Being cheated on by a partner is one of the worst forms of betrayal you can experience.
In a popular post on the True Off My Chest subreddit, a man shared his relationship saga.
My girlfriend and I have been dating for a little over three years. Everything was great until about a 6 months ago. We stopped having as much sex as we used to and I'll admit that was mostly my fault. Work got really stressful and I had some family issues I had to deal with and unfortunately my relationship suffered a bit. We talked and I promised to put more effort into us.
I do think things have gotten better overall but I know we both still have room for improvement. Despite everything I absolutely love this girl and don't want to lose her. Last night my girlfriend told me she was going to the club with some friends after work, I didn't think anything of it. They do this from time to time so whatever.
Last night around 11pm my sister sent me some texts saying she saw my girlfriend and my friend making out at the club. I didn't believe her and she said that when she went to grab her phone to get proof they had stopped but we're still dancing very intimately and did manage to get a couple of pictures. It made me very uncomfortable. I asked if they left together and she said she doesn't know.
Here's my problem with all this, about 4 years ago, my sister told me she had a crush on my friend. She confessed to him and he turned her down, hard apparently. He told her she's not his type and she's way too young, according to him she was persistent and he ended being a little mean about it. She was really hurt by it and even now she refuses to speak to him.
It took her a whole year before she could even be in the same room as him. As far as I know she has a decent relationship with my girlfriend. They aren't friends but are friendly. This morning I sent the pictures in a text to my girlfriend and my friend and asked wtf was this. They both said all they did was dance. I told them they looked really close and that it was really inappropriate, she told me I'm being paranoid.
I told them what my sister said she saw and after a bit of arguing my girlfriend said I either believe her or my sister. I told her I don't know what to believe and that I need time to think and she said "whatever" I messaged my friend privately and asked him to explain everything, I basically begged him and he hasn't messaged me. Not answering me feels like a sign of guilt.
I don't think my sister would like about this but there is a part of me that thinks she might've saw an opportunity to hurt my friend for hurting her, or maybe I'm just being naive. I'm really not sure what advice I'm looking for I just don't know how to go forward.
Do you and your guy friend have other friends in common? If so, I bet they know about this already.
Not really. He's not always the most friendly guy in the world. We know a lot of the same people but he keeps to himself for the most part.
I think it’s a major red flag that they said all they were doing was dancing. If it made you uncomfortable then it made you uncomfortable that’s a relationship. Cheating and boundaries are different for everyone and if you’re upset about it then they should be respectful and try to fix that. She should not being get mad at you and you should not be feeling bad about your feelings.
I’m so sorry OP this is such a tough situation. Also did you know this friend was going to be out with your girlfriend? Like is this a mutual friend or your friend originally.
I didn't know he was going out or that he would be with her. As far as I know it was a girls night out. He's been my friend for about 10 years, they're friendly but they've never hung out as far as I know.
My bet is on the sister, rocky situation and it's been 4 years after the rejection, you even knew if he was gonna be there? Wasn't she with her girlfriends?
I didn't know he would be there. My sister didn't mention seeing her friends but I don't know if she knows what they look like.
Did you even know they hung out without you? Or go to clubs together?
No, as far as I knew they had never hung out alone together.
So I figured I'd give an update to what happened. They never texted me back. At all, I probably would never have heard from either of them if I hadn't told them I just wanted the truth. They agreed to come over Monday night and explain everything.
The long and short of it is that they did go back to his place and had s*x but claim it was the first time. About 4 months ago they ran into one another after her and I had a particularly bad fight (that I don't remember) and he noticed she was upset so he took her out for lunch and they talked about our relationship and me.
They exchanged numbers, she ended up texting him about 2 weeks later after I went fishing with some friends for the weekend and apparently have been texting daily and hanging out 2-3 times a week. She went to extreme detail about exactly how I've pushed her away these last 6 months.
I told her I thought things got better after we talked about everything and she claims it got better for about 2 maybe 3 weeks and then it was right back to where it was. I asked why she didn't bring it up again and she claims she did. I told her regardless she should've just broken up with me and that cheating on me shouldn't have been her response to what was happening between us.
She agrees she f#$ked up but says I share blame in all this as well. I asked her if it was just s*x between the two of them and they both said no. I also asked why not just tell me the truth when I confronted them with the pictures and they said they panicked.
I asked him if he has anything he wanted to add and he said he's sorry it happened the way it did but he's not sorry that it happened. I told him there are dozens of women out there he could've gone for, regardless of the problems between her and me he didn't have to go for MY girlfriend. He said she hasn't been my girlfriend for 4 months. I told them to get out. I don't really know how I'm feeling right now.
I hated them when they walked in and when they left but now I don't know. I went to remove her from social media last night and she had a picture on her Instagram of the two of them. I skimmed through the comments and some people were asking what happened to me, some were people were congratulating them and saying they looked cute together, so that didn't feel great.
I also apologized to my sister for throwing her under the bus. I didn't realize that I did that until some people commented that that's exactly what I did. She said she doesn't care if it meant finding out the truth and getting them out of my life. I'm probably staying single for a while. Some people suggested therapy, maybe that's something to explore down the line. Anyway that's it.
Aye you better than me I would’ve whopped my friend a$$ it’s no way you thought f#$kin my girlfriend was okay, and to rub it in your face is a different level of disrespect.
I wanted to, believe me.
How old are you all?
I'm 30, she's 28, he's 32 and my sister is 23.
I am sorry this happened to you. You deserve to have better people in your life. Your ex telling you that you are partially to blame is a bunch of BS. If she wasn't happy, you break up. You don't cheat. Especially with your partners best friend. They are both horrible people. You focus on yourself now.
Get therapy and learn from this relationship. Enjoy time with friends who got your back. Take your sister out for dinner or something to just thank her and talk and have fun. Go fishing, try new hobbies, and enjoy yourself. The right woman will come along. Good luck to you. 🫂
Your (ex) best friend and GF are trash. Put them on the curb where they belong. Remove all forms of communication (block numbers and delete across socials) for them both and move on with your life. They don’t deserve 1 more second of your time, effort, and energy.
I say what you've learned here is your sister is reliable and has your back and that the other two can do one. She's a remorseless bitch for saying it's your fault she cheated. He's a total twat for going with his mate's gf. Remove both from your life and be thankful you've got a family member you can rely on.
Hopefully, now OP can move on to greener pastures where he's not being lied to.