Woman knows her sister cheated on her boyfriend and he’s about to propose. + Update
"My sister (23f) cheated on her boyfriend (23m) and he’s about to propose."
burritosarethebest_
So my younger sister grew close to one of her boyfriend’s friends last summer. Her boyfriend was studying for the MCAT in his free time and wasn’t spending as much time with her. So she began to hangout with the male friend. Her boyfriend said he trusted her and he wasn’t worried or jealous. He should have been.
She asked her boyfriend for a break and then slept with the male friend. She reported to me that the affair was an “empty experience.” She got back with her boyfriend right after.
Her boyfriend was confused when the longtime male friend suddenly stopped speaking to him. My sister never said a word. She let her boyfriend think he’d offended his friend or something. She asked me to never tell.
Fast forward to 2024! Valentine’s Day is approaching. Her boyfriend texted me asking for my help in setting up a heartfelt proposal for her. I cannot in good conscience help with this. I feel I’d be complicit in her sin. Their marriage would be started on a lie.
Tonight, I encouraged her to tell him what happened last summer. She said they were on a break and it doesn’t matter. But it does! She asked for the break with ulterior motives. The truth will come out. How can I say no to helping with the proposal? I can’t be involved with this.
Here were the top rated comments from readers after the OP's initial post:
SuperGRB
Don't let him make the mistake of his life. Tell him anonymously if need be.
The OP responded here:
burritosarethebest_
That’s what my mom said, too! It’s a great idea.
Historical-Pie-5052
What your sister did was wrong. She broke up with her boyfriend to sleep with his friend. I'm surprised his jilted buddy hasn't said something. The boyfriend needs to know. I guarantee you this will come out at some point after they are married. Then it's a worse mess.
Bill2550
Tell her it is her bf’s responsibility to decide if it doesn’t matter to him. She KNOWS it would matter that is why she refuses to say anything!
“It’s a lot harder to be walked on when you are standing up!” (Stand up for him)
Updateme!
Two weeks later, the OP returned with an update.
"Update - My sister (23f) cheated on her boyfriend (23m) and he’s about to propose."
burritosarethebest_
Several folks requested an update to my previous post. It’s gotten worse, y’all.
So I had a conversation with my sister. I told her she needed to tell her bf what happened last summer. She called me a “b*t<#” but called him on the phone that same evening.
I think she feared I would tell him myself. I heard part of the conversation and her boyfriend was saying how it was very hurtful and he was upset that she did that but he still loves her, etc. So the proposal happened anyway. I did not help out (thankfully I was not able to leave work early).
And the crazy thing is, several men reached out to the bf on his Instagram after the happy couple photo was posted. One man shared his surprise that my sister and the bf were engaged because that guy had slept with my sister two months prior.
Other men shared that my sister had engaged in sexual activities with them at different points in the recent past. I did not realize she got around so much….it’s crazy. Her bf (now fiancé) brought these allegations to her and she told him those people are “trying to disturb our peace.”
She urged him to block these people. She deleted all of her own social media and blocked any man she’d ever been intimate with in any capacity. I think these are her attempts at damage control.
Her fiancé is infatuated with her (this is his first real relationship), but I think even he knows this engagement is wrong. This whole relationship is wrong. He still hasn’t told his parents they’re engaged.
They never really approved of him dating my sister anyway. She is a free spirit who loves tattoos and impulsive living. He’s from an upper-middle-class family and has a very specific trajectory for his life. So yes, they’re engaged. But it’s all a dumpster fire of foolishness.
Here were the top rated comments from readers after the OP's update:
Kitchen_Ferret_2752
Oh wow, atleast you didn't hide it, now that he knows it's now left for him to stay with her or leave.
NotThatUsefulAPerson
OP did her part and should just let this man be a dumb dumb if he's so insistent on it.
Mueryk
Free spirit - lying selfish cheater. Impulsive living - self control of a three year old. Hope he does better than her. She would destroy him because she can’t be bothered not to.
Historical-Pie-5052
Since he's studying to be a doctor get him to tell her she must sign a prenup with an ironclad infidelity clause. She'll end the engagement on her own.
The OP responded here:
burritosarethebest_
I agree. I imagine that will be discussed once his parents find out…
OblongRectum
maybe you should tell his parents.
The OP again responded:
burritosarethebest_
No, I won’t be telling them. I feel I did what I needed to do with the information I already had. The fiancé or his brother should tell their parents. My goal was just to get my sister to be honest and stop hurting an innocent person by hiding the truth.
It’s not right. I didn’t realize there is much more to it (many more men involved, etc). So now I’m not doing anything more. I really feel they will not get married. This young man already knows this engagement is wrong, that’s why he’s hiding it from his parents. They will talk some sense into him, you CANNOT marry someone who cheats on you.
Tight-Shift5706
OP can pass this tidbit on to fiancé's family anonymously. Blow it up from the outside.
Btw, OP, DO NOT AGREE TO BE A BRIDESMAID.