Someecards Logo
ADVERTISING
'AITA for telling my girlfriend she's spoiled and needs to grow up?' UPDATED

'AITA for telling my girlfriend she's spoiled and needs to grow up?' UPDATED

ADVERTISING

"AITA for telling my girlfriend she's spoiled and needs to grow up?"

Here's the original post:

I met my girlfriend, Kate, a couple of years ago. We clicked immediately and shortly afterwards we started dating. We have a very good relationship overall, but there's something that has been bugging me for a while: our economic status is too different.

Her family runs several stores, pubs, nightclubs and a hotel. It's not like she's filthy rich, but she's definitely upper-middle class. I come from a far poorer background and my family always struggled to make ends meet during my childhood. Nowadays I have a job that pays below the average, but my life is pretty decent.

Rather than the different economic statuses though, what truly bothers me it's how different our perspectives are. Kate is almost like a full-time resident in the hotel, which means the hotel staff pretty much do everything for her: cooking, cleaning her room sometimes, etc... this drives me insane altogether. She has a house with no maids or staff, but she barely spends time there.

A couple of weeks ago we were talking and I told her she needed to stop relying on others so much. She asked what I meant and I told her I was really uncomfortable because she seemed too spoiled. She got mad and we started arguing. She didn't see any problem in her behavior, while I told her she'd need to grow up because normal people do not have their food cooked just by snapping their fingers.

Things escalated and she asked what was my problem. It's not like I have a problem, but I don't believe you can be an actual adult if you don't do anything by yourself. It's lazy and immature, and in my opinion not that different from adults living with their parents while they refuse to do any household chores.

In the end she called me an ahole and stormed off. We only talked a couple of times since this incident, but she told me she needed some time for herself to think if she wanted to continue our relationship. She didn't reach out to me yet. Was I the ahole or too out of line?

Do you think he was the a-hole? This is what top commenters had to say:

bright_copperkettles said:

YTA. "She didn't see any problem in her behavior, while I told her she'd need to grow up because normal people do not have their food cooked just by snapping their fingers." Some people do. She does. You are uncomfortable with her being able to afford what you can't, which is neither her fault or problem.

BaconEggAndCheeseSPK said:

If you are uncomfortable with your girlfriends standard of living, that’s a You Problem. There’s no reason why she shouldn’t enjoy luxuries such as cleaning and cooking services if she has the means. YTA. I’d be pissed if any man told me to fire my cleaning lady or stop sending my laundry out or stop getting food delivered because they simply could not afford the same to live the same lifestyle.

I absolutely know how to cook and clean for myself. But my time is worth more to me the money it costs to pay for those things.

MyDoctorWho said:

YTA. It is not her fault she was born with a golden spoon. It seems that your jealousy is getting the better of you. You are right that the different standard of living is causing conflict in your relationship but it due mainly to you. You are not willing to accept her as she is and expect her to cut out the comfort she has been provided with to your standard.

Heavy_Sand5228 said:

YTA she did nothing wrong and you’ve said nothing about her treating other people poorly or having a bad attitude. This was uncalled for. Just break up with her as you will live a life of envy and jealousy if you remain with her.

Verdict: a-hole

He later shared this update on the situation:

Hi guys, this is going to be the only update. After reading all the comments in the original post during the afternoon the judgment was pretty much unanimous: I was a raging ahole. I dumped all my insecurities in her and spouted very hurtful things for pretty much no reason. Not only that, but I fully admit I was really idiotic refusing to see ahead and thinking my opinion was "a fact".

I called her asking if we could meet later and thankfully she agreed. I apologized and she decided to break up with me. We talked for a while and things got very emotional. I realized that not only had I been a huge ahole, I had also hurt her deeply.

At some point, this went far beyond a "different perspectives" or "different social classes" problem and escalated into me attacking her for something that wasn't objectively bad. Also trying to control something that had nothing to do with me (and again) thinking I had the absolute truth.

We said goodbye and will probably be going no contact once things actually settle down. I think I'm going to stop meeting new people for a while until I can figure out my own problems. Some commenters mentioned that it was only a me problem, and I'm inclined to agree. Either way, I think I have to thank you all for opening my eyes. I wasn't just an ahole, I was the ahole. That's all.

Sources: Reddit
© Copyright 2024 Someecards, Inc

ADVERTISING
Featured Content