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'AITA for refusing to pay rent in my BF's mom’s house for staying there?'

'AITA for refusing to pay rent in my BF's mom’s house for staying there?'


"AITA for refusing to pay rent in my BF's mom’s house for staying there?"

So I (F19) and my boyfriend (M20) live separately. I have a place of my own that I rent, but my boyfriend lives with his mom still because she’s pretty sick and has no one else to care for her. I stay over there pretty often (maybe 2-3 nights a week) because my boyfriend works night shifts and his mom still needs someone to look after her, so I’m more than happy to stay over and do whatever needs doing.

However, now she is asking me to pay $350 a month for staying round so often. This honestly baffles me, because I literally only stay there overnight a few nights a week, I barely use her food, I have the odd shower but that’s IT. I certainly don't use $350 worth of her stuff a month. This is on top of the $350 that my boyfriend pays her, which is fair enough because he lives there full time.

Why should I pay rent on her house when I already have a place of my own that’s quite expensive? I told her no, that’s not fair, but now she’s angry at me. My boyfriend is on my side but I can’t help but feel like I could be an AH.

The internet had a lot of opinions.

WikkidWitchly wrote:

NTA. She's the parent, not your boyfriend. It might be time for some tough love and she might have to figure out how to take care of herself. If she's so sick that she needs someone around constantly, maybe she shouldn't be biting the hand that was offering aid. So stop going over and helping. She clearly doesn't appreciate it. Maybe talk to your bf about staying over at your place more.

And his mom, who is a grown-a$$ adult, can either figure out her own sickness, get a caregiver, or find financial assistance. If she's that sick, she can clearly apply for assistance to take care of her. And if she can't...? Then maybe she shouldn't be trying to milk the people around her for money.

WhiteJadedButterfly wrote:

NTA, stop staying over, stop caring for her. She’s not your responsibility.

PsychologyAutomatic3 wrote:

NTA. She’s being ridiculous to think that you should pay as much as her son pays when you’re there to help her. The only thing you should pay her is no mind. Stay home. Let your bf visit you at your place.

MrsScalf wrote:

Wait, you’re staying there to help look after her, right? That means you’re her caregiver and she should be paying you for your time. It would be different if you and your boyfriend were there and you were only spending time with your boyfriend. However, if you’re caring for this lady in any capacity, she should be grateful you’re willing to sleep in a bed that’s not your own.

OP is clearly NTA here, but her boyfriend's mom is a huge one.

Sources: Reddit
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