'AITA for assuming my friends were paying for my birthday meal?'
'AITA for assuming my friends were paying for my birthday meal?'
Throwawayguy980421
This happened a few days ago and I have been conflicted since.
Before my birthday, five of my friends asked if I would like to get some food and drinks out for my birthday. I said sure where would we go and Mike said "Anywhere you like."
I suggested a nearby Steakhouse that I have been to in the past.
We all met each other there, Mike was quick to order himself a drink and started talking about appetizers. I said I don't normally eat them but I will try one.
We ordered our mains and we all had ordered the steak and another round of drinks at which point Adam also ordered a bottle of champagne. I said you guys don't need to get me Champagne, it's only my birthday, nothing too special.
When Mike said "Lighten up birthday boy have some fun," I did think maybe I was being too uptight and since I was being treated — it's not too big of a problem, I may as well celebrate.
Mike started arguing with the table next to us because they threw a french fry at him. I tried to explain to him that they weren't even eating french fries. he had them earlier and must have dropped one. Then he stood up and started swearing at the table.
There was a child at the table about 3 years old who looked absolutely shocked. I told Mike to sit down and he started pushing me saying, "That man threw something at me." The waiter came over and said there had been complaints against us.
Mike just silently drank his beer and Adam started arguing with the waiter saying the other table started it. The waiter said we needed to pay up and leave in the next few minutes before there was a problem.
I said "Thanks guys do you want me to help pay" At which point they all looked at me and Adam said "You're the birthday man right? you got money" I said "I thought you were inviting me because it's my birthday as a present"
Adam chuckled a bit and said, "Weren't you the one that chose where we were going bud?"
Adam got up to leave and said "Let's go boys" I started to worry I thought they were pranking me or something and said "You can't really go." Then Adam started to walk away
So I grabbed him a bit and he looked at my hand and said "Get your hand off me pal" I just looked at him and said, "Why are you acting like this man?" They walked out and left me with the bill.
I tried to explain to the waiter about the situation. He said "Someone's gotta pay and your table was causing a lot of trouble tonight" I tried to apologise but he just looked at me like I was dirt. So I just paid, it was most of my money.
I spoke to my friends after and they just acted like nothing happened. I said "You guys need to pay me back" and I got several replies along the lines of it's already over leave it.
So I haven't spoken to them in a few days. I received a few messages asking me if "I am still crying" or if "I grew up yet?" I haven't replied and I want to know if I was wrong to assume that I wouldn't be paying. The whole situation had me feeling weird.
Commenters had some valuable advice for the birthday boy.
Karate-Wizard
Why would you be friends with any of these people? I'd have paid my part of the tab and left. If the restaurant wanted to call the police I'd let them and provide contacts to the police for everyone who ditched.
OP
I didn't want to cause anymore of a scene and I was feeling like an ass to the waiter and the table next to us. I am friends with them because we used to work together.
My_Friends_are_toys
NTA, but those are not your friends. Time to move on and find new friends.
Friends don't invite someone out on their birthday and stiff them with the bill.
Friends don't invite someone out on their birthday and start a fight...
Criticalvibecheck
When I read the first half I thought it was going to be that it was a split bill and OP thought his friends were planning to pay his portion. I can’t imagine inviting someone out for their birthday, insisting on ordering apps and drinks and champagne, and then sticking them with the bill for the WHOLE GROUP??
These are NOT friends, OP should never speak to these people again. NTA
anonymom135
NTA that is AWFUL. I thought you were going to ask if you should be expected to pay for your own meal, but they expected you to pay for yours AND theirs? And then forced you to by just walking out? Those are terrible friends.
punnymama
First of all - happy belated birthday!
Second - I’m waiting for the part where you have friends - because these are not them.
No, you are NTA for assuming that people who invited you out for your bday would buy, and you even offered! You even said they didn’t have to get you champagne and they didn’t correct you.
These are NOT your friends. These are not good people. It absolutely sucks that you had to find out the depths of their suckiness on your birthday, but at least you found out now. He was willing to terrorize a child over a French fry. They stuck you with the bill - and fully intended on doing so from the start. They were using you.
These are not friends. You are not an ah. I’m sorry you feel conflicted but you will find friends - true ones, not these dirt bags.
Starscream4prez2024
NTA- You got played for a sucker on your birthday. That was 100% planned ahead of time. None of those people are your friends. I'm sorry OP.
If you want revenge, take a copy of the bill and take them to small claims court for their portion. Just to be a dick lol.
nodontdothat99
~I said you guys don't need to get me Champagne it's only my birthday nothing too special when Mike said "Lighten up birthday boy have some fun"~
NTA. This is the exact moment where you indicated clearly (IMO) that you thought you were being treated, and nobody corrected you.
Your friends are kind of sucky people.