'AITA for breaking up with my fiancé for not bringing me lunch?' UPDATED

"AITA for breaking up with my fiancé for not bringing me lunch?"

Here's the original post:

I 25F and fiancé Mark 26M have been together 2 years. Me and Mark met through mutual friends and went to the same high school together but didn’t start dating till years after we graduated. He’s currently in the military and is stationed in another state but kept our relationship strong thru the long distance and of course when he comes home for vacation, breaks & holidays.

We also have a dog named Willie, that we got together but of course stays with me and sees Mark when he’s home. When he’s home, he stays at my place and spends time at his families while i’m at work. Since he flies home, he leaves his personal vehicle at base and sometimes uses my car. He also picks me up for my lunch break and eat together. He doesn’t miss a lunch day.

He got home 5 days ago and I returned back to work. Mark dropped me off so he could use my car for errands and to re up on Willie’s food since we just ran out during his morning feed. When he picked me up at the end of my shift, I asked Mark if he bought the big or small bag of Willie’s food.

He paused and mentioned he forgot to buy the food. Mind you i work a 10 hour shift and fed Willie the minute i got up to get ready for work which was 11-12 hours ago. I asked Mark, what has he been doing while i was at work and just said, he was out spending time with his brothers.

I’m a very understanding and patient person. I was mad that Willie had gone so long without eating but gave him the benefit of the doubt since he hasn’t seen his family in months. I let it go.

A couple days later, Mark mentioned he was going Christmas shopping with his brothers and wouldn’t be able to take me lunch since he was going before their shifts. My brother in laws are 20 & 22 and haven’t saved up for their own cars so had to use mine.

We had a surprise meeting that day which extended my lunch to a later time that Mark would be free for. I called Mark and told him of my new lunch hour and asked if he could bring me a plate of food. Mark weirdly hesitated and said he had to go feed Willie first since it was time for his 2nd feeding.

I suggested to feed Willie after he dropped off some lunch for me since my break was only for 1 hour and wouldn’t have enough time to eat if he went back home first. Mark heavily insisted on feeding Willie first because he didn’t want to upset me the way he did when he forgot to feed him a couple of days ago. I felt off. I love Willie very much but i told him Willie was not going to starve from 5 hours of not eating.

Mark suggested I just wait till the end of my shift to go eat after work. I was dumbfounded that Mark was being heavily hesitant on bringing me food. Especially since he’s in my car and I haven’t ate since last night because i’m not much of a breakfast person. I was starving. What could be more important than buying a plate of food for your starving partner?

I got upset and asked Mark what’s really going on because he’s never missed a lunch date with me. Mark got loud and said i’m tripping & hung up on me. I called him back and all calls were rejected. He texted me saying he was going home and we could talk after work because he was tired from shopping.

For petty reasons, i had a bag of chips in my desk that i refused to eat so he could hear my stomach growl when he picked me up later. I see him pull up to the front of my office building, and I calmly get into the car.

The second we got home, i tell him it’s over and ask to pack his things & leave. He calls me a cry baby & dramatic and will regret breaking up. Is he right and am i just being extra for ending the relationship?

What do you think? This is what top commenters had to say:

[deleted] said:

I can't tell you to break up or not but it def sounds like he was being shady about "feeding the dog"

BoudiccasJustice said:

Not being dramatic. He’s being super shady. I don’t believe he was really hanging out with his brothers these two days. He had other plans…

mutherofdoggos said:

You didn’t dump him for not bringing you lunch. You dumped him because he’s selfish, shady, entitled, and freeloading off your generosity, at the expense of you and YOUR dog. He was using your car to cheat on you, btw.

pompanodoe said:

He's the AH. He was using your car. He is staying at your place. You seldom get to see him. He is clearly hiding something from you, and he is grabbing at any excuse to hide it. You asked a simple favor. His refusal was rude and close to cruel. What more do I need to say? It's simple. He had a woman in the car when you phoned.

GnomesinBlankets said:

This doesn’t sound like it’s about the food. It sounds like the food was just the last straw.

And ArmChairDetective84 said:

He was either starting to get bored or he has another girl he was seeing …what are his friends that he serves with like ..their relationships? A lot of enlisted guys will let others bad experiences get into their heads when they’re away from home or they will get made fun of for basically being decent SO while on leave and start to take it out on the gf or wife.

The military pumps up their heads so bad that no one else’s problems or careers are as important as being a soldier ,Marine , or sailor ..so when they actually get treated like a regular old Joe at home they get all put out . Like “you dare to ask me to run an errand”? Or stand up to me “.

Count your blessings ..base housing sucks , the benefits for spouses is nowhere near as good as they make them sound , you’re moving every 3-4 years , shouldering all the responsibilities at home 6-12 months with some short leaves in between if you’re lucky .

She later added this update on the situation:

To answer some repeating questions, All gifts were bought and given to my mother in law since she loves to wrap and Mark is super bad at keeping gifts a secret. Even if extra gifts were being bought as a surprise, no gift would be okay to leave me with anxiety and overthinking, for the remaining 6 hours of my shift.

I also did not mention that i also had a feeling that he was probably out cheating since i wanted the actually thought and pov of everyone that read through this. I wanted to see if everyone’s gut feeling/intuition thought the same without my influence.

I also mentioned the part of me being petty to not paint myself as the saint some people say im assuming to be. And to show my raw emotion and irrational thinking coming from a place of hurt and anger.

Now the update: Mark packed his stuff and left. The next morning, i noticed he left an old college jacket that belonged to his step dad and meant a lot to him w a deep meaning behind it. I could’ve been petty and thrown it away but decided to text Mark and maybe even talk it out after a night of being away and letting things calm down.

I texted Mark “Hey, you left some clothes behind” and his response “Wow, already crawling back. Throw it away i don’t want that s&!t” without even knowing it was the jacket. I left him on read and decided to text his mother if i could stop by and drop off the said jacket. She said of course and told me to come by and also pick up the gifts im assuming i wanted back.

I came over and was immediately greeted by his mother and step dad which hugged me and asked if i was okay and needed to talk. I immediately broke down. I explained the situation and basically told the same story as i told on here. His mother was pissed and decided to call Mark and ask for his side of the story but did not mention i was there to listen in on the call.

Mark answered by saying that i called him at the time he was with Nick & Devon (his brothers) & told me that he couldn’t leave them at the mall since he was the only one with transportation and immediately blew up on him for picking his brothers over me. I yelled “THATS NOT TRUE” out of frustration.

And showed my mother in law the call history which checked out at the time that both brothers were already clocked in for their shifts. Which mother and father in law confirmed to be their shifts.

One brother in law also shared a picture of him and some co workers around the same time i asked him to bring me lunch. Mark hung up the call. In laws texted Mark and sided w me. I thanked them for the memories and love and left my engagement ring w them.

Mark has called me repeatedly and has sent texts messages begging to talk. After an hour, i finally answered and told him to tell me the truth or this would be the final time we spoke. Mark admitted to seeing another woman. An ex to be exact. I hung up and haven’t answered since.

I know it says that this all happened today but actually took place 2 days ago, i had typed it out and left it as a draft since i cried myself to sleep and have been trying to keep it together.

Update on Willie: Willie stays at a doggy day care while im at work lol but we both decided to leave Willie home while he was in town to save money from it.