Man snaps at GF after he gets injured and she tells him to 'be careful next time.'
We all know that in 2023, the best way to settle a couple's tiff is to anonymously bring it to a jury of internet strangers in order to get a verdict.
In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a man asked if he's wrong for getting annoyed at his GF for telling him to "be more careful." He wrote:
"AITAH for getting mad at my (27M) girlfriend (24F) for always telling me to be careful after I get hurt?"
We just moved and I've been working a lot the last few days on renovating the new apartment. During this time I've gotten a few minor injuries, nothing major, just stuff that happens while working. Scrapes, bruises, cuts, etc. After each one when my girlfriend is around, she makes sure to tell me "you should be more careful!"
This annoys me, and I've told her, because it's just hindsight that does nothing, and I'd appreciate it more instead if she just asked if I was okay, or literally anything else. Earlier I was trying to fix a window that came off the frame suddenly, and while forcing it back in, it slammed shut on my fingers.
I could hardly think from the pain and half my hand was numb. Then my girlfriend tells me "be more careful next time." And I'll admit, in my state there, I did get mad. I told her that sure, next time I'll be more careful and just let the window drop down onto the street below. That turned into a big argument. Couple of hours have passed, and she doesn't see my point.
She thinks saying that from a place of caring shouldn't annoy me, and I think that telling someone to be more careful after they get hurt comes across as condescending and doesn't help.
TL;DR: girlfriend always tells me to be more careful after I hurt myself, and it annoyed me to the point where I snapped.
People quickly weighed in.
theasholethrowawa wrote:
These judgements make no sense to me. Let me see if i get this right. OP asks his GF to stop saying be careful next time because it bothers him. She continues to do it so even after he asked her not to. He gets angry she continuing to do the thing he asked her not to but he's wrong . I'll be the only one NTA.
Wanderful-Woman wrote:
So, instead of showing concern she is giving unsolicited and condescending advice, while treating you like a child? Also, is she helping in these repairs, or just criticizing you? NTA.
Boring-Ambassador-55 wrote:
NTA. Not sure what these AH comments are about but my partner, he’s very much a do-it-himself type of guy. If something's broke he will fix it. I would never tell him to be more careful because sometimes s#$t just happens.
A better response is “are you ok?” Or “ do you need anything?”. To me it feels condescending and if he ever told me that (I’m clumsy with stuff) I would be quite unhappy and would probably have a similar response.
whoownsthiscat wrote:
I’ve never been more confused by a comment section. How is what she’s saying demeaning at all? He keeps repeatedly injuring himself at his chores and it’s obviously worrying her, she’s asking him to look after his body because she’s scared he’ll really hurt himself.
My father does a similar thing where he doesn’t mind himself at all during chores and stubbornly and recklessly does DIY work in precarious ways, and never listens to us when we tell them to be careful. When he inevitably gets hurt, he’s then in a foul mood for the rest of the day (if it’s just a day).
It’s exhausting for the people who care about you to feel like you’re being careless and hurting yourself. She’s saying what she says from a place of care, the easy solution here is to be mindful that she’s just concerned for your health and to promise her you’ll be careful. NAH.
Unfair_Finger5531 wrote:
NTA. I would actually be super annoyed if she did this more than once. What is the actual point of telling someone to be more careful when they are in pain from something that has already happened?
Clearly, OP is NTA here, what he needs from his GF is empathy - not instructions.