'AITA for screaming at my sister after announcing her 'pregnancy'?'
"AITA for screaming at my sister after announcing her 'pregnancy'?"
I (43f) and my wife (42f) have been together for 6 years now. We currently have two children and a third on the way. My oldest two (4f)(2m) are super excited to be having another sister. Weve been trying for a while and IVF (in vertro fertilization) was thankfully successful finally.
We've kept my pregnancy from our families for about 4.5 months now due to our families not like my wife and I's not only lesbian marriage, but also our interracial marriage. Yesterday, we threw a party during which we announced our pregnancy.
It was obvious that everyone was shocked and a few were not exactly happy but we didn't let it ruin the mood. About 20 minutes after things had settled and everyone congratulated us, my sister stands on top of our outside table and announces to everyone she is pregnant also.
I didn't let it bother me, because I was happy for her, but I wished she had waited until another day. My wife was not happy with her but did not tell anyone that and we congratulated her.
About 15 minutes later while taking to my sister alone, she tells me she LIED about the pregnancy, but that her and her husband were trying and wanted people to know now. Mind you she told everyone she IS 2 months pregnant.
I instantly started yelling at her telling her that not only was she a liar but that she did it during the party that my wife and I threw to tell them about OUR pregnancy and how she was selfish and attention seeking.
She and her husband left as she was crying. When my mom asked what happened I explained to her and my mom told me I should've just let her have her moment and left it alone.
None of my family will talk to me, and even though my wife's family is on my side, they think I should've done it privately and keep telling my wife and I that I'm in the wrong.
Here is what people had to say to the OP:
HUGE NTA What happens if she doesn’t get pregnant? Is she going to lie again and say she miscarried? If she gets pregnant in a few months is she going to pretend the baby was born early? Why would your mother condone such behavior? This is horrible
NTA. Even if she was pregnant, what she did would've been uncouth. Since she wasn't, she was just being an asshole. There's no good faith explanation for doing that.
I can definitely understand that your reaction was perhaps more 'heat of the moment', but regardless, NTA.
Not only did she try to take the limelight away from you and your wife at a party YOU planned, but she also lied about it. The only person who is in the wrong here is your sister. I hope she gets some help because a stable, sane person does not act this way.
NTA. She was being intentionally mean and was fishing for attention and a reaction from you.
Of course in an ideal world we could always be collected and state our displeasure calmly, but your sister's actions were definitely out of line and your frustration was understandable. And knowing your families history of disrespecting your relationship it seems that their reaction to the situation is tainted by their bigotry.
If you want to be (overly) constructive about this, message your sister and explain how her behavior was hurtful, but that you are sorry about the screaming. Anyways good luck and strength dealing with your families and congratulations on the pregnancy!
Women have been having babies since the beginning of time. I'll never understand this type of drama.
Let's see, your family doesn't like your wife, they are racist and homophobic, your sister is extraordinarily self-centered, your family doesn't speak to you when someone else behaves badly - and you threw a party to make this announcement to these people???
NTA but what were you thinking? They don't have your best interests at heart, stop inviting them to important moments in your life.
I'm confused...let her have her moment? What moment? She's not pregnant so she needed no moment. Especially at a party you and your partner threw to announce your pregnancy. She got exactly what she deserved. NTA.
The OP returned 3 hours after their initial post to provide a few more details.
Edit: I want to make it know since people are getting upset about the party..? We threw the party because this will be our first bio child. My son is adopted and my daughter is my wife's child from a previous marriage that I legally adopted as well.
This raised some more questions for readers.
INFO: Your edit makes it sound like you are celebrating your bio child in a way that you didn’t celebrate your other child. Is that the case?
The OP explains:
We threw a party when we got married to welcome my wife's child into the family and we threw another party to announce our mutually adopted child into the family.