'My GF returned the engagement ring because she didn’t like where I proposed.' UPDATED

"My gf of 3 years returned the engagement ring because she didn’t like where I proposed."

I decided to propose to my gf of three years on our third anniversary. I flew her to Vietnam and after a couple of weeks travelling we ended up in Cambodia. She had wanted to see Angkor wat and some other temples that were on her bucket list. After a long day of hiking in the heat through ruins we retired back to our hotel and when we were alone together I proposed and she said yes.

We kissed and I had planned to take her to the waterfall the next day to celebrate. It’s really beautiful. She took a shower and I laid in bed thinking what an amazing day I just had and how I would get to spend the rest of my life with the woman I loved. When she came out of the shower however she was in tears.

She handed me back the ring saying she couldn’t accept it because she didn’t want her memory of my proposal to be in a hotel room. I played it cool and said I understood but truthfully it hurt. It seems to me that I had offered her something of value. A lifelong commitment and partner. I took her halfway around the world and helped her cross off something she had wanted to do most of her adult life.

I felt that if she valued me it wouldn’t matter that the proposal wasn’t exactly what she wanted. It was me and our future together she was saying yes to and not my delivery. If she had found a million dollars in a dumpster she wouldn’t throw it back because of where it came from.

So she can’t possibly value me or what I have to offer as an individual if she’s willing to reject it because she didn’t like the place I asked. I’m preparing to end things when we get back. She wants me to propose again and better and then she’ll say yes, but I’m done. Am I wrong? Should I do it over? What do you think. Any advice is appreciated.

What do you think OP should do? This is what top commenters had to say:

[deleted] said:

So my husband did something similar. He proposed in our hotel room on Valentine’s Day in Mexico while I was changing into my bathing suit. Sure I wish it was more romantic back then but now who cares. His intent was more important I know now. I would have never made his redo it.

weareredjenny said:

I shared this story with my fiancé and he had some smart input on this: “I wouldn’t say it’s a dealbreaker, but I would tell her that’s my proposal. If she wants to get married, then it’s on her. She can propose at any time, but I wouldn’t do it again.”

We’re both sorry you’re in this situation now. It shows shallowness on her part. Hopefully she is mature enough to see the error of her judgment. Good luck!

Kraye5 said:

Personally, I don’t think it should matter how a proposal goes. That being said, talk to her. Tell her how your request to do a better proposal made you feel. She may be horrified that she made you feel this way. This is someone you wanted to marry. Give her the benefit of the doubt. How she reacts may give you the answer that you need.

And GodlessHippie said:

I’m going to skip the proposal part and just say what stuck out to me. You’re considering ending it over this, when a week ago you were planning on spending your life with her. If one fight and one sh!tty behavior on her end takes you from “forever” to “over,” it’s not a good and healthy relationship and you aren’t happy.

So, how did this love story end? OP later shared this update:

I ended up following the advice of one of the commenters. The conversation with my girlfriend went something like this: Me: No that was my proposal. You rejected it. It's never going to happen again.

GF: So we aren't getting married? You aren't going to propose... ever? Me: No never. I'm glad you were the one I proposed to and I'm happy that I found the courage to take that step and make such a huge commitment. But no. It was a one-time thing. If you want to marry me, you'll have to propose.

I decided to see how things went and planned to give her till my birthday (July) to make her proposal or I would end it and move on. She did while we were hiking a trail back home. I accepted.

That's it for now. Am I making a huge mistake? Maybe. I'll get a prenup of course and protect my assets. If it ends it won't cost me more than a few hundred. Hopefully, I get many happy years from this. If not, I'll update the post.

Also, thanks for all the comments and support. Weird how much that meant. I also genuinely appreciated the people that objected to me ending things. It's the internet so I expect to hear nothing but "Dump her". Getting another more reasonable side to things was helpful.

What do you think about how this story ended?