At some point while scrounging up excuses for hooking up with your coworker at the office holiday party and sneaking out of a funeral with your cousin's wife "because she's a Scorpio," it's okay to admit that monogamy isn't for you. So, when a Reddit user asked, "What is the dumbest reason your (ex) partner gave for cheating?" scorned ex-lovers everywhere were ready to share the most ridiculous, hilarious, or boldly pathetic excuses that they heard to justify cheating.
“It’s not what you think it is!” After I walked in on them making out. While she was on his lap. Both without shirts. - MrSirChris
My serial cheater ex once told me while in a fit of tears. "I can't stop cheating, I just have so many issues, my mom lied about Santa when I was a kid and it really f*cked me up. I don't think I can trust people because of it so I cheat." - pastelflorist