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'AITA for expecting my partner to pay half my hospital bill?'

'AITA for expecting my partner to pay half my hospital bill?'


Here's an 'Am I the AH' so bad it's jumped right off of Reddit and onto Twitter, where its gone right and truly viral. In fact, it's apparently so notorious that for whatever reason the text of the post has been removed by Reddit. Here it is on Twitter:

AITA for expecting my partner to pay half of my hospital bill?

Okay coming here as a last resort because I genuinely think this problem could be the end of my marriage. Also throwaway bc my husband is a frequent Redditor.

My husband (35M) and I (32F) welcomed our first baby three months ago. We've been married 7 years now and decided it was time to expand our family.

Everything was going well and we were in our little newborn bubble of bliss until the hospital bills came. Both my husband and I have jobs and everything financially is split 50/50, but we've always kept our money separate with the exception of a joint account for bills.

Throughout the duration of my pregnancy, I planned to go for an un-medicated natural birth with as little intervention as possible. That was up until I hit the 24 hour mark of labor, I caved and got the epidural (which I was open to having if needed).

My husband had no problem with it, even encouraged it. When the bill came he brought it to me to pay all $8,000+ (after insurance) from my personal savings, I asked why.

He said, 'you're the one that couldn't hold out for a few more hours and jacked up the bill with all your meds and an extra night's stay and I shouldn't have to pay for all of your extra requests. If I wanted luxury, I should expect to pay for it.'

I was stunned, and flipped out, but I'll spare you the details. He refuses to budge, calling me a princess for expecting him to pay for all the 'extra add ons' I requested in the hospital. This is by far the biggest issue in our 14 year long relationship so far and I'm so lost on where to go from here.

I gave in and paid the bill, but since then we haven't been talking much and honestly I just feel disrespected. Do I have the right to feel this way or is it just hormones? AITA for expecting him to contribute towards the cost of my childbirth?

Would I be the AH for considering leaving him?

Here's how Reddit took the story.

From tnannie:

This is some of the most vile behavior I’ve seen on this sub.

Luxury? For having your vagina tear to birth his child? For having pain he would never be able to tolerate? The epidural lets you rest so you can get through the pushing stage, which can last hours (or at least did for me). Since he’s not paying for the consequence of having sex with you, sounds like sex is a luxury he can’t afford.

His lack of generosity and compassion is appalling. This is not a man who should be raising kids. This is the hill I would die on. NTA.

From Ghiti:

INFO: What were the “extra add ons”?

But really, I don't care what they were. If he is b**ching about you going through 24+ hour labor then is the most clueless husband on the freaking planet. Whatever the 'extras' were - you deserved them.

He should have paid that bill, in full, himself. What a rude, parsimonious, and unloving man. He makes me sick to my stomach.

OP responded:

My epidural (I made it 24 hours I surely could’ve lasted 14 more), the lactation consultant (didn’t I read enough books), the nursery fee (it’s our baby so he should stay in the room with us no matter how sleep deprived we are), an extra nights stay (suggested by the nurse to help me recover from the zero sleep I had).

Any food I ate (I should’ve packed snacks because I knew it could be long), my postpartum supplies (should’ve brought my own), and when they tested his blood I requested they also test for the blood condition that runs in my family. After listing this out I’m now realizing how stupid I was to think I was in the wrong here.

_mmiggs_ said:

Everything is 50/50. That certainly includes the hospital bills for the BIRTH OF YOUR CHILD. That is also HIS CHILD. Run away. Leave this selfish AH as fast as you can. NTA

sea-ad9057 said:

please tell his mother what is happening and when you do file for divorce make sure you let ALL of the females in his like know exactly WHY you filed for divorce ... and when you go to court make sure its on the record... i would love to see the judges reactions to his logic

plushietushie said:

Personally, if it had been me, when he made that bulls**t speech my only response would have been, 'You can either pay 50% now, or child support the next 18yrs. Your choice.'

Most definitely NTA. Your husband should be rushing to support you right now, now throwing misogynistic insults for what you needed when birthing his child.

A resound no — leave him.

Sources: Reddit
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