting to tell us about their gender reveal party and then his wife ran out of the room sulking and refused to come back until she was the center of attention…’
It makes sense why they are more excited for them than for you and your wife. This is literally your sister and her wife's first kid together and will be mothers for the first time. Yeah, I do agree that all the kids matter but this isn’t a competition for attention or the spotlight.
Whether it’s your 1st, 2nd or 5th pregnancy/baby; it’s all just as important and special. He was validating his wife’s feelings as he should. And she’s pregnant so hormones are raging.
I get the excitement over a baby that’s coming really soon. That’s fair. His sisters baby isn’t the only baby that matters but I don’t think it was serious enough to have to actually say that. But I don’t think it makes him an AH. Also, why are people in these comments saying “IVF pregnancy at that” as if that means more/is more special??
First great granddaughter? First baby for the sister? First IVF (I’m guessing)? Typically seen as a bigger stigma against lgbt couples? Closer to birth? First girl born? Theirs might not be the only baby that matters, but can you see why maybe they were a tad more excited in the moment?
I honestly don’t get why a bunch of grown ups — three generations worth — couldn’t manage a polite conversation in which everyone was included. Yes, sister gets center stage at the moment, but it’s not that hard to include the other couple in the convo about the sister, is it? Especially since they’re already parents.
Jane, Gloria says her Dr. might not be in town for the delivery… didn’t you end up with the on-call doc for yours? What was it like? Bob, we’re thinking about using cloth diapers. Did you consider if? How did you decide? Oh, Jane, won’t it be fun to have all the cousins play together? Your Harold will be the oldest, but then our Emily will get to boss around your second little one! Lol! etc., etc. Not that hard. NTA.