Navigating a relationship between an extrovert and introvert can be complicated in social situations. In the home, having one person who keeps to themselves and one who likes to be out in the world can work out really well.
But in situations with in-laws and friend groups the push-and-pull between a shy partner and an outgoing partner can create tension. Finding a way to respect both people's comfort levels and preferences
She wrote:
AITA for walking out during my fiance's birthday dinner over what my FMIL said?
I'll preface this by saying that I'm an introvert. Although I'm in my 30s and have 2 kids, I've always struggled with being social. I have to admit that it can have a negative impact but it's part of my personality and I'm glad everyone around me respects that and understands.
However, my FMIL whom I met after meeting my current fiance, tends to make comments about me being awkward or overly shy. She always criticize me for it and often times she would bring it up in front of everyone and make me feel anxious. My fiance's birthday was yesterday.
I'd put lots of work and preparation in order to fit in with the family and just be chill and normal. Everything was going well til we gathered at dinner table. My FBIL came to sit with us and pulled his chair too close to mine that our hips almost touched. I felt awkward, I got up and tried to pull my chair inches away from him.
He didn't react but his mom (FMIL) was watching the whole thing and looked at me and said 'Good God! You're so uptight I bet you made your ex-husband put a sheet over you each conception' followed by a laugh. I was blown away completely. People actually laughed with her and I felt so upset.
I quietly got up and took my stuff and walked out. My fiance followed me outside saying I overreacted and ruined his birthday over 'a joke'. I was so upset we got into a huge argument then I insisted to go home. He came back hours later yelling about how I ruined his birthday and made a scene in front of his family.
He said he was sick and tired of my uptightness and that I need to loosen up and stop acting childishly. His mom called and he's now refusing to speak to me unless I apologize to him and his mom for storming out like that since his mom was just 'giving her opinion in a funny way' and this is how she is.
ThrowawayForADay0327 wrote:
NTA. You need to get out of this relationship. Being a single mom may be tough, but a future husband who would allow his mother to make sexual jokes in front of family to a person who obviously has social anxiety is not a man you should marry. Run from this family.
Strong_opinions_dude wrote:
NTA. Leave this man and his sh***y family. I want to add to this and say he should've defended you against his rude mother instead of blaming you for 'ruining' his birthday dinner. You're not the one who ruined it, his horribly rude mother is and if he can't see that now he probably never will.
MauserGirl wrote:
His mom was out of line and he doesn't have your back. Are you sure the two of you should be getting married?
Weekend_Breakfast wrote:
Woooow. Such a red flag that he defended his mother and told you off. That's a very bad precedent for your marriage because it will continue to happen over and over. You will end up miserable. RUN. FAST. NTA.
OP is certainly NTA, but her fiance and his family are deeply TA here.