Woman asks for cleaning costs after date spills on dress, he calls her 'materialistic.'
We all know the phrase "you break it, you buy it."
But what about "you stain it, you pay the expensive cleaning costs?"
In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she was wrong for asking her date to cover the cleaning cost of a dress he spilled on. She wrote:
"AITA for expecting my date to cover the cleaning cost of a dress he ruined?"
I (27F) am in a bit of a dilemma and could really use some advice. I've been seeing this guy for a couple of months, and we decided to go to a nice high-end restaurant for a date. Initially, I was going to wear a nice dark blue dress that I like to wear out, but he asked me to wear a different white dress that I had shown him once as it matched his outfit (I’ve never had a guy ask me this).
The white dress was a gift from my late grandmother and was quite expensive, so I was reluctant but agreed and just asked that we didn’t go anywhere after where I might spill something on it or mess it up (he mentioned clubbing after dinner which is why I said that, I didn’t want to risk messing the dress up) and he said we could just go to dinner and I could change out of it before doing anything else.
Great! However, the evening took a turn for the worse when he accidentally spilled his red wine all over my dress. He had gotten an unexpected call and when he tried to quickly mute his ringer, his elbow hit his glass and it spilled all in the lap area of my dress before I could react. It was completely drenched and stained.
He was apologetic at the time, and I tried to be cool about it, but inside, I was devastated, especially since I had mentioned specifically how I wanted to be careful wearing it. Later, I mentioned to him that the dress was very expensive and asked if he'd be willing to help with the cost of cleaning or replacing it.
To get it professionally cleaned and the stain removed would cost $100, which I asked him to pay half of. To my surprise, he got quite defensive. He argued that it was an accident and that I was being unreasonable for expecting him to pay for something like that, and that it was my fault for wearing it out knowing that it could’ve happened. I feel like it's a matter of principle.
Yes, it was an accident, but the dress is ruined, and it was extremely sentimental to me not to mention a valuable dress. He thinks I'm being materialistic and making a big deal out of nothing. Now, I'm not sure how to feel about his reaction. AITA for expecting him to cover the cost?
Redditors had her back.
oo-mox83 wrote:
Oh but you, the one who didn't want to wear it out in the first place because of this possibility should pay the full cost? Nahhhhhhhh get him to give you the $50 and dump his a**. He should have respected your reason for not wanting to wear it out to begin with, and he f#$ked up at every turn afterwards. He doesn't deserve to be in a relationship.
MotherOfShoggoth wrote:
He pretty much said your feelings over an expensive sentimental dress mean less than $50. Is this someone you want to continue with because he literally had you match his aesthetic, ruined your dress, and is catching an attitude over being asked to accept some responsibility and accountability. NTA.
1-Dragonfly wrote:
He acting like a jerk, open your eyes. This is a small price to pay with saving you from a lifetime of this crap repeating itself (and it will) Your NTA for asking him- but… sounds like you care more about him than he does about you?
IndigoSwashSF wrote:
You are NTA. This is not a good sign of his character, imho. I would reconsider dating him, honestly -- to put it mildly! Yes, it was an accident on his part, but still his accident and a costly one to a very sentimental gift from your late grandmother. If I was him, I would be so apologetic and promptly pay for the whole cleaning cost.
OP is NTA in any universe here, her date needs to shape up if he wants to keep seeing her.