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Woman complains about 'cheap' BF using coupons; people say, 'why don't you pay?'

Woman complains about 'cheap' BF using coupons; people say, 'why don't you pay?'

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It can be so satisfying to get a good deal. Things straight up taste better and feel better when you spent less on them, and it leaves you with more to spend on other necessities.

However, there are times when the endless vying for a good deal can leave you worse off than if you'd paid full price. The amount of time and energy spent on scouring coupons or arguing with managers can leave you more depleted than if you'd simply shelled it out in the first place. What's more, loved ones can quickly become thoroughly unamused by the antics of penny-pinching if they become a regular nuisance.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she was wrong for feeling embarrassed by her cheap boyfriend. She wrote:

'AITA for being embarrassed with my cheapskate boyfriend?'

We’ve been dating for about 4 months and mostly it’s been good. He’s cute, smart, and very successful. The only downside is that he’s almost addicted to buying things that are on sale or have coupons despite being a VP at his company. I’m not talking about sometimes or even most of the time, I would be alright with that. He never buys anything at full price. NEVER!

He plans his cooking around what’s on sale that week at the grocery stores. All of his clothes were bought on sale or clearance, even his socks and boxers. Last week we were at my friend’s house for dinner and she commented on his shirt. He proudly said he got it on clearance last year for $20. I was mortified. Lastly, we don’t go to any restaurant unless he finds a coupon or they’re running some kind of special.

Things came to a head last night when we went out to dinner. He had a digital coupon for buy one get one free. For some reason, the restaurant’s computer didn’t recognize the deal and the poor cashier couldn’t make it work. We were holding up the crowded line because he refused to pay for both dinners. Finally, the cashier called the manager but he was busy somewhere else in the restaurant.

While we waited, the people behind us were getting annoyed. I was so embarrassed I left him standing in line by himself and went to the car. We argued the entire drive home. We were supposed to go to the movies, because he got free tickets, but I wasn’t in the mood so he dropped me off. We haven’t texted today at all.

When I talked to my friends at brunch, they didn’t see a problem with it and I found it frustrating that they didn’t understand how embarrassing it is. Am I TA or is this normal?

People kept it real in the comments.

WholeAd2742 wrote:

YTA.

Stuff is expensive right now, especially with inflation. He's being money smart and frugal.

ThisWillAgeWell wrote:

'He never buys anything at full price. NEVER!'

What's so terrible about that? As long as he's never rude or demanding to retail staff, he's smart to chase the best deal on everything.

'He proudly said he got it on clearance last year for $20. I was mortified.'

Why? I doubt your friend thought any less of him for it.

'He had a digital coupon for buy one get one free. For some reason, the restaurant’s computer didn’t recognize the deal. While we waited, the people behind us were getting annoyed. I was so embarrassed.'

The fact that the computer didn't recognize the deal wasn't his fault. He had the coupon. He ate there with the expectation that the coupon would be honored. Again, as long as he was patient and not rude to the cashier, he did nothing wrong. If the people standing behind were annoyed, they should get annoyed at restaurant management, not him.

Overall, this sounds very much like a you problem, not a him problem. And calling him a 'cheapskate'? You've been dating four months. I can't see this relationship lasting if you continue with that attitude. YTA.

Usrname52 wrote:

YTA. I spent most of the post thinking N A H. But you're just really judgy of him. There's nothing embarrassing about mentioning a good deal on a shirt that someone complimented. If the coupon was valid (ie: he wasn't trying to get them to honor an expired coupon or get something different), he is entitled to the deal they advertise.

Maybe the cashier could have asked him to step aside and rung up other people while waiting for the manager, but this wasn't his fault, it was the restaurant. Also, I missed the part where you were 'so embarrassed' that you just paid the bill, instead of walking away.

CriticalElephant7787 wrote:

Are you ever digging into your own pockets to show him that you don’t mind spending money on him?

If his clothes are a big deal to you, have you ever bought him a nice shirt to show him that the quality or look is better?

You’re very proud that he is a VP, are you more proud of his job title than him?

You ever think that sometimes people might have other things going on in their life that they need money for and might not want to share it with someone he’s known for like 4 months?

You ever think that maybe sometimes people are just incompatible?

You sound like YTA!

GWeb1920 wrote:

YTA. I’m always amazed that people don’t base their cooking on what is on sale at the grocery store or buy meat in bulk and freeze it. It’s at least 30% and perhaps 50% cheaper that way. So certainly nothing wrong with that.

The restaurant one I find weird. If you are going out to eat rather than cooking at home you are already blowing the food budget out of the water so just go where you get the most enjoyment. But again if he wants to save money that’s fine. It shouldn’t be embarrassing for someone to use the items the restaurant provides.

I’m with him on clothing as well. Why would anyone ever pay retail for any clothing? Especially men’s where style changes much more slowly than women. So I think you are overreacting by being embarrassed and therefore are the AH in this situation. Have you considered why you find being frugal embarrassing?

Clearly, OP is TA, and has some serious self-reflection to do.

Sources: Reddit
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