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Man buys pregnant wife cake that child behind him wants, mom calls him 'selfish.' AITA?

Man buys pregnant wife cake that child behind him wants, mom calls him 'selfish.' AITA?


Food cravings are primal for all of us. Stand in the way of someone and their preferred snack? Well, that's a recipe for a sour interaction. No one knows this better than people who've worked in hospitality or food service.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a man asked if he was wrong for buying a cake the kid behind him wanted, despite the mother protesting. He wrote:

"AITA for buying a cake a child behind me wanted?"

My pregnant wife (our first!) messaged me at the end of my work shift that she had sudden cravings for cake, and I was more than happy to get her one. Unfortunately, as this was close to 6pm, the bakery only had a Swiss roll left in terms of cake. As I was selecting a few other breads, a mother and her daughter came in, and the girl noticed the Swiss roll in the display cabinet and shouted that she wanted it.

However, I had already ordered it, and when the worker took it out for me, the girl started screaming and crying. The mother did initially ask if I could leave the roll for her, but I said that I ordered first. She then began getting extremely demanding, saying that I didn't need to eat it, can't you feel for a kid, how selfish, etc.

It only stopped with the worker said that I had came first and ordered it before the mother and daughter had even walked in. I got home and told my wife the incident. She said that I was a bit of an AH for not giving up the cake for the kid, and that she would have understood if the store had no more since I did buy other sweet breads, or I could have gone to the supermarket instead.

She also asked why I didn't tell the mother that I was buying it for a pregnant wife with cravings. I didn't see the need to share private info, but wife said that maybe the mother would have understood, and that I appeared to be insensitive by sticking to "ordering first" as my argument.

We did end up enjoying the Swiss roll and she told me not to worry and just be more mindful next time, but I can't help but feel a bit guilty. Was I the AH for denying a kid a cake she wanted?

People were quick to share all flavor of feedback.

1u53r3dd1t wrote:

NTA you were getting your Pregnant Wife something for a craving. I can tell you that I did a ton of driving and impromptu runs during both pregnancies when my wife had cravings. I did it because I wanted to and knew it would make her happy.

I may be being petty here.....but your Wife is kind of an AH for calling you 'kind of an AH' when you were making a run for her. It isn't like you were nasty to the kid or anything like that.

OP responded:

My wife explained it as a scenario for when we have our child and something similar happens and how sad we and our child would be. But I don't think I would let my child throw the same tantrum, nor be as rude as the mother was to me. I can't blame my wife, her emotions and thinking are all over the place. So she may have been overthought it, but it was enough to make me feel guilty.

The impromptu runs are sometimes the best to be honest! Couple weeks ago she had a craving for something, but didn't know what she wanted. So I brought home a roast chicken. She absolutely demolished that chook, and proclaimed it the best meal she ever had.

laurasdiary wrote:

NTA. The mother needs to work on helping her child deal appropriately with disappointments and problem-solving. The child was disappointed about not getting the Swiss Roll and naturally became upset, but there are ways to soothe and even problem-solve after realizing the cake was already spoken for.

The mother arguing about the cake sets a negative example for her child. She could have told her child the cake is already sold and and asked her, do you want something else here or do you want to wait and have a treat another time?

KronkLaSworda wrote:

NTA, but your wife is wrong.

Never JADE with demanding people. Never justify yourself, argue your point, defend yourself, or explain yourself. No is a complete sentence, just move on.

SatisfactoryLoaf wrote:

NTA. Children aren't magical wands, converting guilt into things-you-want. Just because the mother was worn down doesn't mean you have to [as far as you knew] disappoint your wife.

Now if the kid had like, 3 days to live and the swiss cake was her final wish because her father invented them and died in a horrible baking accident and she just wanted to remember the good times, well, then mom can explain that context.

Playful-Ad5623 wrote:

Jeezuz bloody christ. Why the hell is it that some people think "it's for the chiiiiillllldreeeennnnn" is an excuse for entitlement. It's not. Life is full of disappointment, and Sally's life isn't going to end if little Sally doesn't get today's want satisfied. NTA.

Clearly, the internet is with OP on this.

Sources: Reddit
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