When this man is annoyed with his wife, he asks Reddit:
I (43M) am threatening my wife (41F) over the actions of her mother. My wife and I have been married for 7 years now and dating for three years before that. Her mother and I have never seen eye to eye on many different issues...
however I have always been able to ignore these differences as I love my wife and only see my mother-in-law a couple of times a year, as me and my wife have moved across the country for work related reasons.
My mother-in-law never had any respect for anyone else's privacy, constantly thinks she is in the right when she is not and expects everyone to bend over backwards for her. She never approved of me marrying her daughter even though I have always done my best for the both of them.
My mother-in-law has always been a kleptomaniac and thinks she can get away with stealing more as she is getting older and thinks people will take pity on her. She admitted this to my wife’s aunt who then went on to tell my wife.
This has always troubled me and I have never been fully comfortable with the thought of her coming to my and my wife’s house as she has been expressing an interest in a ring that was left for me by my mother, who unfortunately passed away 7 years ago.
The passing was very difficult for me and looking at the ring reminds me of all of the memories me and my mother made together. My mother has asked me to give the ring to her multiple times over the years, and I have even caught her twice trying to steal it.
I made my wife aware of this and she claimed that ‘it is just a ring’. I have attempted to communicate to my wife that this ring is very important to me and that it is not to be given away, she always gave a minimal response to this.
I was away for the week that my mother-in-law came over for work related reasons and to my horror my wife had given her the ring that I loved so much, my wife claimed that her mother had been showing symptoms of Alzheimer's and that she wanted to make her happy, so she gave her my ring.
I later learned that my mother-in-law had sold the ring and doesn’t know the current location of it. I was very angry, and still am, at both of them. I have threatened my wife with divorce if I cannot get my ring back, which looks unlikely.
I trusted my wife to keep this ring safe however she dismissed it as if it was nothing. Maybe she isn’t the woman I thought she was. AITA?
NTA. It's not just about the ring. It's about respect and the fact that she enables her mother. You expressly told her how much the ring meant to you and it's not to be given away. Her reply is "it's just a ring." Implying that she gives no fucks about what you value or your feelings on it.
I wouldn't be surprised if her mom stole it and your wife covered for her by saying she gave it to her. This is grounds for divorce in my opinion.
NTA. If your wife doesn't consider your feelings and put her mother over your feelings of your late mother - she is not there for you. She doesn't respect you and you can't count on her.
At least you two should try couples therapy. So there might be a way she learns to see what she did - it sounds like your mother in law is good at manipulating people. You might have to let your wife choose between you or her mother.
Or yes divorce could be the right way. If you do so, go to the police and file a report about the 'stolen' ring. It could help in the divorce procedere to show, that she helped steeling from you. Depending of the law in your state and the value of the ring, they might help you looking for it.
Maybe also try to post about it on social media and/or hire a private detective who is specialised on finding stolen property.
NTA. You will not get the ring back. I would recommend either filing a police report or suing though.
Your wife has shown zero respect for you or your wishes. You definitely have a wife problem. Personally, I would not make it only a threat...make it a fact. You deserve to be with someone who puts YOU first...not mommy or anyone else.