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Woman asks boyfriend to pick her up during blizzard, he says no, pleads 'don't hate me!'

Woman asks boyfriend to pick her up during blizzard, he says no, pleads 'don't hate me!'


Commuting in a storm is no small feat, and it can feel ultra-exhausting after a long day at work. Especially if you're taking public transit and privy to delays and connections.

That said, asking a loved one to brave a storm to pick you up instead is going to incite mixes results. Some people feel comfortable throwing chains on the tires and coming to get their loved one. While others would rather play it safe and not venture out at all.

In a popular AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she's wrong for being angry her BF wouldn't pick her up in a storm.

She wrote:

AITA for expecting my BF to pick me up from work during a snow storm?

Yesterday afternoon/evening we got hit with a wicked storm. Near zero visibility, plows couldn’t get roads cleared fast enough, 20-minute commutes were taking over an hour. I have a license but no car, my bf has both.

We live together. He doesn’t work (rich dad), just sleeps until 3-4pm and plays video games all night after I go to bed. My work is a 20-25 minute drive, mostly highway.

We have an agreement that he picks me up from work on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. I take the bus every morning and I bus home on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

When I bus home he has dinner ready for me (just something frozen cooked in the oven). It’s 3 different bus lines, takes about 90 minutes. Uber/cab is between $40 and $60.

I’m not allowed my phone while I’m at work, so I get off at 5:30 to a bunch of texts from him about how Maps is estimating 51 mins for him to get to me and how awful it is out there so he isn’t going to come.

I was annoyed, but semi-understanding. He seemed apologetic and kept saying “I hope you don’t hate me”. I stood in blizzard conditions from 5:45 until 6:20 waiting for my first bus (scheduled to be there at 5:58).

My legs were numb and covered in ice pellets (which then melted on the heated bus and made me soaking wet). With each connection, I grew more and more irritated until I was nothing short of livid.

For my last connection, I was in the cold from 7:20 to 8:00. I didn’t get home until 8:30. I ran myself a bubble bath, ate leftover pasta while in the bath and then went to bed.

It took everything in me to not lose my sh*t on him for leaving me to commute in a storm. Even this morning as I left for work and he was snuggled up in bed I had to bite my tongue. Am I the **shole?

The internet defrosted their cold hands in order to type out their thoughts.

Ok_Release7133 wrote:

I'm confused...if it was 'near zero visibility' then how was he supposed to drive?

SDstartingOut wrote:

I feel like this is a slight YTA. The way you describe this: 'Near zero visibility, plows couldn’t get roads cleared fast enough'

I would not drive in this, period. It's pretty sh**ty that with a storm going on at work, you aren't able to use your phone. But the way you are describing it - it doesn't sound safe for him to be driving at all.

coastalkid92 wrote:

I think this is a case of NAH. Not sure what your workplace is like but when weather that severe begins, often times places make concessions for people to leave early.

If the visibility was that bad, honestly it was probably safer and better for you to be on transit rather than in a passenger vehicle. It sounds like you two need to have a better discussion about what to do in weather incidents like this one, especially when you're reliant on him for rides.

earofjudgment wrote:

Soft YTA. It sucks that you had to take the bus, but demanding that someone to come get you in dangerous driving conditions is not okay. Getting big mad about it it, and staying mad, is a little ridiculous.

How would you feel if your bf had gone off the road into a ditch, and you still would have had to take the bus, only he could be in the hospital or worse? If you're irritated that your bf is generally useless and lazy, that's a whole other discussion.

DaleCoopersWife wrote:

The real AH here is your employer, who kept you on-site and unable to use your phones, when there was a dangerous storm.If the visibility really was that bad, then you're asking your BF to risk his life driving to pick you up.

It's dangerous. it's not fair to him. you should've left your job early to get home safely. having a rich dad or him playing video games is irrelevant to the story. Find a job where your employer treats you with respect and one that's much closer to where you live.

LittlestEcho wrote:

Y'all clearly don't live in snow conditions. OP you have every right to feel abandoned. If my husband was my ride he wouldn't have cared if it was blizzards or not.

He'd leave early and be there or he'd call my work and ask to speak with me if he was going to be late. Where I live, the bus stops are very spaced out. He wouldn't risk me even walking to the nearest one.

But honestly, I feel like you've got more resentment for him going on than just not picking you up. He doesn't work, he only heats up frozen meals, he video games ALL day, and it sounds like he didn't check on you even once that entire 3-hour journey home.

Not to check if you'd made it to the next stop, not to check if you'd gotten on your next bus, nothing. Did he even say 'hi bye or kiss my butt' when you got home? Why do you stay with him? Does he even do anything to make you happy?

He sounds lazy and uncaring. Legit he said 'oh gosh OP the roads are so bad! It's gonna take me a whole 30 extra minutes to get to you so I'm just not gonna come! Don't hate me 🤪' knowing the entire time you were without a phone at work. He didn't even call your work to let you know. Just left a stupid text.

IanDOsmond wrote:

NAH, except maybe your work for not allowing your phone. If you had the ability to deal with this ahead of time, he could have paid the fifty bucks plus or minus for an Uber, or at least KNOWN you were going to be waiting for the bus, or something.

His decision to not drive in a blizzard was reasonable. Your anger at the position it put you in is also completely reasonable.

And, had you had some ability to know and prepare and make contingency plans and at least know what you were getting into, or to have him meet you halfway through the commute, or SOMETHING, you could have mitigated the situation.

A blizzard isn't his fault. Being furious that you were f**ked over because he wasn't where you expected him to be isn't your fault.

Clearly, the internet is somewhat divided on this one, with more leaning towards OP being TA. Weigh in with the comments if you have thoughts to add.

Sources: Reddit
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