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'AITA for abandoning my GF at an event while she was talking to a former fling?' UPDATED

'AITA for abandoning my GF at an event while she was talking to a former fling?' UPDATED


"AITAH for leaving my GF at an event?"

Here's the original post:

My (38M) GF (38F) has been giving me the silent treatment and demanding that I apologize to her, for "abandoneding" her at a tradeshow that the company she works for has a stall (it is a major annual show in the city).

I have been helping out with the event for the two weeks the event ran over as a chef for the kitchen products they sell (whilst on leave from my full time job), her acquaintance who she had previously worked with and had an on-and-off fling with was in the food court area and had called her to meet and catch up,

I am not the jealous type having no issues with her outgoing personality and easy way of taking with people, being in sales is an absolute must, she had taken a call from him and left me to go meet him with out letting me know where she was going whilst I was working (for free) at her company stand.

I had meet him a couple of times in the two years that we have been together, not liking him from the beginning, kept this to myself,he had on a number of occasions told my GF that he disliked me and was cold on the few times that we met and had in the beginning of our relationship told her that she must leave me as I was no good for her or they would no longer be able to be friends.

Having expressed my dislike for him and that I would rather not interact with him and have her maybe follow his surgestion of not being friends, but if she wants to see him just let me know and keep me out of it.

Back story done. Once the show was done I cleaned up and went to look for her, only to find the work call was him and rather close together (by my perspective),I watched for a bit before she noticed me and quickly stood up from the high table and moved away from him, little like a deer in headlights look,

I just turned and left her there,she came running up to me as I was crossing a main road getting to the car,I am apparently the AH for leaving, not saying hello to him and having her cross the busy road by herself. I am stunned and in a WTF state as I have to now apologize to both her and him for being disrespectful to him and abandoning her. I am annoyed to say the least. AITAH?

What do you think? Did he do anything wrong? This is what top commenters had to say:

Depaki said:

NTA. You're busting your ass working in the stall while she's having secret meetings with some guy who she has previously had an on and off fling with and has also threatened to end their "friendship" if she didn't leave you.

The least she could do was stay with you the entire time when you were working in the stall free of charge and she couldn't even give you a heads up that she was going to go on a work call? That's just wrong.

C_Majuscula said:

NTA. You didn't abandon her at her own work event. You got yourself out of a situation that was likely to end up in a messy argument at her work event which you were working for free. Pretty bold to ask you to apologize to the guy who tried to break you up.

Popular_Error3691 said:

Nta. Trust her reaction to being caught. She knew she was doing something shady, hence the deer in headlights act. Don't let her flip this to make you the bad guy, SHE SCREWED UP NOT YOU.

Aggressive-Mind-2085 said:

NTA. "whilst I was working (for free) at her company stand." .. why would you do that? Why would the ylet you do that?

MsKit77 said:

She’s gaslighting you. She was doing something wrong and turned it on you. Why act like a deer in headlights, if it was friendly and casual chat.

Spiritual_Process_87 said:

NTA - Dude told her to break up or they couldn’t be friends. But stayed friends when the bluff didn’t work cause he couldn’t let her go. The fact that she didn’t tell you and looked so startled when you saw her says she knows you wouldn’t have been happy and she shouldn’t have been there.

You don’t owe either of them an apology. If anything she owes you one for leaving you working for free while she gets a break with her ex fling and she’s being paid to be there. You might as well have “doormat” stamped on your head as far as she’s concerned.

Verdict: NTA.

He later shared this update:

Update as I have been asked. I have replied to some in the comments. The just of the matter is,we met for coffee and chat about the whole issue, she was better as it didn't bother him that I didn't say hello and just left so I don't have to apologize to him but I owed her a major one as she did nothing wrong and I am acting like she was cheating and sneaking around and did not seem to care about her feelings,

pointed out that she was doing exactly that going around meeting up with someone who actively is looking to break us up and she cares more about his feelings than mine, it's also seems that not only am I overreacting I don't know what I am feeling!

So we are no longer together,she seems to be hanging out with him again, jealous me saying,she communicates with me every now and then for were they are seemingly were people can see them together, hurt's still but think it was for the better.

Sources: Reddit
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