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Family calls bride 'selfish' for not letting her cousin propose at her wedding. AITA?

Family calls bride 'selfish' for not letting her cousin propose at her wedding. AITA?


"AITA for stopping my cousin’s wedding proposal?"


I(27 female) just got married to the love of my life “Jacob”(30 male) this past weekend. My cousin “Patrick”(34 male) has always been immature, selfish, and rudely forthright.

For as long as I can remember, he has never failed to make birthday parties(not his own), holidays, and other occasions all about him. The adults in the family have always shown him favoritism, and this has, overtime, spoiled and enabled him.

A week before the wedding, he called to let me know that he was going to propose to his long time girlfriend during the reception. He did t even ask, just stated that it was going to happen, like I had no choice in the matter. This infuriated me, but I calmly told him not to go through with it.

When he asked why, I said that I did not want attention to be deviated away from me and my husband on our special day. This did not go over well, and soon after he began yelling at me. He even went as far as calling me a selfish b*** and then hung up on me.

Later that day, I received multiple angry phone calls from our parents, saying that I was being selfish and unreasonable. I explained to them that at the end of the day, it was MY wedding day, and that it was my decision if I wanted the proposal to take place. This angered many, with some family members going as far as deciding not to attend.

I assumed that Patrick was also going to make a no show. But to my surprise, he texted me saying that he’d show up anyway. I knew that he was going to go against my wishes and carry on with the proposal since, in the past, he’s caused a lot of drama at other family functions.

So, I concocted a plan and showed a picture of Patrick to the live band that I hired for the reception. I even payed them extra, with the request to start playing should Patrick ever try to make a speech. I informed the other cousins about my plan, and they were all supportive since they knew Patrick’s antics all to well and were just as fed up with his ridiculous behavior.

The day was finally here and Patrick arrived with his girlfriend and his parents. He was acting very cordial for once, but I was not fooled. After the maid of honor and best man speeches, I noticed Patrick getting up from his seat and making his way toward the stage. And just like that, the band started to play.

I smiled, grabbed my husband, and rushed towards the dance floor. Everyone else joined in, and it looked as though Patrick’s actions went unnoticed. He made three more attempts, which were shut down immediately with loud music. Some of the cousins even blocked his path, telling him to “just cut it out.”

He looked more and more angry as the night progressed, and eventually grabbed his girlfriend’s hand and stormed out of the venue. As I watched him leave, I laughed out loud, and had a blast for the rest of the night with family and friends.

I woke up the next morning to more angry text messages and voicemails, which I ignored. I decided to not engage in the drama, and just enjoyed my honeymoon with my husband.

I am having doubts if I truly am TA or not since I’ve gone no contact from both Patrick and family members that took his side. They can’t stand me now, and the voicemails I received from those selected few were hurtful to say the least. I’m struggling and weighing this whole thing out, wondering if I really am an a**.

Here were the top rated comments from readers:


Nope he’s a selfish jerk


Freaking genius to pay the band extra to play over him. High five!


I don't even know why you would want to propose at someone else's event. Don't you want that to be special for yourself as well?


He’s a spoiled brat! Who would call family and have them boycott your wedding because he want allowed to propose! Good for you for not allowing it.


Your family got mad at you for not wanting someone to propose at your wedding? Seriously Anyway, sounds like you handled it pretty well! Obviously NTA.


NTA at all! What you did was brilliant 💯 He’s a spoiled brat that got what he deserved… well done 👍

So, do you think the OP was right to shut down her cousin's attempt to propose to his girlfriend at her wedding or was she being selfish?

Sources: Reddit
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