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BF says 'selfish' GF is dismissing his 'mental health' by disliking his favorite show.

BF says 'selfish' GF is dismissing his 'mental health' by disliking his favorite show.


When a girlfriend tried to enjoy a date-night with her boyfriend, her needs were thrown out the window for his.

So, she came to Reddit to ask if this was fair or not, considering the circumstances.

'AITA (Am I the A-hole) for not letting my boyfriend watch his favorite TV show during our date night even though it's related to a personal issue he's dealing with?'

VeryDrained writes:

My boyfriend (25M) and I (24F) have a weekly date night where we cook dinner and watch a movie or TV show. Recently, my boyfriend has been going through a tough time dealing with his anxiety, and he's been using his favorite TV show as a way to cope.

Who hasn't been there?

Last Friday, I suggested that we watch a romantic movie instead of his show, but he insisted that we watch it because it helps him relax. However, I wasn't in the mood for it and wanted to watch something different.

Been there, too!

He got upset and revealed to me that the show was a comforting escape for him during his panic attacks and that he really needed it at the moment.

I didn't know how to react because I didn't want to invalidate his feelings, but I also didn't want to give up our date night tradition.

He accused me of being selfish and not understanding his mental health struggles, but I felt like he was using his personal issue to guilt me into watching something I wasn't interested in.

Now I'm torn between wanting to support him and needing our date night to be enjoyable for both of us.

So, Reddit, AITA (am I the a-hole) for not letting my boyfriend watch his favorite TV show during our date night, even though it's related to a personal issue he's dealing with?

So, are mental health struggles a legitimate reason to take control of the remote? Or is it an excuse that should be called out?

Here's what Reddit had to say...

Stale_Breadstick writes:

NTA (Not the a-hole). Date night is supposed to be enjoyable for both of you. If you do not want to watch something, but you get forced to and do not enjoy yourself - this isn't a quality time. So, you are selfish and not understanding, but he is okay with you not enjoying yourself when it is both of your quality time?

From your post it does sound like guilting and forcing his desires upon yours. If he needed it so bad he could reschedule the date night or watch a little of an episode and get back to the date night.

If you force someone to do stuff with you, because of your needs and call them names when they decline- it is toxic and uncool move. Your mental health is not an excuse, nor a guilt-trip card.

lifeisntsirius says:

NAH (No a-holes here). he has the right to his comfort show but you also have to right to not enjoy it. i feel like there’s definitely a compromise you could both make if you just had an honest conversation about the situation. Also out of curiosity, what’s the tv show he’s so reliant on?

OP answers:

The show is The Big Bang Theory, it's his favorite.

No_Explanation_1690 responds:

No relationship is worth sitting through that slop, not even joking.

EffectiveSign2230 agrees:

He's the a-hole if he's forcing you to watch the big bang theory, imo.

Yuudachi_Houteishiki adds:

It's very good-natured of OP to not say it's big bang theory in the title so she doesn't automatically get NTA.

insanitylevelzero points out:

So, OP already has been watching his show. NTA for insisting on something different and actually wanting to enjoy date night. He's being selfish for only wanting to continue watching his show during a time that about both of you. Considering his show has been around for like forever, it can't be that hard to watch an episode during any other time.

Well, there you have it!

If a tv show is your only therapy, maybe don't save it for date night with your partner. And also, maybe get real therapy.

Sources: Reddit
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