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'My BF proposed at his sister's wedding. Now that I know why, I regret saying yes.' UPDATED

'My BF proposed at his sister's wedding. Now that I know why, I regret saying yes.' UPDATED


"My(F22) boyfriend(M25) proposed during his sister's wedding and I accepted but I don't know if I want to marry him."

My boyfriend and I went to his sister's wedding last Friday. They have always had a strained relationship. It was a great wedding and both of them seemed to get along. We had been at the party for about 2 hours when he goes up to the dj and asks for the microphone. I thought that he was going to toast for his sister... But no.

He asks me to come up to him. I was terrified. I remember thinking to myself "he is not doing that! No!" I also remember looking at his sister and she looking at me and we both had the same look on our faces but she was more mad.

He then proceeds to propose to me.... At his sister's wedding! People where cheering arround us and his sister just looked like she wanted to cry. I was just frozen. And I didn't know what else to do than to say yes. I was crying. But not happy crying. People were super extatic.

After that I went up to his sister and was apologizing over and over. She was mad. Like MAD. I felt so sorry for her. I left early and my boyfriend came at like 2 am hammer to our hotel room. I was mad so I Confronted him.

At first he was like "babe... My whole family was there it was the best time" till he finally admitted that he also did it because his sister had ruined his graduation by announcing her wedding. I left the morning after and haven't talked to him since. I don't know what to do. He won't stop calling but I am very mad. I don't even know what to say to him

What do you think she should do? Commenters weighed in:

InoffensivePaint said:

So it’s not about you and he deciding to spend your lives together, not about a special time for you, not about how he was letting everyone know he loves you and wants to be with you... It was about him getting back at his sister for taking the spotlight at his graduation? Not husband material. Hard pass.

Not to mention that if you stay with him (lol, don't) and he proposes again (because he'd have to because this is obviously a joke of a proposal, right?) you're going to be reminded of this. At your wedding and leading up to it, you're going to fret his sister is going to pull something.

You're going to remember his sister's face at her wedding every time you see her, and every time you think about her wedding, your wedding, your first and second proposal. How you had to apologise for his poor decision and terrible behaviour. Your life is going to end up being apologising for his shitty behaviour. So yeah, hard pass.

Romperstomperr said:

Woah woah woah. Your boyfriend proposed to get back at his sister for ruining his grad? Not because he thought it would be sweet, or personal, or make you happy; he proposed out of spite??? Dude. No.

[deleted] said:

It sounds like he only proposed to get revenge on his sister. He purposefully attempted to ruin her special day. He doesn't actually want to get married, and was willing to fuck with your head to fuck with hers. He's trash. Dump him.

ExpertIkeaNavigator said:

He proposed to you as a ploy to get back at his sister? Move on

Verdict: Dump him.

A few weeks later, OP shared this update:

He was using me to get back at her. Long story short I broke up with him. It was very messy ans he kept pushing me to come back to him. His argument was that he loves me and that showing his sister who's boss was just a nice bonus. We kept fighting until I finally broke things off.

He didn't take it too well because in his mind he didn't do anything wrong so he thought that I was taking "his sister's side". I have lost some friends who said that I was just looking for an easy out and so on. In the moment I feel actually pretty devastated because I still love him. I feel like everyone hates me. I know it's such a weak thing to be this affected but I am.

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