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'I’m full of regrets, I believed my husband cheated on me because my SIL lied.' MAJOR UPDATE

'I’m full of regrets, I believed my husband cheated on me because my SIL lied.' MAJOR UPDATE


There are times when the truth is far more complicated than you could imagine.

In a popular post on the True Off My Chest subreddit, a woman shared her regretful story of divorcing her husband for cheating, only to find out he never cheated. She wrote:

"I’m full of regrets, I believed my husband cheated on me when he didn’t."

Cheating is something that I have always had strong opinions about. I have been cheated on before and it sucked. Everyone knows that I don’t forgive cheaters. So when my sister-in-law (my husband's sister) staged an elaborate scheme about my husband cheating I ended the relationship. My relationship unfortunately wasn’t the only one that was affected.

My sister-in-law Lisa (32), her best friend Emma (32) and my husband Jamie(29) were best friends growing up. Emma got married early when she was 20. Her husband was ab*sive. She has two children with him. She got divorced 10 years later and she was finally free from his ab*se. She suffered a lot however and was (probably still is) in therapy. Her and her children.

I (30) met Jamie 4 years ago. We got married two years later. Everything was just awesome. What I didn’t know was that Emma wanted Jamie and Lisa made it her mission, when Emma finally got divorced, to bring her brother and best friend together. I didn’t know any of this.

I never knew there was a hidden agenda when a few months into my marriage, I overheard Lisa talking about how Jamie was cheating with a married colleague of his. In hindsight, I can tell it was staged because she was saying unnecessary details and was very loud. She meant for me to hear it.

I confronted her then and there and she played very flustered and apologized and begged me not to ruin my marriage. She told me Jamie loved me and she never want to lose me as a sister. But at the same time she provided me with pictures and texts they were all photoshopped of my husband and his colleague.

She begged me not to mention where I’ve found out and I was grateful for her support and promised her not to expose her as the source. I confronted my husband with everything and he adamantly refused to admit to anything. It hurt me more that he never admitted nor apologized. Ever. He asked me where I got this from but I kept my promise and told him it was an anonymous tip.

I also went so far that I contacted the colleague’s husband. At the time I thought it was the right thing to do. The colleague is this very beautiful woman that my husband worked very closely with many hours a day. I was a bit jealous of that and I confided my fears with Lisa. She used it against me. I asked for divorce and the colleague’s husband did too.

After that Lisa who I thought was my friend, who called me her sister disappeared from my life. Like I never existed. Even when I bumped into her she was short with me and indifferent. Months went by and I was still heartbroken, processing the separation. My husband stopped trying to make me see reason and agreed to divorce. He said he wanted to move on. I started having doubts.

Why is Lisa doing this now? She was my friend and wanted the best for me yet now she didn’t even answer my texts. I follow both her and Emma on insta and I started seeing how Emma and my husband gradually started hanging out. At least once a week Emma or Lisa shared stories about my husband with Emma and her children. What I did next is very questionable and yet I don’t regret it at all.

I was desperate and I needed the truth. I was still very good friends with Lisa’s on again off again boyfriend’s (Mike) sister. I told her my doubts and everything. I told her that Lisa was my source that my husband was cheating and that I’m starting to doubt everything and that I needed their help to unearth the truth. Mike was easier to persuade to help me that I expected.

He had Lisa’s passcodes and he went through her messages with Emma. And there was everything. They have plotted every. They used my idiocy and insecurity and made me throw the best thing that have ever happened to me. He sent me all the proof I needed. Even the original photos they used to photoshop my husband with his colleague.

My world was turned upside down again and I went down a deeper depression. I stayed in bed, called in sick for two weeks. I have not only ruined my life but also another family. I don’t know why I’m writing here. If I want advice or just vent. I don’t blame anyone but my stupidity for ruining my marriage. I should have trusted my husband and the love he’s shown me.

I should have been honest with him about everything and where I got the news that he was cheating from. I should have not gone to hurt the colleague and her family just because I thought she was beautiful. She has since quit her job and moved but I still had her husband’s contact information. I had to at least apologize. We met and I told him everything. He was so angry with me.

He was crying and yelling at me and all I could think was that I deserved every insult he threw my way. I found the colleague on Instagram and DMed her everything and a long apology. She didn’t answer me. I don’t know if I should tell my husband too. I know I don’t deserve him at all.

And I know that he doesn’t want me anymore but maybe he should just know what Emma is doing and what she’s capable of doing. He deserves to know the truth. Maybe I could start with reassuring him that I’m not trying to win him back. I’m just trying to help him understand. And apologize. I need to apologize for everything. I don’t know.

The internet had a lot to say in response to this saga.

Avamia94 wrote:

Of course you should show your ex husband. Whilst you’re at it, show all the proof Mike sent you.

OP responded:

That’s what I want to do. I’m not sure. I’ve made it very clear to him that I didn’t want anything to do with him anymore so I don’t know if I should ask to meet him or just send him a text with everything.

Avamia94 responded:

Personally, I would arrange to meet him. If he says no, text him the proof.

OP responded:

Won’t he think I’m trying to make him fall in love with me again if I meet him. I don’t want to pressure him because I’ve hurt him very bad. I just want to make things right. Apologize and warn him against Emma.

laundry_pirate wrote:

Look he deserves to know who f**ked him over above all else. Your relationship with him is secondary. First and foremost he has a right to know what his sister did to him. Going forward you can apologize and tell him you don’t expect him to forgive you and that if he wants to contact you again it’s his choice but that you have no expectations.

ImagineSnapDragons wrote:

My question is why wouldn’t you tell him? Emma and Lisa are manipulative monsters. What they did was sick. They need to be exposed, and your ex also deserves the truth. His sister set him up.

Robsp93 wrote:

Your ex husband deserves to know what type of monsters are his sister and his friend. Try to reach out for a meeting, if he doesn't agree send him all the evidences you have, asap. He needs to know. You got the chance to do the right thing, take it.

A little over a week later, OP jumped on with an update.

Hi! Have now an update. Thank you for being so supportive. I honestly didn’t expect that given how long and boring my story was. I remember being so desperate and wanted to tell everything from the beginning and put it out there, maybe to try and make excuses for myself and for what I did. I appreciate that you wanted to help.

I decided not to meet up with Jamie. Every time I tried to text him and ask for a meeting me I panic. That wasn’t a good sign at all. I wanted him to know everything, in details and I tend to be all over the place when I’m panicking. So I decided to email him instead. I made a lot of drafts. Crossed checked all the information and waited a whole day before sending.

Adding some details here and there that I’ve forgotten to include. I sent him all the manipulated pictures and the original. Every screenshot Mike sent me from Lisa and Emma's conversations. I made it clear however that I wasn’t trying to manipulate him to have me back. Because I knew that what I did was unforgivable but that I wanted to warn him about who he’s dealing with.

I told that that I’ve been watching Emma and Lisa’s IG and I’ve seen that he was getting cozier with Emma. I wanted him to know all the facts if he was dating her this took all my energy to write. Just the thought of him dating Emma, I mean I can't. I texted him that I’ve sent him an important email. He didn’t answer me.

On Wednesday when I came back from work. Lisa, Emma and Emma's two children were waiting for me outside of my building. When I let them in (stupid, stupid me) Lisa started yelling and threatening me. She told me to call and tell Jamie AND Mike that I have made up all of this because I’m a pathetic loser. She told me I didn’t want her as an enemy because she would make my life sour believe me!

You don’t want me to make destroying your already miserable life my mission. Emma just smiled the whole time. She later said that my husband always had a crush on her and that he wouldn’t believe my nonsense because he could finally be with her.

The thing is, it felt like Lisa was more angry that Mike knew what she did rather than her brother and she really was annoyed about Emma and told her to shut up all the time. I couldn’t get them out of my apartment so I just left and called Jamie. I told him that they were at my place and that I couldn’t get them out. 15 minutes later I saw them leave.

Jamie texted then that he wanted to come over if I was alright with it. #YES! He told me that he was very hurt that I would doubt him like this. And believe rumors. I told him everything, again, without panicking. I told him that I loved and trusted Lisa. She was like my sister and I asked him to put himself in my shoes and if he happened to hear Lisa talk about ME being unfaithful.

Would he have any doubts in his loving sister’s intentions? He stayed the night and left next morning. We have been texting several times a day and talking on the phone and FaceTime every night since. He says that he loves me but that he doesn’t know what to do. He is very hurt. By his sister and Emma of course but even by me. He hasn’t talked about canceling the divorce process yet.

I will just have to wait and that’s understandable. I’ve turned his life upside down twice in such a short period. On a happier note. My husband’s colleague and her husband are back together. My husband met with them and apologized. I’ve already told them everything but my husband felt the need to apologize personally.

Mike has ended it with Lisa. Lisa and Emma’s relationship is very strained. Both have blocked me from IG of course but apparently Lisa is blaming Emma for Mike leaving her and Emma has tried to throw Lisa under the bus by telling Jamie she was innocent in all of this. I really hope my husband forgives me and I promise that I will make it up to him and love him #forever.

The internet had a lot to say.

Lost10-10 wrote:

He doesn't believe Emma right? That she was innocent and only Lisa was involved? Also were they dating or just hanging out?

OP responded:

I have suggested this. He just smiled at me because it was something that he suggested before our break up and I refused. Because at the time, I thought nothing can fix infidelity.

Dark-Makaria wrote:

Oh my days. What an ordeal. I hate such toxic people. Jamie was with you, had all the opportunities to get with the other lass but didn't. The only way they could see a way in was to break him down and get to him while he was vulnerable. It's awful and insecurities are horrific things. I do hope you get it sorted lovely as you were horribly manipulated in an awful game.

OP responded:

I have thought about it. Lisa has apparently a long history of manipulating and catfishing. The reason her relationship with Mike was unstable was because he caught her catfishing him on instagram. And she was also catfishing a colleague at work. Pretending she was a man. She’s spooky tbh.

WhyDidIPickAccountin wrote:

Why isn’t anyone talking about suing the living s**t out of those two women? Surely, this is defamation or something.

OP responded:

I don’t know on what grounds. I’m filing RO but I don’t think this could lead to anything tbh.

[deleted_user] wrote:

Do you know if he is was dating Emma? I guess that makes things kind of weird and a lot to process if he was. He tried to move on and was seemingly happy dating another woman just to have another bomb dropped on him. It’s a really weird situation, I’m guessing probably easier for the other couple involved because she didn’t move on and happily date someone else. I hope it works out regardless.

OP responded:

No he’s not dating Emma. He thought it was weird that she was showing interest in him since she was my friend and for him you don’t date your friends’ husbands.

nadiyah98 wrote:

I believe you and Jamie will heal, it just takes time. Am happy that Jamie got to see the two biggest snakes of his life but I also feel sorry for him. To be related to such a vindictive and resentful person...and did Emma think she would prosper in life with Jamie in a relationship that was build on lies and deceit?

Someone save those two kids from her. Glad that the colleague and husband manage to patch things up. I wish you all the good things life and love! Take care!

little_ballof_fur wrote:

If any of them comes near you start voice recording in secret. Maybe you can use it legally or not but you can definitely show it to Jamie.

Hopefully, OP and Jamie can patch things up. Even if they can't, at least they have the truth now.

Sources: Reddit
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